All of you are totally awesome. I am so happy that there's somewhere I can vent and not get called horrible, or bitter, or jealous (me? of the BM? hah!) From reading some of the earlier posts, I have it pretty darn good.

I'm 33, US military, in North Carolina (duh, right?) DH is 36, military, and originally from Louisiana. We've been married for over two years. It was a quick, spur-of-the-moment jailhouse wedding. DH didn't tell SD (then 10), BM, or even his own mother until afterward. I never really wanted kids of my own, but I figured a middle school SD wouldn't be so bad, right? Old enough to teach and reason with, right? -insert rolling eyes here- Boy, was I naive.

SD12 isn't a bad kid. (I repeat this to myself when I am frustrated or complaining about her) She is 12-going-on-8, despite BM's trying to push her into "being a woman!" i.e. makeup, "pretty" clothes, etc. She's sweet, and innocent, and loving.

What she also is is:

horribly overweight (190 at 12 this summer)
lazy (won't do ANYTHING unless it involves the TV or computer)
whiny (that usually straightens out after about a week)
ignorant (Changing schools 4 times in 5 years in the state rank #44 will do that)
pigheadedly opinionated on things she knows nothing about
emotionally manipulative (it's what she sees and gets from BM)

DH is NCP, and has less than 30% of her time. We get her for either Thanksgiving or Christmas, and for six weeks in the summer. DH pays CS while we have her, and ALL travel costs. It's not like he moved away from BM and SD12 either, she fled the state they were living in, claiming he was dangerous.

My big issue is BM. She's not quite as whacked out as some of the BP you all deal with, but I loathe her. She is a constant thorn in our side. She has warped SD12 into a mirror image of herself, and it's gotten to the point where DH doesn't want to deal with either of them. She's just.... I don't know how anyone can pull the crap she's pulled and still declare herself a "good Christian woman."

Since this is getting long, I'll just end it here. I'll probably rant on about BM in the future, but after reading your stories, I realize she's just a blip on our radar, and not a major factor in our life.

Trish