The Psychologist's Report
Several months ago, several weeks before she deployed, but while we were in the throes of court drama, BM declared that SS (6.5 at the time, but has since turned 7) was depressed and anxious, based on him biting his own arm in the car one evening. This was self-harming behavior and he needed comprehensive psychological testing ASAP. Testing was done this summer and the results were due today.
Minimal anxiety, no depression. Apparently our answers on the assessments were VASTLY different from BM's, so the doctor wants to rule out high functioning autism/aspergers with a new assessment from the teacher. Hubby said that the observations were pretty on point. SS is reading at a higher level than we expected, which is good! He thinks his speech is OK, which I disagree with, but whatever.
Bottom line? SS is fine, BM is full of $h*t, just like always.
The only issue of note is that there has to be a p*$$ing contest over every stupid appointment! Since BM is deployed, DH agreed that SF can be in medical appointments, and if we ever get the court order, it will state that. The language is "when the mother is deployed, the SF can participate." DH got there this AM, and they wanted BM to Skype in for the meeting *and* have SF. DH had to muster all his chutzpah and say no, she skypes in or he attends, but not both. Apparently, SF blustered around about his court order and such. Thing is, we don't have a signed order yet, so they can't really do anything!
I feel frustrated for DH, though. I honestly think that BM expects him to co-parent with SF, and that's just not reasonable. I don't know what to do to support him with that, though. Any ideas?
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It *is* a way to keep the
It *is* a way to keep the drama high. BM wants to be in control, so that's how she's doing it while she's gone. She doesn't trust DH. Her DH abandoned one of his bio-children, but DH, who has never been anything other than diligent and responsible can't be trusted, so SF has to be there.
We know how ridiculous this all is, but there's nothing we can really do. I keep thinking that maybe I should show up to all skid appointments, too. I'm sure she would love that (in the most sarcastic sense of the word).
Well, A) I can't do that, it
Well, A) I can't do that, it would be DH's decision and
That's not what they agreed to when she sued him in January to restrict his access to the skids and then had SF sue DH for custody in May. He agreed to allow SF to have BM's custodial time (about 60%) and that he could participate in medical visits when she is deployed.
That's done, and there's nothing that can be done now except stick to the terms of the agreement (which isn't a CO at this point because the judge hasn't signed off yet).
I agree with you that regardless of anything, SF has no legal right to these kids. Under the law, he has no more standing than a babysitter. The problem is that BM and SF are making it very difficult for DH to enforce what was agreed. They want to push the limits every.single.time., and neither of them has any compunction about making a scene.