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Can I point it out?

New Mama's picture

Submitted by New Mama on Wed, 02/08/2012 - 9:29am

In anticipation of SS7 and my therapy session today, I'm wondering how much I will get to actually say.

Can I point out that our 7 year old takes more time and attention than our 1 year old?

Can I point out that our 1 year old, who has a vocabulary of a dozen words, has better manners than our 7 year old?

Can I point out that I don't make our 7 year old do anymore than I ask my 1 year old? Our 1 year old has to clear her plate from the table, pick up her toys before bed, brush her teeth, take a bath, etc. And she manages to get it done without whining, crying, complaining, and throwing temper tantrums every damn night. She's 1. He's 7. You can do the math.

Can I point out that I was (like SS7) abandoned by a parent and that doesn't mean I'll let him get away with being rude and disrespectful to me?

Can I point out that I was disrespectful to my step-father ONE time and my mother knocked me out of my chair for it? And that I was in my 20's at the time? And SS is 7 and gets away with it?

Can I point out that DH is a guilty dad because BM abandoned him and (for a few years) so did he?

Can I point out that I don't think SS7's "show off" "I have to be the center of attention" "I don't care if I'm interrupting" attitude is cute? That I actually think it's rather annoying?

Can I point out how much I hate being a step-mom because (unlike being just a thankless job like it is to be just a mom) it's and thankless, loveless and disrespected job?

Can I point out that SS7 is on a path to prison for the rest of his life and I seem to be the only one concerned about it?

Can I point out that this will be the most uncomfortable session because I fear that the therapist will think SS7 is so "cute" and I'll be the wicked step mom - just like everyone else sees it?

Comments

DeeDeeTX's picture

Submitted by DeeDeeTX on Wed, 02/08/2012 - 9:48am

I would even take a list of these concerns in, on a piece of paper, and ask to read them all off while the therapist listens. Otherwise, sometimes at doctors and therapists, I forget what I am going to say, or only get to half of it, etc.

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Wed, 02/08/2012 - 9:50am

HMM. I don't think you should point out the difference in your kid vs skid. (IF SKID IT THERE TO HEAR IT!) Only because it might start a BIG resentment in skid to your kid. KWIM?

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Wed, 02/08/2012 - 10:04am

YOu can start out with "I'm CONCERNED that SS7 is unable to wipe his ass whereas BD1 can"

That "sounds" better.

DeeDeeTX's picture

Submitted by DeeDeeTX on Wed, 02/08/2012 - 10:13am

Good idea, but I've found sometimes the nicer you are with these therapists, the more they misinterpret. Like, if you said you were concerned, a lot of therapists I've known will say, "oh, there's no reason for concern! Just give the child your attention, love and kisses, and they'll get over it eventually."

Whereas if you simply say, "this behavior is intolerable and unacceptable, and quite frankly, I can't and won't deal with it," they get more upset, but sometimes have more constructive solutions.

I guess it depends how much being honest is worth to you, and your reading of the situation. That's just my two cents dealing with counselors.