Vent from this weekend-Ss and his food issues
This weekend Ss6 seemed to regressed again in the food Dept. I feel so bad but when he gets like this I get so annoyed and I want to just tell him to go to his room so Dd and I can eat our food in peace. I'm just so tired of the dramatic crying when something is served that isn't his "favorite".
On friday, Dh and I got home around the same time and Dh had picked up some takeout of chicken, mashed potatoes, cole slaw and macaroni and cheese. When I got out of my car I could see Ss visablly upset and heard him say he wanted to go back to his mommys house. Dh got irritated and said "why? because you don't want to eat macaroni and cheese?" and Ss shook his head yes with tears filling his eyes. I just shook my head and got Dd and went inside. Once we were inside I proceeded to serve everyone and left macaroni off Ss's plate because, quite frankly, I just didn't want to hear it. I know he has issues but I get so annoyed when he starts up with the food crap. :\. Anyway, So SS sit's down and notices a tiny bit of gravy in his mashed potatoes and this guy gets a look of horror on his face and starts stammering that he doesn't like gravy... Like full on "I... I ... I ... I d-d-d-d don't liiiiiiiiiiike G-g-g-gravvvyyy." He looked like someone stabbed his mother and starts sobbing. W.T.F? Dh sat down and told Ss "I don't want to do this again Ss. It's mashed potatoes with gravy, you've had this before and liked it." Dh then mixed the mashed potatoes and gravy and you couldn't see the gravy anymore. Dh told Ss all you have to do is mix it in and you can't see it anymore.Ss seemed to calm down and begin to slowly eat his food.
Meanwhile, I sat Dd down and she begin to happily eat her mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and chicken. Ss looked at her and said "She eats macaroni??"... He seemed astonished. I couldn't help myself and I probably shouldn't have said anything but I did anyway. I said, "well yes, of course she does. She is already acting like a big girl and eats all her food" Ss gave me a weird look and started eating again slowly. I don't know if you guys have this problem but if we arent eating pizza or mcdonalds, my Ss eats SO slow. If Dh tells him to eat faster, Ss will start to sob and will say he can't eat big bites and the questions of "How many more bites?" will ensue. However if it's pizza, the kid will scarf that down within like 5 min. Anything else? Nope, he's sitting there for like a half hour to 45 min and needs to be reminded that if his food isn't finished that he will not be able to participate in any fun activities. Recently though, I've started making comments like "My my, *insert Dd's name*, I can't believe you're going to finish your food before you big brother" or "Wow, your big brother can't even finish his food before a baby!" After I say that Ss will speed it up and keep saying "Look msg1986, I'm beating *insert Dd's name*" I'll usually give him a look of surprise and "Omg, *insert Dd's name, you better hurry." Strange, I know but hey whatever works right?
Ahh, I know this food stuff is a dead horse issue here but I swear, it kills me!
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SS10 loves to eat slowly. It
SS10 loves to eat slowly. It drives me crazy but I'm having to wait on him to finish cleaning up when everyone else has been done for a while. I just start subracting video game time each time I see him not eating. 5 minutes for each time he's talking and not eating. Those 5 minutes add up fast lol
Ya know, if Ss enjoyed eating
Ya know, if Ss enjoyed eating slow, I'd say, "whatever" but it's not that. He just sits there because he doesn't want to eat and so He'll try to sit there and not eat anything and try to get up when we're done. It's frustrating.
Maybe we should get a video game system so we can implement that system!
Oh Fire_inside, you have my
Oh Fire_inside, you have my heart! lol. I'm right there with you. No one slam me here, but I just don't get the food issues. :? I know, from being on this site, that some adults really do have some issues with food and that's fine but I don't just get the extreme pickyness. Maybe it's because I grew up really poor and we ate what was served because there was no other option so it was eat or go hungry.
I know, right!? The macaroni thing kills me!! Ss sometimes likes macaroni, sometimes he hates it.
Thank you for the tip about the 'baby' stuff, I hadn't even thought about it from that angle. I def don't want to pit them against eachother.
Oh, yes, you are giving me
Oh, yes, you are giving me FLASHBACKS!! What these EMO C.O.D skids need is the swift end of a belt IMHO.
Had I EVER dared to act like that in front of my parents, it would have been an instant spanking with the brush or belt. Then we would be sent to bed without supper until we were good and hungry the next day. And yes, what we didn't eat for dinner would be served for breakfast. "Waste not Want not" was my grandmother's cry. She had lived through the depression and WWII.
That's the problem. Today's generation have NEVER experienced hardships or REAL hunger. They've been coddled up the ying yang.
Chef's brats would pull the same crap. In fact Prince Hygiene (the houseshitter) back when he was almost 7 PASed out BECAUSE OF FOOD!
"I waaana go to Mc and Donals!!" (babytalk for McDonalds) As you can see by my earlier post today, the Girhippo (BM) feeds them NOTHING but fast/junk food. So Chef did the same until he got exhausted making special "kid friendly" meals for six years.
Prince Hygiene started spitting out the delicious homecooked meal, made faces and wanted to go back to mommy's (TM)
Chef got sick of his shit and took him home saying "come back when you have some manners." Of course Chef wasn't allowed to DISCIPLINE Prince Hygiene, per the CPS worker, Girhippo.
He never DID come back. Instead he told the Girhippo that we "threw him out of the house for eating too slowly." Normally, the Prince would WOLF down junk/fast food; so fast he would literally CHOKE!! Of course the Girhippo bought his story hook, line and sinker and NEVER asked Chef what REALLY happened. :barf:
I have to agree with you
I have to agree with you thinkthrice regarding todays generation not experiencing hunger or hardship. When I was a kid you ate or went hungry and if you chose the hunger route, it was accompanied by a spanking. My Ss isn't disciplined at his moms though and Dh only has him on the weekend so anything done at our home isn't really enough to make a difference, IMO. Ughh..
Yea, we have this issue too
Yea, we have this issue too to an extent. Mostly just the slow eating though, especially if it's something they don't like. Usually if everyone else is done, cleaned up after themselves, and dinner itself is totally cleaned up (so this usually amounts to 45 minutes) and there is still a kid(s) left here's what we do. We give them a certain (reasonable) amount of time to finish what's on their plate (or whatever we feel they need to eat for the meal), if they do not finish their dinner in the time we give them they are grounded for the evening or next day etc. For every MINUTE it takes them to finish past that allotted time they get a chore. So I may give them 10 minutes to finish what's on their plate, if it takes them 15 minutes they are grounded and have 5 chores on top of it.
And yea the competition thing works sometimes, but not as often as I'd like.
We should try the time limit
We should try the time limit thing, that's a great idea!
Bm only feeds Ss frozen pizza and peanut butter and jelly. so if we serve something other than that, which we do, Ss just flat out doesn't want to eat it. I wouldn't even consider him picky, he just doesn't want anything other than frozen pizza and pb&j. It's tough
When SS doesn't want to eat
When SS doesn't want to eat what I fix, which is rare, he'll keep trying to talk to us or ask us questions about what we are watching on TV. I'll tell him "we can't talk to you until you are done eating". Is that mean? Maybe, but when he realizes he can't any attention from me or DH then he hurries up and finished. When he's at BMs he's used to lunchables and fast food so I'm glad he only rarely puts up a fight. But he's still young. I think you doing the competition thing is good as long as it's getting the job done and that you're acknowledging him when he is doing good.
I eat slow too so I get what
I eat slow too so I get what you're saying. Ss just sits there and won't eat unless we remind him though. He will just sit there and pick his names or talk about things. I would give him kudos if he just ate slow but he just sits in hopes of us not noticing and that he won't have to eat. It's insane.
I have seen those people at restaurants!!! I feel so bad for those people!! I mean, talk people! socialize!! lol. Or the ones who sit there staring at their phones. smh
SO used to do the how many
SO used to do the how many bites shit. ALL the bites. I shut that down when I was the only one buying groceries.
It's aggrivating, isn't
It's aggrivating, isn't it?
This weekend, Ss started trying that with me as his dad had stepped out to go to the store. I just ignored him. After the 5th "msg, how many more bites" he stopped and finished his food. So frustrating.
I get what you're saying but
I get what you're saying but this isn't about eating slowly for Ss. He will just sit there and not eat. Dh has to literally remind him to continue eating because he doesn't want to eat and this is primarily because of his poor eating habits Bm's. Over there he only eats frozen pizza and PB&J. My Ss was in the hospital a few months ago for severe consitpation caused from poor eating habits.
Yeah, we def are trying to be encouraging but he just isn't biting-no pun intended lol.
Ss was doing well for a while when Bm's boyfriend was enforcing the "everyone eats the same thing" rule at their house but from what Ss said recently, it seems the STBstepdad is working more at night and so Bm is "cooking" his faves of pizza & pb&j's again and thus the food issues seem to be popping up again. gahhh 
OH god we did this. I put
OH god we did this. I put the kabosh on that. Don't want to eat? Off to bed, no tv, no games, no videos, no books- stare at the wall or sleep. No water or milk before bed.
SS used to pull this shit, then ask for 5 glasses of milk later on because he was hungry. You have to stop it NOW before it becomes a lifetime behavior.
I'd spank his bratty ass, but you can still fix it without spanking. No more negotiating. He's 6. He acts this way because it gets him special attention and causes stress and he knows that and he likes it. So stop. Off to the room for the night, don't come out, and see you in the AM.
I love it when SS10 uses the
I love it when SS10 uses the excuse that he doesn't feel good or his stomach hurts (when in fact he was begging for junk food just an hour earlier). I tell him, if you don't feel good then you need to go to bed. He then proceeds to pout and say "No, I'm fine." and starts to slowly eat his food again.
This is Ss too. He will say
This is Ss too. He will say he's "sick" or "full" so Dh will say "oh okay, how about we make you a peanut butter and jelly?" and Ss will light up and say "OK!!!" and then DH will say "I thought you were sick/full?" and SS will remember that and go "oh, well, not anymore" and so Dh will tell him "...okay, well since you're not really sick/full, eat your food" and then the "how many bites though???" questions will follow.
Oh, sneaky DH lol. Don't give
Oh, sneaky DH lol. Don't give him a number. Tell him he has to finish certain things. I rather SS10 finish the protein on his plate than the card. So when he asks how much more he has to eat I tell him he has to finish the meat, half the carb (mash potatoes or whatever I've cooked) and he has to finish his veggies. I don't put that much on his plate so no reason not to finish.
This is what I want to do
This is what I want to do however I just worry that he's going to go back to Bm's and tell her that we're starving him.
Another concerning thing is that, given the option, Ss will just NOT eat. It doesn't seem to bother him the few times Dh has sent him to bed without eating. He will just wait to eat breakfast. Did your skids ever have that attitude? What did you do? Do you even entertain the Q's of "how many bites?" or entertain the crying?
believe me, if he were my kid, I would spank him but he's not and Bm doesn't agree with spanking. A few months ago she had Ss in counseling because she was trying to get a adhd diagnosis (she's constantly trying to say he's disabled in some way-he's not btw) and Ss started coming over saying "My mommy and couselor told me to tell you, that you are not allowed to spank me" so Dh doesn't even want to go there because of that.
We started taking pictures of
We started taking pictures of SD8s meals after a very rude call from BM about us starving SD. We'd print the pics out and send them home with her. Before and after shots of the meals and how little SD was CHOOSING to eat. Never heard another word from BM
ETA: Saran wrap the dinner plate, serve it for breakfast. It works when we have SD for an extended period of time. but when it's a regular weekend visit she will just stare us down, chug her milk, and say she's going to eat when she goes home to "mumma"
It seems to me that ss is
It seems to me that ss is attempting to manipulate a situation whereby the adults are so sick of his antics they will just capitulate and feed him what he really wants, his favourites or whatever he has decided he fancies for that meal (hence why he sometimes eats mac and cheese then other times refuses it). My own ss would one week eat my spag bol for example, then the following he didnt like spag bol, another week he didnt like mushrooms and the next and in order to prove a point to my dh that ss was just misbehaving and also used to junk food (our bm would constantly buy mcdonalds and kfc) I gave him breaded mushrooms which he nearly choked on in his eagerness to stuff it down his throat :sick:
I would suggest you sneak veg into things he likes and you can hide - my ss liked pasta, so we switched to wholewheat. I would cook curries and hide brocolli in it. We also had to educate ss about diet and health, because bm would always try to get ss to eat treats before he came to our house, so he would refuse to eat his dinner and she would achieve this through bribery of chocolate, cakes but then tell him these things were nutritious when he refused to eat them as he had started to listen to dhs educating about sugar, fat and healthy living :jawdrop:
Ohhh I HATE mealtimes with
Ohhh I HATE mealtimes with SD8! This girl can, and will if SO and I don't stop her eat a half a large pizza... this is not joke or exaggeration. She's 8 and homing in on 100lbs, she can and WILL eat half of a LARGE pizza. But if I put 7-10 bite size pieces of chicken, 1/4 cup of veggies and 1/4 cup of rice(SO has celiac, we don't do pasta)on her plate... she eats the rice, half of the chicken.. and then "Daddy, I'm so FULL! I just can't finish! you gave me TOO MUCH!!!"
Just shoot me. I literally measure her food out so I know for a fact and can tell her with complete and total asshole honesty "I gave you and BS the EXACT same amount. He is 5, You are almost 9 and almost a foot taller than him. Eat your food. Eat. All. Of. It."
I'm over the food battles lol. She will sit nd stare at her meal as well. Like we won't notice. We converse with eachother and SD6 and BS and interject it with "Eat SD8." The younger two have to sit and hang out at the table until SO and I finish , and then we all leave the room.
this is awesome!!! lol. Thank
this is awesome!!! lol. Thank you!!!
Puked up a greenbean
I can relate. My SD is a picky eater. She used to be the worst - she would only eat white foods like pasta, bread, mashed potatoes, etc. I tried to get her to try some vegies and her dad told her she could walk to the minimart and get some candy if she would eat 1 greenbean.
So as we are walking to the minimart with her, she stops, pukes up a whole greenbean on the sidewalk, and complains it bothered her to think of it in her stomach. WTF? DH bought her some candy and we never tried to get her eat vegies again. She is DEDICATED to her dislike of vegies...LOL.