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My wife doesn't want my son in our home after he hit her daughter in the eye. She deserved it.

my kids matter too's picture

Hi I'm new. I've been reading posts for about a year now but never posted. A man at work gave me this website address as a marriage present. I've never felt the need to post till now but I do read almost everyday.

I'm married to my wife of 1 year. She has a 13 yr old dd. I have a 15 yr old son. My son is great in school and never been in trouble. He is involved in activities and has lots of friends. SD is good in school but has issues with drama and talking. She is social and does activities.

Wife and I are each divorced and she has full custody with sd seeing her dad every other weekend. I have 50/50 with my ex. Wife and I have been together for 3 years living together on our wedding night on. So a year. She had a clause in her divorce that prevent over night guests.

So my issue. My son had some friends over to swim. Sd decided to swim with them. No big deal at first. Sd threw a ball at my sons head on purpose and hit him with it. He took the ball and threw it out of the pool. Sd got furious and went to get the ball. On her way out of the pool she went by my son and reached down and grabbed his privates. She didn't let go and my son hit her multiple times (3) in the face before she let him go. He punched her in the face 3 times to be clear.

My sd started screaming and wife and I ran outside to see what was wrong. Sd gets out of the pool and her face was swelling up. I thought she'd been stung by a bee. My sons friends were holding my son up above the water and trying to get him out of the pool. He wasn't speaking and his face was contorted. That's the only way I can describe how he looked. He was in some serious pain. I forgot about sd and helped pull my son out. He came out hunched over and wouldn't straighten out. I thought something was seriously wrong like a seizure. Apparently she grabbed his privates and twisted and wouldn't let go. It took about 7 or 8 minutes before my son could talk and about 20 before he could get up.

Wife went crazy. She was screaming and tried to go after my son. I pulled her back and she took sd to the ER. I called my ex wife to let her know what was going on. She came and got my son and took him to urgent care. Urgent care sent them to the ER at a children's hospital because his privates were swollen and bruised. He needed to see a specialist. So far so good on no damage but they said he may have problems later with blood flow due to broken blood vessels. (I think that's what they said.) Sd's eyes both swelled closed and she had a broken nose. Cops were called by the er at BOTH hospitals as were cps.

Sd was arrested for assault on my son. My ex wife decided to press charges after my wife told the cops she wanted my son arrested. My wife is furious and says my son shouldn't have hit her. Shouldn't have hit her that hard it that many times. I'm defending my son. She had him by the balls and his penis. She twisted and yanked his privates. He said that all he could do to stop was just hit her and he's never felt pain like that before. He said it was a reaction and he didn't hit her after she let go. All of the kids in the pool back up what he said. Sd said he was being mean to her and she told him to stop and she slipped and grabbed on to anything and didn't mean to grab his privates. She says she was mad but would never do that on purpose. Wife believes she slipped in the pool and had to grab and pull twist my sons privates to stay above water. I say bullshit she did it because she was mad and wanted to hurt him.

Wife says my son isn't allowed in her house anymore. Its her house but I pay ALL the bills and support the 4 of us while my wife goes back to school to follow her dream. I have been staying at my moms house when I have my son and my wife is pissed saying I'm not putting our marriage first because I'm gone half the month. Plus I told her she has to get a job to cover half of the bills since I'm staying at my mother's a for half a month now. I feel it would be mooching off my mother to not pay rent and utilities that my son and I use. Not to mention her food bill is going up. I want to pay for my son and I and not take advantage of my mothers kindness by allowing us to stay there. I make a good living but I can not afford to pay the bills at home, my wife's school and half of the bills at my moms. I don't make that much money.

Any advice???

Comments

moeilijk's picture

I wouldn't say NEVER, but almost never. And this is one of those times. I don't see that the son had any choice - if a wild animal had attacked him, or a stranger, or his own sister (if he had one), I don't think the kid could have behaved differently. I don't see him as acting out of anger at all, I think anger came later.

OP, would you bring your son back into that home, even if your wife allowed it? It doesn't sound like a good place for him.

my kids matter too's picture

I haven't thought of it being a bad place for him to be honest.. I was told immediately after the incident that my son would never be in her home again. My wife is very angry with my son but I don't think my sd will touch him again. She now says she's afraid of boys and being beaten. Sd stays away from me and I stay away from her. I was thinking if a therapist could get through to my wife and make her see what really happened than her angry would be towards her daughter and not my son. I won't bring him back there until or unless I'm sure she's not going to abuse him physically or mentally. But I hadn't considered if it was a healthy environment, I just thought of it as our home. I need to consider that though. Thank you for that.

ETexasMom's picture

Did you not read the son was transported to the hospital because his genitals were so swollen and might have difficulties in the future due to the damage????

moeilijk's picture

You mean, "My SS15 just punched my DD13 in the face and broke her nose! He was playing in the pool with his friends, and she was just swimming around and then went to get her ball, but she slipped and accidentally touched SS's privates as she tried to keep from falling. That bastard SS punched her over and over so I took her to the hospital. The police were called, apparently BM was all agitated about her kid getting touched by my kid and took SS to a different hospital. Ends up that my little girl got arrested because SS claimed that she really hurt him. I told the police I wanted to press charges against SS but they wouldn't listen. My DH says that they had to get a specialist to help in the ER because of the likelihood of permanent damage to his junk, but DD says she barely touched him. Of course his friends are all ganging up on DD and saying that DD grabbed his junk and twisted it and wouldn't let go and that SS only hit her to get her off of him, but I know SS is lying and so are his friends. Maybe DD is a bit annoying to him, but he should NEVER have hit her, no matter what!"

notsobad's picture

I read that SD did get arrested and the boy did not. The police here are pretty good at sorting out information after the fact and they listen to Drs.

Eyes swell shut fairly easily if you hit the right spot. My bet is that boy was swinging wildly trying to get her off him. And he got lucky or unlucky and hit her in the right spot.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Are you from the era that when a woman got raped, she deserves it or liked it or had it coming or dressed to get raped?

WTF...REALLY's picture

Your theories that him punching her face and breaking her nose is over the top self protection. That they both assaulted each other and that both could/should have charges brought against them. It reminds me of the stories of when women told people they were raped, people would say the above phrases. The boy did the right thing...stopped the girl by any means before permanent damage was done.

notasm3's picture

Stop the bullshit. The disgusting obnoxious SD made a conscious decision to viciously attack a male by grasping his genitals and not letting go. Why? Because his attitude was "mean" to her. Not a valid reason to physically attack someone.

That's really no different than blaming the female rape victim because she did something wrong that offended the sexual offender.

The SD who decided to viciously attack a male by assaulting his genitals is nothing more than a POS.

Some male sexual offenders attack a woman because they feel they were not respected by women. Rape and sexual assault often has nothing to do with sexual desire to have sex with someone. It is often used to "punish" those who have caused imagined harm.

moeilijk's picture

I'm not. I don't have any more information than you or anyone else reading the post. Enough information was given to form an opinion and share advice and support. If that advice and support is based on a lie, well... then all us nice people have wasted our time. There's really no value in running around claiming that we don't have all the information or trying to play devil's advocate, unless there is some point in gaining additional information - which, in this case, there isn't - or some benefit to showing how another might perceive events differently - which, again, there isn't.

This guy is living with the situation that his kid and skid have violently attacked each other, to the point that both required emergency medical attention and the police and CPS were called. His marriage is over, his relationship with his kid is in danger. Who cares if his kid wasn't a paragon of perfection until SD came over and started to remove his family jewels? It's just no longer relevant, and tbh, comes across, to me at least, as though you are personally motivated to blame the teen boy for what happened.

You have the same information as I do, and you are committed to seeing it from a certain framework. No one will stop you. It is, however, coming across to me as though it is the framework that matters and not the facts (as we know them to be).

IMHO, of course. And best wishes.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Fully disagree with you.

It's amazing how boys or men get the short end of the stick with sexual assault. I guess if a man or boy ever grab a woman's in that area and twisted her, she should just slap his wrist and poke his eyes out like some have done.

When your assaulted, your instincts just kick in. If she did not want to have her face punched, she should of stayed away from his privates.

WTF...REALLY's picture

If she did not want her face smashed in....then she should of not assaulted him sexually!!!!! seriously .....good grief!!!!!!!

notsobad's picture

I posted below but it bears repeating. Men can die from having their testicles squeezed. They can also be castrated and have erection problems from this type of assault.

Disneyfan's picture

:jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:

She's 13. Teens (and adults) make stupid choices from time ti time. This doesn't make hee a bitch or means she deserved to die.

notsobad's picture

I definitely agree that both of these kids could have been killed. Not that either one of them should have been.

notasm3's picture

Well maybe SD should not have been killed but it would have not been a great loss to humanity if that POS SD had been killed.

my kids matter too's picture

Thank you for your kindness. We are in therapy ordered through cps. Kind of. We've been ordered to take parenting classes and my wife and I see a therapist together to help us become better with parenting. I think its bullshit honestly. My wife and I have to do this to keep cps happy and away from our kids. We don't need parenting classes. Both kids are usually well behaved. Or maybe we do. I don't know.

I would rather have my wife and I see a therapist on our own. We were given a name and that's who we are seeing. The therapist focuses on what we should be doing and saying to the kids not about what happened or how to fix it. Mostly how to handle school issues and friends and drugs and experimentation. Things we aren't dealing with. When ever I bring up what brought us there the therapist dismisses it and says we should be better parents and this is how you learn. Wife likes her because she isn't making her deal with what happened. My wife sucks up to her and takes notes.... I've suggested a counselor for my wife and I after the required counseling is over but my wife says we will see. I am paying attention in counseling but its stuff we don't really need right now. I am frustrated because there isn't any progress or even any attention to our issue. I swear last week was how to talk to your child about sex.

How can I get my wife to attend therapy with me? With a different counselor? She can pick one just not this lady who ignores me and focuses on my wife. I feel as if I don't exist there. Its just her and my wife talking and if I try to say something its met with sighs...

twoviewpoints's picture

Meh, won't hurt your wife one bit to 'learn' about talking to her daughter about sex. Obviously SD never 'got' the lesson on guys privates.

She could also stand to sit through a session on how not to allow a 13yr old female to swim with a bunch of male 15/16 year olds.

However you and your wife sort this out between her house verses grandma's and finances is up to the two of you. The damage between the two step kids is done....nothing will ever go back to how it was. The children's relationship is finished.

my kids matter too's picture

I've seen your post before so I know that you are very blunt with your responses. I tried to give a very detailed account of both kids and what happened so that I could get some help. I'm at a loss of what to do. My wife truely believes that her daughter didn't do this on purpose and slipped and touched his privates. She isn't interested in hearing how they were swollen and how he had to see a specialist. She thinks her daughter slipped and her hand touched his "junk" as she puts it. She doesn't believe her daughter grabbed it for more than a second to right herself and that my son beat her because he wanted to and that was his excuse. I'm all for the bluntness that you usually respond with. Let me have it. I need the wisdom that some of you give. I'll listen to the good and the bad. I don't want to divorce my wife. I have never loved anyone like I do her. I just can't understand why she isn't seeing what really happened. But I can't just see my son for a few hours every other Saturday for the next 3 years and then what happens after that? He has a whole life to live and I want to be a part of that too. I'm torn and confused on what is best.

simifan's picture

^^^
This.
I would not want my son around this girl ever - This was a particularly vicious attack. If I was your ex. i'd be demanding you keep my child away from his attacker.

WTF...REALLY's picture

^^^^^^this is great and what I would do.

Your poor son, what a monster of a girl to do that. She could of made it so he could never have kids. Is your ex even going to let your son back in that home? As a mom, I would have to talk to the kid that assaulted my son and talk to the kids mom. Otherwise I would not let my son back in that home.

Your son did nothing wrong. He acted on instinct and thank god he did. He must be traumatized.

WTF...REALLY's picture

^^^^^^yup.

And your son was sexually assaulted. I hope the girl got some form of punishment.

my kids matter too's picture

Thank you for your responses. Sd has not received any punishment as of yet. My mil is paying for her attorney and they are fighting the charges. She is in therapy but not for her behavior but for her fear of men and how she thinks every boy wants to beat her for a mistake. Yes I'm angry. I'm very angry right now and I don't know what to do. I just spoke to my ex wife. As some of you pointed out she may not want our son back in my home. To say you are right is an understatement. I just got my ass handed to me by a woman who is normally pleasant if we speak. We normally just text if there is an issue. My son is 15 so we text just a few times a year and that's it. Well sh just said more to me than she has in 7 years and non of it pleasant. She will not allow my son back and she will file for emergency custody and my son is instructed to leave if my sd is ever around and call her immediately. She is afraid sd will want to punish him and accuse him of something that will ruin his life. I see why she is saying this. I'm just so heartbroken right now. I love my wife with all my heart and I know now that our marriage is 100% over. Just seeing what you guys said and hearing from my ex wife what will happen if my son is near that girl. I know its the right thing to do and I will do it for my son. I'm just heartbroken. I can't fix this. The love of my life is my wife. I'm going to call a therapist on Monday to talk with and see if they can get me in and help me be strong. I'm just....it hurts really bad right now to know it's over.

WTF...REALLY's picture

So sorry your hurting. Your ex did what I would do in this circumstance.

Time to move out of the wife's home completely. Your son deserves to feel safe.

WTF...REALLY's picture

That's true about the MIL. Get out while you can and stop paying any bills towards wife's home. She is on her own asap.

shamds's picture

 

honestly i just find your sd who assaulted your son now in therapy playing the pity party “oh i didn’t mean to, total accident, i’m afraid of men (cry cry cry crocodile tears) they’re all out to hurt me and punch me and i’m afraid of men now”, then comes court hearing is she pleading insanity/self defence? Self defense won’t work.

your son can’t be in the vicinity of sd ever, because from all the stuff you posted here, there are witnesses (friends of your son defending him), now police are objective enough to know if friends are covering for their mate, they’ve confirmed sd intentionally assaulted him. 

You’re in a really tough spot and going through counselling to deal with everything is commendable because plenty would have left the marriage especially if your spouse has banned your child for something he did in self defense.

moeilijk's picture

There are so many layers of issues here, I can understand it can be difficult to feel as though your choices are muddled. I am going to lay things out how I think they are, from your side of the fence.

Your SD deliberately and effectively assaulted your son, to the point that he needed the medical attention of a specialist and may have long-lasting effects. She's 13, not 3. No excuse for her behaviour. Had she been a boy and your son a girl, she'd most likely be locked up right now. Even if she 'slipped' and grabbed to keep from falling.

Your son punched SD after she attacked him, and seriously hurt her.

Your wife blames your son for what happened.

Your wife wants you to keep your son out of your shared home.

Your wife wants you to pay 50% of the bills even though you only live there 50% due to having custody time outside of the home because of her not allowing your son into your shared home.

You feel therapy is focusing more on how to talk to kids about specific topics and not on how to handle the actual stressful situations your family is facing.

---------------

What I see here is you are focusing very much on the right/wrong/if-I-just-explain-clearly part of things, and also on the current non-functioning of your family.

Look to the future. What do you want to happen? In an ideal world, things would go back to the way they were before they exploded that day - but, the tension and underlying issues would still be there, simmering away. So whatever the future is, it's not going to be what you were living with.

What concerns or expectations does your son have about returning to that home? Has he been open with you about his worries and fears - was he open with you before this, because I suspect it's not the first time SD was out-of-hand. Is he getting therapy, and/or would you put him in therapy if you required him to live 50% with SD?

What about your ex? Did your son talk to her about any concerns with SD before this? What about now? How willing is she to allow him back into the home where he was violently assaulted? I don't think she has the right to interfere, but I do think that, assuming she's a good and loving mom and reasonable person, she may have some information or perspective that will help you understand how to best help and protect your son.

Let's say that your son seems totally ok with returning to your home, and you and your ex believe that he is confident all will be well. What about the concerns beyond your son? Do you think your son would be safe if your SD is around and you're not? Like, if you're sleeping or at work? What if he's not? Do you trust your wife to handle anything that might come up? Do you think your wife might hurt your son out of revenge for what she thinks he did to SD? Or that if SD were to escalate matters further, would your wife continue to protect her?

Now, about your wife and your marriage. You know more about her today than the day you married. You feel that you shouldn't have to choose between your wife and your son, but maybe you do. Your wife has shown you aspects of her character you don't like, don't respect, and which actually frighten you a bit. You're an adult. Can you, in good conscience, bring your son into this environment and keep him safe? Marriage counselling won't change your wife's character or undo what you now know about her or about SD. It might make you able to work with what you know - would that be enough to bring you happiness in your marriage and peace in your mind about your son?

moeilijk's picture

Not sure why your post appears here. In my comment, I stated that after SD attacked son, son punched SD. Did you misunderstand that to mean something else? I said nothing about when SD let go.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Tommar is right, I took your sentence to mean that the girl grabbed him, the girl let go, and then he hit her. Sorry I misunderstood.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

If a girl was sexually assaulted and fought back and seriously hurt the attacker - in most cases she would not be charged. This look like the police handled the case exactly like they would have had the sexes been reversed.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Generally on this board it is assumed that the OP is telling the truth, rather than the opposite. Not to say that people don't call out posters that are shading the truth - but that is usually after some time or some evidence. From what I can tell this poster had done nothing to make anyone think he is not telling the truth.

z3girl's picture

I can't believe how vicious that attack was. Is this woman really worth it? I know love is blind, but she is not willing to even go to couples therapy with you! She must feel she holds the upper hand if she makes all the demands and doesn't try to work the issues out.

I agree with babybugged. If the situation had been reversed, the outcome would be so much different. It's wrong. I don't see how you can fix this. I'm sorry, but I don't think it's worth staying in this marriage. I almost never tell people to get out because we only know a small part of their lives posted here, but this was too disturbing. This "small" part is a deal-breaker.

Disneyfan's picture

I honestly do not see how the marriage can go forward after this. Neither side will ever see their kid as being the aggressor.

IF the the OP and his wife were able to work through this the boy's mom and the girl's dad will never be able to do so. I can see both exs threatening to go to for full custody if the kids are ever around one another again,

notsobad's picture

I really hope that your son is going to be okay.

I had a friend in HS who's father died of a ruptured testicle. A woman apparently squeezed his balls in a bar fight, I have no idea what happened but she did go to jail for assault. He apparently died of a heart attack.

I'm with your ex-wife, keep your son away from this girl. She is playing the fear card in the hopes that everyone focuses on how this has effect her and forgets why she got punched in the first place.

I think your son had every right to punch her, his adrenalin was pumping and he was in fight or flight mode. She had him by the balls so flight wasn't an option!

You need to find a good divorce lawyer and stop paying bill for a house that you no longer live in.

oneoffour's picture

#1: What kind of woman allows her 13 yr old daughter to play around in a pool with older teenage boys?
#2: Your son and SD have only lived in the same home for 1 yr. I suspect she was trying to get his or one of his friend's attention with the ball incident and when he ignored her, her nasty little female hormones kicked in for revenge.
#3: Bullshit on the 'slipped and grabbed' theory. How deep is the water that she had to slip and not have her head below the water level? I don't know many teen boys who would like to mess around in a 3 ft pool.
#4: If the 'slipped and grabbed' theory is true then how come she didn't grab an arm or leg? Certainly something larger than your sons junk in a cool pool?
#5: I would move out permanently. Inform your wife that the present living situation is intolerable for both of you and your respective children. You wish her well in her dream career and hope her daughter graduates from therapy. And in turn you are sure she hopes your son is able to bear children in the future because the medical costs of her daughter's assault will cripple her. It may not play out this way but put the fear of hell into her head.
#6: Assure your son he never has to see this girl again without one of his parents at his side.
#7 Speak to your wife and ask her if your son had slipped and fell and to save his fall in the pool he had grabbed her daughters breasts and twisted them causing permanent damage and her inability to ever breastfeed. Would she be so accepting of your sons explanation?

oneoffour's picture

You allow your daughter to play with boys she has known all her life. Not lived with for one year and known for 3. It just screams that she wanted attention from the older boys. She got it.

Disneyfan's picture

It's his wife's house. How many SMs will tell their bio kid he/she can't swim because her stepkid and hus friends are using the pool???? Perhaps she should have said her pool was off limits to the stepkid

oneoffour's picture

Maybe the girls mother could have sat outside to keep an eye on things. If this girl is such a precious little flower she should have thought about this. Teen hormones... sheesh!

Disneyfan's picture

Or she could have just told the SK to stay out of her pool. :?

Clearly the OP nor his wife expected this. if there were any Indication that something this awful would occur, then surely the pool would have been off limits to the boy and his friends.

moeilijk's picture

I probably would have said to girl-kid, go do something else, SS is in the pool with his friends.

Depends on how often he's got friends over, but honestly, at that age, I think give the kids a chance to horse around without a hanger-on.

If girl-kid had a friend of her own over, probably both groups can go in at the same time.

It's all about how people interact. Most likely a kid on his/her own is going to be bugging older SS for attention while he's got his friends over. If the kids didn't know each other, then younger kid wouldn't want to go in or would be happy to keep to him/herself. Maybe the bugging would happen if other kid has peer over as well, but more likely they'll do their own thing with ocassional social volleys.

Disneyfan's picture

I think that works when both kids are the owner's bio kids. However, many SMs might resent telling their bio to scram while their SK got to enjoy something of theirs (TV, pool, game,food....)

moeilijk's picture

Lol, true enough! Although a lot of normal people are SM's too. TBH, I can think of parents who would tell their bio-kids to scram so the parents could enjoy the pool! (I'm definitely one when it comes to food. DD1 is always watching to see if I'm going to eat that last cracker....)

notasm3's picture

Your SD is lucky that he did not kill her. Because if I had been sexually assaulted by someone younger and smaller than me I probably would have drowned him or her in that pool. And felt ZERO remorse.

Your wife is as big a fucking asshole as her daughter. Any person (man or woman) who thinks that sexual assault (especially on a teen even if by a teen) is something to be swept under a rug and denied is a despicable POS. And sexual assault is most often marked by violence NOT the desire to have sex. Her daughter's grabbing his genitals to inflict maximum pain and suffering is no different than if she had taken a stick with splinters and shoved it up the vagina of a girl she was mad at.

I know you love your wife, but many of us have loved assholes. You can stop loving anyone. It's not easy but it is doable. First thing is to drop ALL contact. Just cut her off 100%. File for divorce and never look back. Marriage to an asshole can NEVER work out.

kaehbee's picture

Get the hell out now and stay out. Send wife all the medical bills. Divorce her. Stop paying for anything in that house. Your wife is fucked in the head. The sd is going to fuck up some guys life make sure it's not your son's. If my daughter had done that to any guy i would have had her arrested myself. Fuck the bloodline loyalty bullshit....assault is assault.

ChiefGrownup's picture

The love of your life does not raise a daughter like this who will do that to your son. This woman is not the love of your life. You thought she was. You are not the first among us to get, as the song says, smoke in your eyes (when your heart's on fire).

Your EX-wife is doing the right thing. Follow her lead as a parent. Keep your son away from that girl at all costs. Next, knowing how horrible this kid is, keep YOURSELF away from her at all costs. No good can come from being around her for either of you.

Yes, this means divorcing your wife but you have to do that anyway because it's slightly possible she is not responsible for raising such a twisted girl but she gets no pass whatsoever for her response to what happened.

Mr. My kids matter too, I was once a 13 year old girl. I have several sisters, nieces, and young friends -- all 13 at one time. IT IS IN NO WAY NORMAL, INNOCENT, NOR ACCIDENTAL THAT THIS GIRL DID THAT. Something is seriously very wrong with her. She is a dangerous person. Her mother needs to do some extremely serious parenting for that girl to have any chance to straighten out but your wife is going in the opposite parenting direction that she needs to. She's teaching the girl she will accept any ludicrous lie she feeds her and she will fix whatever mess she gets herself into at the expense of everyone else around.

I agree this situation cannot be fixed and I agree most of us have been in love with the wrong person at some time. It doesn't feel like it now, but you WILL get over it. Neither you nor your son should go back to that house when the women are in it (wife/sd). Only go to change the locks or move your stuff out. Stop paying for wife's school. Start on a clean break right now. Your son may be traumatized by this for the rest of his life. Forget marriage therapy -- focus on therapy for you and your boy.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

I agree with your ex too. There is no way in hell that your son should ever be near his attacker- your SD. That is another form of abuse.

Please protect your son and stand up for him. This 13 year old girl may just make you her next target and ruin your life too.

RUN!!!

Siemprematahari's picture

So much wrong in this situation and although I don't know all the details as I wasn't there, I'm curious to know what your sons friends said and witnessed about this situation? Did they agree with what your son stated? As this can also be evidence of what happened in the pool.

Based on what you have said, your son was defending himself and if it was me...... I'd punch someone in the face as much as I could in order for them to STOP. If she assaulted him 1st I'm sure this will be a learning experience to keep her hands to herself. Again no one knows what went on but those who were in the pool. This situation as brought about a lot of ugly emotions that you need to reflect on and make a decision on how you will move forward in your marriage.