SD Birthday Party
I worked my butt off all week last week to get ready for SD's 8th birthday party. Now before you all judge me, I love being able to do this for her... at least I used to. I did everything that she wanted. Made homemade mini Barbie cakes for all of her friends to decorate. Ordered a big cake for everyone else. Got all of the brightest neon colored EVERYTHING that I could find. Made the food she wanted, etc.
Friday, DH let BM keep SD to have her birthday party there. DH had to go and pick SD up Saturday morning (our party was Saturday evening). He got to BM's (she wasn't home, SD stayed with her significant other) rang the door bell and nobody answered. He banged on the door and nobody answered. Finally SD's little neighbor friend showed up and told DH that she would just go in and find SD. She went in and SD was sitting on the steps crying her eyes out because she didn't want to leave. SERIOUSLY, SD, her moms BF, neither could get off their asses and answer the door! She said she missed her mom and didn't get to spend any time with her because she had been too busy playing with her little neighbor friend! I am sorry, but IMHO, SD is old enough to decide what she wants to do as in playing with friends or spending time with her mom, so I have NO patience for that answer. DH said SD cried the whole way home (45 minutes) this is after he told her that we would just cancel her party and she could just stay with her mom and SD FREAKED out and he ended up heading home anyway. SD wouldn't even aknowledge her sisters sitting right beside her in the truck! SD said she wanted to have her party and then have her BM come and pick her up :jawdrop:
NO freaking way!!!! Why should we work our butts off for her to have a party, enjoy the fun, and have her just leave DH high and dry??? He gave her the choice of have the party and stay the weekend like she is supposed to, or go back to BM's - no party. Of course she chose the party.
I can tell you that I will NEVER again work so hard and do so much to get ready for her birthday. She didn't even care that I had done all of that, nor did she thank me or DH. She is turning into an entitled, spoiled brat. DH is at his wits end and so I am. FML
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That sucks. I'm sorry. I did
That sucks. I'm sorry. I did the same for SS8 when he turned 7. All I got was, "My party at my mooooooom's was way more funner."
Sigh...
I stopped bothering, and I'm much less resentful. Never, ever, ever again.
We don't really do big
We don't really do big parties for the skids. BM throws them each a party for their party, and we refuse to 1) engage in her "competitions", and 2) raise kids who expect that 2 parties and 2 holiday celebrations are the norm.
We buy them a few gifts, cook whatever they want for dinner, and sometimes have a few family members over (mostly my family since DH's family isn't local).
It's hard NOT to raise entitled brats when we consistently bend over backwards to duplicate every.single.little.thing in their lives.
On the other hand, she is 8 .. so it's not unreasonable for her to miss her mom when her time with her has been limited. At 8yo, she may not really have the foresight to plan out her whole weekend and how she would spend her time. I know my skids don't think twice about playing with friends versus playing with dad. They do whatever is more appealing in the moment.
We have the party because we
We have the party because we do for all of the kids. Not going to make it any different for SD, I am just not going to the extreme that I did this year. Like I said, I did it because I wanted to.
As for missing her mom... this may sound harsh, but it is getting really old when EVERY SINGLE WEEK... that is what is said when the water works start. She is fine 10 minutes after she has settled into our house again. WE have 50/50 so it isn't like she only gets to see her every other weekend. Besides the playing with friends... BM was also more concerned with getting a pedi the morning of her daughters BIRTHDAY rather then spending time with her before DH came and picked her up.
I feel ya, and sorry! I did
I feel ya, and sorry!
I did SS13's party and dinner last year and he told DH it was the best bday ever. (No thank you to me).
Planned a bowling party for all his friends for this year, again, no thank you for me, but got to hear all about how his mom took him out to dinner at the spaghetti factory.
Guess who i won't be throwing a party for next year?