New Mama's Blog
Smiles were much more difficult that anticipated.
Our therapist asked me, on Wednesday, to smile at SS7 more this week. Which DH and I both made a point of doing.... err, at least we tried.
However, SS7 was in trouble at school all day Thursday. So DH punished him after school and smiling at him just seemed wrong after that.
Friday, I worked late and didn't make it home until the kids were in bed. DH said SS7 was "sick" (translates: I don't want to eat my veggies and if you make me I'll force myself to throw up on the plate and cry until you let me go to my room) at dinner so he sent him to bed early, like at 5pm.
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More Smiles Needed.
I can admit when I'm wrong. And yesterday, I over reacted about having therapy with SS7.
Therapy was great and not torturous like I thought it would be. Our therapist didn't take sides and didn't tell me I'm an evil step-mother. She was actually very gentle and caring.
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Stewing in my own fury.
Our therapist asked that only SS7 and I attend so she can work with us to help us attach and bond. She suggested that I put lotion on his hands at night, spend extra quality time with him this week, and be very positive with him this week.
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Can I point it out?
In anticipation of SS7 and my therapy session today, I'm wondering how much I will get to actually say.
Can I point out that our 7 year old takes more time and attention than our 1 year old?
Can I point out that our 1 year old, who has a vocabulary of a dozen words, has better manners than our 7 year old?
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To Therapy. Or not to Therapy.
Last night I was fully prepared to put our behavior sticker chart and rules/punishments in full force. I was ready for a battle.
But I got home and DH was there waiting. We sat down, talked about the rules calmly, changed a couple of them, and then we both signed an agreement saying we would abide by these rules/punishments for SS7. DH was also pleased that I had come up with the behavior sticker chart for us to praise all of the positive things SS7 while he's home.
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We have a plan. Cross your fingers for us!
SS7 spent the weekend at his grandparent's house and will be home today. As usual, my anxiety about his return started last night and has continued througout today.
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Superbowl alone?
I got lucky and SS7 went to his grandparent's house to ruin their weekend instead of mine. Otherwise, I'd be hiding in my bedroom watching the game with BD1. DH always cooks a ton of delicious food and I love being out here with DH and BD1 and not having to worry about SS7 whining, complaining, refusing to eat, demanding attention, stealing BD1's toys, etc. It's so peaceful.
I'm wondering, how many steps are letting their DH's watch the game with their evil spawn while they're hiding in a room alone? Or not watching the game at all?
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A stress free weekend??
DH asked if I want him to keep SS7 around for the weekend or send him to grandparent's house. Initially, I said we should keep him around so we can work on bonding and being positive. After arguing last night and this morning, I told DH that I need a break from the drama and that SS7 should go to the grandparent's house. DH agreed.
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If DH was the A+ parent he claims to be we wouldn't be in this mess.
During our parent teacher conference, SS7's teacher asked us to continue working with SS7 on his school work and behavior - they've seen significant regression in both areas.
During therapy, DH and I agreed to focus on the positive and let some of the negative things SS7 does go. Specifically, she told me to try to bond with SS7 and told DH to butt out and stop intervening everytime I'm with him.
UPDATE.... DH sticks to his mantra "He's not that bad."
DH and I met up with his teacher and principal yesterday to discuss SS7's behavior. DH was 10 minutes late, which, I believe is rude and drives me crazy since it's his son and not mine. UGH!