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A new day another headache

moz15's picture

Submitted by moz15 on Wed, 09/18/2013 - 1:58pm

Well, not much has changed in the way of things between me,the hubs and his kids. We had our fallout a little over a week ago and he seems to have only gotten worse. Treating me more like the doormat.

I cooked dinner for everyone last Saturday. Everyone ate(3 of the 4 kids) except his precious lil 13 yr old son who won't eat ANYTHING. I have been having either the boy or his father fix his food. Well, the hubs tells me that I need to offer him some other food and fix it for him when he refuses what everyone else is eating. :O Then his son specifically asks for something that requires cooking and not something easy like a sandwich and he even gives me a snide little laugh when he tells me. Being the stupid one........I fix it! ONLY because my mother was there and did not want to cause an arguement.

Then on Sunday I am doing "MY CHORES" and DH tells me that "we" can do that later and he wants family time right now! I asked him........exactly what will "we" be doing later. He says, "you can do those things later, now is family time." Okay, I did not think "we" were going to do any chores!! Then tells me that I need to take both of our girls to the store and buy groceries(he wanted to grill and we needed stuff to grill). Well, you see.......we split bills and such and I PAY FOR GROCERIES ALONE!!! He does not even offer to help me pay for them. Then I find myself going up to him........like a child......and say,"Can I go to the grocery store alone?" He gets all weird and says how he thought it would be nice for me to take the girls(one his and one is mine). I was explaining to him that I can get things done much faster alone and spend less money when I don't have two girls begging for stuff. He was not pleased but agreed it was okay.

THEN..........he tells me that his ex is planning on moving closer to us by the end of the school year. Currently she is 2 hours away. Well guys and gals........if that happens.....I will be sure to be a single mother again. This man I married only married me to fill a void in his life.......and that is when his kids are not here. Once they are closer.....I will not be needed.

Okay.......that is my rant for the day! Argh!

Comments

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Wed, 09/18/2013 - 2:21pm

You need to seek counseling asap. You need to find out why you are letting this "man" treat you like this. And it seems like you gladly accept the role.

Stand up for your self and see where the chips fall. You should not be letting yourself get treated like the house maid!

new to this's picture

Submitted by new to this on Wed, 09/18/2013 - 3:11pm

THIS!!!

Drac0's picture

Submitted by Drac0 on Wed, 09/18/2013 - 2:37pm

Damn!

Now I have a headache from reading this!

All the children living under my roof know by now the rules of the dinner table. "If you don't eat what's put in front of you, you starve!"

bearcub25's picture

Submitted by bearcub25 on Wed, 09/18/2013 - 2:48pm

Is this how you want your daughter to be treated when she gets married or in a relationship?

Or, she could go a different route and be nothing but a piece of meat.

ctnmom's picture

Submitted by ctnmom on Wed, 09/18/2013 - 3:12pm

You are actually making me angry. What kind of example are you setting for your bios? If I can quit drinking for my kids, and I'm quite the drunk thank you very much, YOU can give up this Asshat! Do it for your kids, this is SO unhealthy!

Jmom's picture

Submitted by Jmom on Wed, 09/18/2013 - 3:38pm

WTH!

itsmylifetoo's picture

Submitted by itsmylifetoo on Wed, 09/18/2013 - 3:40pm

I am NOT a short order chef, you eat what's there or you don't eat...same for skids (SO is on board). I believe you should stand up for yourself, you are not a servant, and my heart breaks to hear that you feel you are only there to fill a void of his children not being there...that is so unhealthy if he is that enmeshed with his kids. We are supposed to love our kids, raise them to be functioning adults, we are NOT supposed to live FOR them - or think of them as an extension of ourselves, they are individuals and should be raised to have their own thoughts, feelings, and gain independence. Our LIFE PARTNERS should be our confidants, the person we will be alone with when our children are grown and hopefully on their own (They don't get to this point if they are raised as extensions of parents, or like they are earth, sun, and moon - entitled). Our kids are there forever, our partners we choose and will be left with. Is this something you choose? Are you able to get out if you are feeling like a doormat and like you're a "filler," YOU should be his world...

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Wed, 09/18/2013 - 4:44pm

Holy hell

You really ASKED him (AND WAITED FOR HIM TO GRANT YOU PERMISSION) if you could go to the store alone???!!!

moz15's picture

Submitted by moz15 on Thu, 09/19/2013 - 9:38am

Thanks for all the feedback! I do go to counseling! I don't understand why I am so weak when it comes to him. I am not like this with ANYTHING else in my life. All I can think is that I do not want to upset him?? Crap, I don't know.

As for my bios........I take great care of them and they are thriving! Me and the hubs do not have any arguments in front of them ever. I am very protective of them and that will never change.

I have said it once and I will say it again...........he does not love ME! He loves what I do for him! I have pushed so far away from him at this point it is like I am not even there. My goal is to gain the strength to say what needs to be said and move on.

I get it.......I am weak. I am not a bad person. Just trying to figure it all out and how to handle it.

My husband is "in love" with his kids. Does that make any sense??? I love my kids with every ounce of my soul.........there is a difference. I am NOT his soul mate. His kids are.