Do I tell my husband what his son does in the morning?

I go into his bedroom to wake my 13 year-old stepson, and he jerks himself from laying flat to sitting up faster than I can blink my eyes.

He's sweating, so I ask if he's feeling okay.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he says.

I look at him, and see he's trying to slide something under his pillow. So I say, "what's that under the pillow?"

He then shouts "Nothing. Get out!"

Yelling first thing in the morning is not the way to answer back at me, so I grabbed the pillow and pulled it out of his hand. There next to him is his smart phone with a photo of my DD16 in her cheerleading uniform!

Oh but wait, that's just the start of all this. Next I see what looks like one of my bras partly tucked under the sheet. I grab the bra and pull at the sheet, and Holy H*ll he's naked except he's wearing a pair of my pantyhose!

I am speechless and infuriated. This kid has been wearing my undergarments and lusting over photos of my daughter!

Mrs. Shut-Up and Smile's blog
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Um Wow. I do think that your

Um Wow. I do think that your DH should privately address this issue with him.

So the wearing of women's undergarments I don't know anything about

I do think it's probably not the pictures of your daughter but the female form that he's after. Get him a Venus swimwear catalog and he'll probably stop looking at pictures of your daughter.

Venus swimwear catalog -

Venus swimwear catalog - lolololol!!!

Is this a joke?

Woahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, is this

Woahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, is this real life? omg! I would tell my DH for sure.

If this is actually true,

If this is actually true, which I'm reluctant to believe it is, I would for sure tell his father and start looking for a real good therapist....

^^this^^

If this is true... you need

If this is true... you need to address this calmly with your DH and find a good counselor.

Not so sure taking pictures

Not so sure taking pictures of SS jerking off to BD's photo wearing panties and a bra is such a good idea. He might say it was your idea!

^^^this^^^ A little

^^^this^^^ A little "self-experimentation" is probably normal, but not with all the additional props he is bring in -- NOT normal!

There are a lot of cross

There are a lot of cross dressers that would disagree with you on the last point.

There are some males that enjoy the feel of women's lingerie and clothing against their skin.

LMFAO. boys.... yeah i'd

LMFAO. boys....

yeah i'd tell his dad. he'll experiment, but dh needs to set boundaries FOR him like yesterday. and daddy needs to monitor the smartphone. keep your bedroom door locked, and your daughters, when u're not home and dont leave any clothing in the laundry area. victoria's secret mags are one thing, not a step's undergarments or pics of step sis. EW.

I think the kid needs more

I think the kid needs more than therapy. His father might need therapy too if I tell him. The boy is deviant at 13. I don't know where he goes from here.

This changes things up a bit.

This changes things up a bit. Sounds like you will have to lead the charge to the therapist on this one. Call. Book appointment. The three of you GO!

A boy is deviant for doing

A boy is deviant for doing what 13 yo boys do? :? Talk to your DH, he can discuss with SS about not taking your things or pictures of his step sister. I agree with above poster about the swim suit catalogue.

How is he a deviant? Because

How is he a deviant? Because he was masturbating??

I think the issue here is you, not the boy.

Deviant? No. Disturbing? Yeah

Deviant? No. Disturbing? Yeah maybe. He's not doing anything 'abnormal'. DH needs to be told calmly, not in a 'look what your freak-son is doing?' kind of way. There's also a chance that you catching him has humiliated him enough not to touch your things again. Of course he may look for other 'outlets'. He is likely not interested in his SS that way...just the cheerleading outfit.

You had every right to be freaked out by it...but had his dad handle it and let it go...and lock up your stuff.

Thought this... then got off

Thought this... then got off track.

Bahaha! I like this response

Bahaha! I like this response best!

But seriously, if you don't want him looking at family members maybe slip a playboy under his pillow today. As for the knocking and being that inquisitive on what he was doing all sweaty... well that should be obvious. The part about the pantyhose got me as needing therapy. The rest is kind of normal.

Agree. At his age, of course

Agree. At his age, of course he's wacking off. I think BS15 takes super long showers for a reason. Normal boy behavior. The pantyhose though......little weird. I'm reading a fictional book kinda on the same subject - John Irving's "In One Person"

Right now I feel very angry

Right now I feel very angry that he violated my trust, my privacy, and my daughter (at least in his own mind.)

I feel more like punishing him, as compared to dismissing the whole thing as puberty taking its course.

Yes, but that's your own

Yes, but that's your own issue. You want to seek revenge, which, as a grown adult woman, is not the right thing to do. You need to separate your feelings from this. If you do, at best I can call you immature, at worst... well, you wouldn't want to know.

He should be punished for stealing, but nothing else.

Do you have boys?

Not to throw out a tuque que,

Not to throw out a tuque que, but you violated his privacy as well. At 13, you should be knocking-and IMHO yanking his blanket off of him was a gross violation of his person.

Mine is 'mi casa es su casa',

Mine is 'mi casa es su casa', except it's NOT! Well maybe in theory (SD)

You had a sympathetic

You had a sympathetic professor who gave you beer??? Lucky! JK

touche? naw, never mind -

touche? naw, never mind - doesn't fit

-or-, donde esta el tequilio?

-or-, donde esta el tequilio? and then I'll certainly need el bano!

Sorry auto correct-Tu quo

Sorry auto correct-Tu quo que, basically saying but they did it too! He violated her privacy by taking her undergarments but I think SM in this case has the bigger violation-it's like she knew what he was doing and wanted to catch him.

Hell...someone left a men's

Hell...someone left a men's "Cosmo" that had a full color spread of Mark Ruffalo at work. You bet your ass I swiped it.

Oh yeah....he was shirtless

Oh yeah....he was shirtless in a few photos.

Love me some Mark Ruffalo.

LIZARD!!!! The new word for

LIZARD!!!! The new word for crew!!!

Yes, that was nice and

Yes, that was nice and random.

ETA: Eeek - throwing out the word 'lizard' I mean!...NOT nice to randomly pull blankets off someone!

Funny. My phone changes "Hey

Funny. My phone changes "Hey H" to "F**k you jackass".

Weird.

Cool!!!!! I want that.

Thank you for the laugh

Thank you for the laugh shaman..

LMAO!! My autocorrect

LMAO!! My autocorrect changes any words starting with t to twat waffle. Well played autocorrect, well played...

Mine phone just started doing

Mine phone just started doing the same thing... weird }:) !

Ha! Yesterday a girl at work

Ha!

Yesterday a girl at work showed me a text to her sister that auto-corrected itself to say 'but you have to give me head first' :O It was supposed to say, 'You have to give me a heads up first'!! Her sister was like, 'What?? That didn't sound right!' People in the office were wondering what was so funny.

This thread is hysterical! My

This thread is hysterical! My SD7 uses the microphone to type for her text, I text her a pic of a dog in a pink unicorn outfit, (she loves both of them)
Her response, (from the microphone to text feature) "that unicorn it's very cute very f***ing pink"
I was at work and laughing so hard I cried!

Hehe!

Even the pantyhose thing I'm

Even the pantyhose thing I'm not too worried about, just get him his own.

But yes, normal teen boy behavior. Remember, your daughter is not his biological sister so there really isn't an issue.

On your shopping list for today:
His own set of pantyhose
Swimsuit magazine (I think playboy is a little much and really meant for over 18s)
Maybe his own bra

Human sexuality is so complex that nothing surprises me anymore. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, I don't really care what the fetish is. Balloons, mascot suits, toaster on toaster, whatever.

Toaster on toaster???

Lol you'd be surprised. One

Lol you'd be surprised. One day when I was surfing porn with DH, I saw a link to "Saran Wrapped Lesbians."

Curious, we clicked on it wondering what kind of sexual act could be performed with saran wrap, of all things.

It was exactly as it said. Just lesbians wrapping each other in rolls of saran wrap. Not sure why we expected it to be anything else...

Ha! That's awesome...you

Ha! That's awesome...you gave her a shopping list...love it!

How would you react if your

How would you react if your husband stormed into your daughter's room, caught her masturbating and pulled the covers off of her? Most people would view him as a perv who wanted a peek at his naked step daughter.

I'm calling bull on this one. If this is true, you knew what he was up to as soon as you barged into the room. Most people would have been shocked and high tailed it out of there. You stayed and took a peek.

That's exactly what I was

That's exactly what I was thinking (well, in the case that this were true)

^^Yep!

"Stealing and looking at a

"Stealing and looking at a pic of someone who is like a sister to you while masturbating, not so normal."

That depends on how long the OP and her H have been married. She isn't his bio-sister and if their parents were married as he was going into puberty, then it's probably incredibly confusing to him.

I completely agree with you.

I should have prefaced my comment with, regardless it's not appropriate and explaining why would be best.

But the OP seems over the top vindictive, and I would worry about her attacking this kid to the point where he feels shame for what he's experiencing.

I feel sorry for this person's SS. I bet he's counting the days until he's 18 and out.

Exactly Party. ETA - I want

Exactly Party.

ETA - I want to be sympathetic to the OP, because I'm sure it would be appalling to find someone masturbating to a pic of your teenage daughter. However she's spewing things like deviant, punish, disgusting and that is where a draw the line. No empathy for the boy, who is more than likely trying to figure things out.

Pretty normal. After a visit

Pretty normal. After a visit from SS14, I find the Seventeen mag in the bathroom. SD doesnt' take it in there.

Boys are kinda gross.

'Seventeen' magazine is still

'Seventeen' magazine is still out there??

Maybe I'm not as old as I thought!

If this story is

If this story is true.....then you're waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay overreacting and vindictive to boot.

You pulled the covers off a a 13 y/o boy who was obviously masturbating. I wasn't there and even I figured it out. I think you're more disgusting than this kid is.

He's 13 and trying to figure things out. CALMLY tell your H that he should have the talk with his son.

And then STOP walking into his room and NEVER pull the covers off of him again. I think you tried to embarrass him and that's the worst thing you can do to teenager at this stage in their life.

I hope you didnt embarrass

I hope you didnt embarrass him? That would be a tragedy!

Your right to feel miffed about him using your SD pic and women's undergarments.

Let it go...and please leave it alone!

How do you know what items boys have used thru generations of boys learning about sexuality?
You wouldn't have a clue?

Since theres no magazines around, maybe that's all he had??

Let it go..

I took his phone, and I

I took his phone, and I looked through his photos and videos. Yes I searched his phone because that is my parental right.

He has two videos of up under my skirt while I'm sitting at the kitchen table. He also has other photos of my daughter.

If I gave the impression to certain members that I'm mommy-dearest barging in my stepson's room intending to embarrass him, then that is my fault for not fully considering how my writing would come across.

All I can say is that at first I thought he might be sick running a fever. Call me naive. In hindsight maybe I was.

But when I saw my daughter's photo and then my bra, I just couldn't make sense of why he had those things in his room. I was mortified that he had my bra in his bed, and I reacted without thinking. I reached to grab the bra, and the sheet came with it. I did not intentionally pull the sheet off of him.

When I saw he was wearing my pantyhose, I lost it.

Some may think I'm overreacting, or that I'm trying to be vindictive. But I feel my stepson violated me and my daughter in a most deviant perverted way.

Wearing your stepmother's pantyhose and looking at photos of your stepsister while masterbating is not normal or excusable in my mind.

Taking up the skirt video is sexually predatory.

And I think his father will feel equally or perhaps even more outraged by his son's lack of respect toward the women closest to him.

http://piximus.net/animals/da

http://piximus.net/animals/dancing-geckos

I'm with you on that!

OMG, stop, now it's dancing

OMG, stop, now it's dancing geckos??!! Lololol!

When I googled dancing

When I googled dancing lizards, this came up. It's adorable

I'm with you on this too

I'm with you on this too Party.

Too many after the fact information to justify the reaction.

Had this been included in the original post, then I'm willing to bet a lot of our answers would have been different.

I think this is a Crew or a resentful SM trying to get rid of a skid. Seems to me she's manufacturing drama to plead her case to her H.

Again....poor skid.

If not a crew, then a

If not a crew, then a lizard...or maybe a gecko!

OMG. You are the adult, the

OMG. You are the adult, the correct response should have been to walk out the door. How are you supposed to teach this kid to respect anyone when you clearly aren't respecting his privacy as a human being? As stated earlier, buy him his own panty hose, have dad talk to him why pictures of step sis are inappropriate, even though they aren't blood related. And then you should apologize as well for pulling the sheet off him, not knocking. How would you feel if your DH did this to your DD?

I would answer you this way:

I would answer you this way: If I was the father of a boy acting like this toward his female family members, I would be downright ashamed of the boy, and question myself as to how on earth my son developed these thoughts and sexual impulses, and why he would feel the need to degrade women to satisfy his hormones.

LOL!!! I hope she at least

LOL!!!

I hope she at least got some laughs out of this thread...

I bet $100 dollars YOU have

I bet $100 dollars YOU have him on such a strict lockdown, that the only available females around him are you and your daughter.

What are you going to do next to this kid? Drag him down to the local church, bathe him in holy water and start a series of self flagellation therapy?

He's 13th FFS. His hormones are raging. He doesn't know if he's coming or going and his SM is breathing down his neck and berating him for normal impulses.

He was looking at a picture of his older step-sister in her cheer-leading uniform. It could have been much worse. Have his FATHER speak to him about it and YOU need to stay out of it. Hopefully Dad is more level headed and will buy him some magazines.

Oh and stop ripping his covers off of him. That was way more inappropriate than anything he did.

After what happened, this kid

After what happened, this kid lost any right to privacy as long as he's under my roof. His BM lost custody because she's an irresponsible drunk who's more interested in partying than providing any type of stable home life.

My husband works long hours which leaves me the responsibility to take the lead in raising a boy that comes from a very different household than my daughter or I came from.

BM probably would give him playboy if it relieved her of any further distraction to her personal life. I'm quite the opposite. I feel a strong sense of responsibility to do what I can to shape ss13's character while there's still any chance.

I'm amazed that people think a simple talk with his dad and a few magazines will fix ss13's sexual misconduct.

I think the jury is still out as to who the naive person is here.

Oh, I'm pretty sure we know

Oh, I'm pretty sure we know who the real deviant in all this is. You seem to be on a perverse power trip, I hope this is fake. Like just wow said, what you are doing will likely result in the need of therapy for you step son.

How in the hell did he manage

How in the hell did he manage to get away with an up skirt without you knowing???

No adult, married woman is as naive as you claim to be.

Based on the angle it looks

Based on the angle it looks like he just held the camera phone below the table while sitting across from me, and let it record.

I see now that I've been extremely naive around him. Despite what some have suggested, I don't think providing playboy or similar magazines to a 13 year old who has already demonstrated unhealthy sexual impulses is the responsible way to approach this.

He's curious. Before cell

He's curious.

Before cell phone and camera technology, he would have been swiping your husbands Playboy mags and digging through your neighbor's garbage can for old Victoria Secret catalogs.

Seriously?? "13 year old who has already demonstrated unhealthy sexual impulses"

How are you not getting that you're overreacting and being a complete and utter twit about this??

Holy crap Shaman, you are

Holy crap Shaman, you are just too f'ing funny...please don't ever stop posting!

^^Very insightful for those

^^Very insightful for those who need to open their eyes.

Hmmm... I see your point. I

Hmmm...

I see your point.

I still hope he wasn't embarrassed?

But.. time for the talk with dad??

My thought..and I could be wrong.

But.. im pretty sure theres a difference between LOOKING at women's clothes and actually WEARING women's clothes? Right?

Is this a sign of future Transvestite behavior??

Transgender??

There seems to be an epidemic here in the U.S..

I cant wrap my mind around it.

Time for the MAN talk with dad!

He was very embarrassed. He

He was very embarrassed. He freaked out on me.

As for the man talk with dad; ss13 doesn't want his dad to know. That's part of my dilemma.

I feel very strongly that this behavior is downright deviant and offensive. And his father is even more traditionally minded than me. If I tell his father, their relationship will never be the same.

If I get him to a therapist, his dad will have to be part of that. I'm not going to get a therapist involved without the family knowing why.

If I don't do anything, then I'm enabling this behavior by failing to address it.

As for venting about this here, I wanted different perspectives without having to bring this up with anyone in the family, while I decide what to do at this point.

I am very hesitant to tell his father, but I can't do nothing on the other hand.

This is probably a dumb

This is probably a dumb question, but have you ever seen the movie 'Porky's', or maybe any of the 'American Pie' movies?

A guy putting on pantyhose doesn't necessarily mean he will be gay, a transvestite, or transgender. :O

Just make sure he always has

Just make sure he always has a full box of kleenex in his room.

I hope you dont share thid

I hope you dont share thid experience with the rest of the family?

Whatever circumstances that arise out this, its a really personal situation that I hope you only share with his dad?

What he did to fulfill some sexual need by exploring it in this way, would be damaging his psyche forever if its shared to everyone in the family, he will take this terribly wrong.

"Whatever circumstances

"Whatever circumstances should arise"

This would also make me

This would also make me question what does the BM actually do at her home?? Is she wierd? Does she let her boys play with dolls?

Did she breastfeed until he was 5?

Does she have strange men or women over???

Is she one of those crazy liberal types who bathe with their 5 yr old sons??

Hes getting these thoughts and images from somewhere?

Can you check his computer to see what hes been looking at?

Who knows, he could have actually looked at the wrong website when he was younger, and it displayed wierd stuff?
Hahaha

Also... it doesn't matter whether or not HE wants to talk with his dad!

That's not his choice at 13.

His dad WILL have a talk with him!!! No if and or but's

Blah, I'm tired...it's later here.

You are here

Do I tell my husband what his son does in the morning?

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