SO wins the award today for Best Deflecting and Child Like Behavior. This weekend was a nightmare with SDstb15.

Nightmare weekend Day 1:

I had a bday party for SO at our house on Sat which capped off a long stretch of birthday stuff I did for him to make it special. It's hard for me to host a party, I'm the introverted type who shops online to avoid the mall. I love my family and his family, it's just an effort for me to entertain is my point. Anyway, so SD12 is here all weekend helping me prepare. She was a huuuge help and I told her as much repeatedly. I could tell she was happy being with me on sat while her dad worked getting everything ready together. We had fun. SD14 comes before the party with SO's mom like a dark cloud descending. She goes immediately up to her room. No offer to help or show her face until the party started.

During the party she gave me dirty looks, didn't acknowledge my parents, took SO's phone and deleted a picture of me, acted like she didn't hear me when I wanted to take a pic of her, SO and SD12 (she heard me). Then after the last of her family left she went upstairs and didn't say goodbye to my parents who were the last to leave and helped clean up some. So as SO and I are cleaning up and he's ordering SD12 to do this and that I whispered to him, you know SD12 was a huge help all day and maybe SD14 could help now. He tells SD12 to go her her sister and say he needs her. SD14 doesn't show. About 15 min later he texts her to come down, she replies with "No, I'm not coming down and being around her." Meaning me of course. A string of texts back and forth and SO tells her it's going to be a problem if she keeps acting like this toward me. She says he should just be happy and respect the fact that she's coming to see him. And that maybe this will be her last visit here.

The balls on this kid!!!!

I don't think she realizes I read the texts sometimes. I disengaged from her mostly months ago, she can't be here without SO, I won't drive her anywhere, I don't tell her what to do and ask don't prepare her any food, etc. But even with disengaging I'm having trouble not caring. This isn't what I wanted for myself and my family.

Through all this SD spends the night in her room happily chatting with her friends on her phone and never comes out. SO does......nothing. The picture she deleted? He does.....nothing.

He tells her before bed that this is a problem and it's not okay for her to act like that. Wow SO! SCARY! I'll bet she's shaking in her boots now! He comes to bed and says we'll have to figure out what to do about her. He's going to call her counselor on Monday and come up with a plan, try to get BM on board (ha! Ok). I say uh huh and he says I'm sorry she's acting like this. I tell him to not be sorry, to fix it. He says you want me to punish her, should I take her phone away?! I say idk what the consequences should be, she's your daughter so it's up to you. He gets annoyed. Whatever.

Nightmare weekend Day 2:

Skids are supposed to go home in the morning because we have my BD13's school play in the afternoon. They generally go home around noon and SO drives them. I asked him 10 times over the last couple weeks what the plans were for this Sunday and the play. I had to preorder tickets. Literally, 10 times! He told me to get tickets for him and I. Skids were going home prior. Well guess what? BM decided to make plans this weekend and he should drop them off at 5pm. Way to work that out SO! So SD12 will be coming to the play, no big deal. Both SO and I assume SD14 will want to stay home and not come. SO tells SD14 we'll be leaving and she says "I'm not invited?" He says of course you are if you can talk to needalifeboat and be a part of this family. She says never mind. He goes up a half hour later and asks her to think about it. She says no if you don't want me to come then I won't. He says he wants her to come.

I'm annoyed as fuck by this point. SD12 is crying about not having clothes, I step in to fix it and find a pair of my BD's shorts she can wear. SO comes to me and says he just doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to do about her. I say, "I'm really hesitant to say anything." (Reason being it always bites me in the ass because I don't like his daughter, I just want him to be angry at her, etc. etc.)

He says "sounds good." Walks away, ignores me, clearly angry the rest of the time. Ten min before we need to leave for the play SD14 announces she's coming. I tell him I'll meet them there, I want to be there on time to meet my parents and see BD13. He's annoyed.

They arrive, we buy tickets for skids and go in. SD14 doesn't acknowledge my parents sitting there, says nothing to anyone. Sits with her arms crossed, doesn't clap. SD12 tells BD13 at intermission that she doesn't even know why they're there since she's not in it (BD13 is tech crew) and that the play was pretty bad. SO is cold and distant toward me. After the play SO now has to take them home, so he'll be gone for a few hours, which admittedly I'm pretty ticked about. Had he worked out the weekend plans with BM like he should have, we would have had the afternoon to do something together. Or, at least, we would have known what we were dealing with timewise and could have worked it out. SD14 barely mutters a bye over her shoulder to us and keeps walking. Because SO is mad AT ME he doesn't text me during the drive, which he usually will to tell me what time he'll be home. He doesn't ask about dinner, on purpose. I can tell he's setting me up.

BD13 has to stay and clean up so I grab my other bios from exH and go back to get her. Tell her it's her day to pick what she wants to do. She requests food and ice cream. We barely eat out so no surprise. Parents and I decide to take them all out together. I say we can't wait for SO to get back from his 3 hour drive because everyone is starving, I'll get him food to go, he can eat and we'll wait for him to go get ice cream. I don't text him and ask about this plan which is the ONE passive aggressive thing I do all weekend and I'll be the first to admit it was childish! I let my anger get the best of me.

He's pissed we went out to eat without him, starts texting me on his way home, mean and cursing. I tell him I was bringing him food and we planned on having dessert together and he's just pissed. He says he's in no mood and isn't going. I tell him, "If anyone should be in mood it's me but instead I'm enjoying my weekend and making the best of it!"

I get home and the immature behavior escalates to grand proportions! He's watching tv with my BS9, my BD's are hanging in their room and I'm doing laundry and cleaning up. Had a brief thought to not put his clothes away but decide, nah, that isn't me.
I need to keep being the adult here and put them away. I lay down on my bed to read some steptalk and fall asleep. He comes in, turns the tv on and puts the volume up. I get up and realize my BS isn't in his room. Go downstairs and he's in the bathroom down there. SO had come up and left BS down by himself even though he KNOWS he's scared to be alone in the dark.

I get everyone settled and say to SO, "Look, we both know this isn't about dinner, there's a bigger issue. Do you want to keep arguing or talk about it?" He starts yelling at me about how inconsiderate I am, he would never do that to me and yes it is about dinner and I don't realize it because I don't think about him. From now on he's going to get dinner for just himself and that's what we'll do. Fine.

Nightmare weekend continued into Monday, Day 3:

We get up and he's not speaking to me. He makes coffee and gets his own. Normally he would make mine too. He gets in the shower at the exact time BS usually gets in. They worked out a shower schedule because of timing and hot water. SO knows that BS needs a shower to get moving on Mondays especially or he's a bear for me. He leaves for work and literally says "Have a good day BS9." Nothing to me and slams the door behind him.

Wow, I feel a little better after typing that all out. SO can't possibly leave the weekend go by with me being hurt by SD14's bahavior. God no! He just HAS to make sure and turn it on me. Yet another weekend where SD acts how she wants with zero consequences. And I sit here the bad guy.

I'm so fucking pissed off. And hurt at the same time.
God help you if you read this. My counselor is moving out of state and I haven't found another one yet. I have no one to vent to. If you made it to the end of my novel I should send you my copay. Lol