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What is the point?

neveragain's picture

Submitted by neveragain on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 10:50am

Things have changed quite a bit regarding COs and visitation. I can't figure out for the life of me what is the point of the NC picking up their kid for 2 hours on a weeknight, for instance. Doesn't this just create a lot of uneccesary shclepping around for everyone concerned? Isn't it harder on the kid to get picked up, eat dinner, and then go home? Is it really for the kid's sake or for the parents?

Comments

RaeRae's picture

Submitted by RaeRae on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 10:57am

I don't get this either. Gladly, it was not written into our CO. Kids need routine, and this just cuts right into their routine of school, homework, relax/family time, dinner, bath... it's completely unnecessary. It's for the NCP to feel they are more involved with the child so their feelings don't get hurt. But totally disruptive for the child.

overit2's picture

Submitted by overit2 on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 11:08am

I agree...my kids have never seen their dad that one weeknight for a couple hrs. He lives 45 min away now..30 min before-it just didn't make sense. Especially with schedules and gas prices it's not really feasible.

NOW-if they live w/in 5-10min max I can see making an effort to see them during the week, otherwise any more distance then that doesn't seem feasible for any of the parties involved.

overit2's picture

Submitted by overit2 on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 11:51am

LOL-I see your point...but sometimes visiation is forced also. I have to "force" my kids to see their dad even if they don't want to becuase it is imperative to me they have a relationship w/their dad...and that maybe one day they will thank me for ensuring they did spend time together-even when they didn't want to...

BUT I totally see your point about the weekday thing-which is why i never fussed on it really...it wasn't feasible when living 30 min away..again...if you are w/in very close vicinity-max 10 mins say...I think it's a good idea as dad can learn how to do homework w/the kid and be involved in school stuff..but otherwise it doesn't make sense

stpmom2b's picture

Submitted by stpmom2b on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 11:17am

We do that now. 3 hours on 2 weeknights. BM takes classes so we would rather have them than have them with a babysitter. It is odd but they love seeing us during the week. As they get older and busier I can see it changing but for now it's working well.

PrincessFiona's picture

Submitted by PrincessFiona on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 11:19am

While I think it's tough with all the trading off, a child needs both parents, needs contact with both parents. It's a consequence of divorce, a necessary evil. I prefer a longer visitation but for some that works.

MamaBecky's picture

Submitted by MamaBecky on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 1:35pm

We do the midweek thing with SD5. Two weeks is to long to go without seeing your child. I think it is definitely feasable when you live within the same city/town. When things arrise and we cant go to the midweek visit we can always tell. When we pick up SD on our next weekend she is more clingy and needy. She misses us to much. It may be inconvenient for you as the CP but who cares. Dont your children love there NCP? Dont they miss him? Dont they love the time with him regardless when it is and for how long? It wont affect your routine if you make it part of your routine. Those days may have to be different but they can still be routine and scheduled. Our SD5 does very well and definitley benefits from midweek visits.