First off, Happy New Year everyone!

I gave you guys a little insight into my situation last week. To summarize it once more, I'm a newlywed (4 months!) and a new stepmother to two girls, ages 7 & 10. I have been in their lives for a little more than 2 1/2 years now. BM left their dad, has remarried and moved on. However, she can't seem to deal with the fact that her ex has also moved on and is now spending his life, happily, with me. I have to see her on numerous occasions - school functions, dance, soccer practice & games. Get this, when I take the girls to soccer practice, she shows up and sits and watches the entire time, like I'm not capable of looking after them. She stands right on the sidelines, only a few feet away from me, and will not speak - she acts as if I'm not even standing there. Then when practice is over, they get in the car with me and we leave and she does the same - how weird is that?? It's so uncomfortable. And that's how it is every time I see her. I tried to talk to her at one point, but she let me know that she would not have any dealings with me, only with the girls' father (MY husband). But I digress.

From my husband's perspective, looking back, he is disgusted that he wasted so many years with her. She's such a rude, selfish, jealous person and he is the complete opposite. She is very bossy and unpleasant - she tried to rule every move he made. So when she left him, even though it was for another man, he was relieved! Ever since the split, he has only dealt with her in regards to the children, and it has always been civil.

Well, I was recently checking our e-mail at home and there was a message from BM sitting in the inbox. I thought it was just something to do with the girls, so I opened it. To my surprise, it had nothing to do with them. It was a story that was recently printed in our local newspaper about a sports record from back in my husband's days in high school and he was specifically referenced. She had e-mailed the story to our house (which we had already seen) and had some cutesy little comment about how he is still making history twenty years later and blah blah blah. I thought this was so weird - especially since they don't have that kind of relationship, where they carry on like this. In fact, I won't lie, I was pissed. I know how vindictive and conniving she is, so it sort of felt like she was throwing their history in my face - like saying "I was the one who was with him 20 years ago" type thing.

Thankfully, my husband fully agrees and backs me up 100%. So he sends her a quick e-mail back that simply said:

I would appreciate it if you would not send anymore e-mails to this house that do not have anything to do with K & C. There is no need for any other kind of communication between us if it doesn't have anything to do with them. Thanks.

Did that solve the problem? Not at all. The very next morning, she had her new hubby call my hubby to talk about this e-mail and find out who really sent it because she was just too upset to talk about it. Like I would have sent the e-mail pretending to be my husband?? My hubby told him that he has always been civil with the BM when it comes to the girls, and he will continue to be, but that he would not tolerate BM treating me like I don't even exist and then sending friendly e-mails to him acting like they are best friends. He flat out said "she will not treat my wife like crap and then try to be nice to me". He also stated that they aren't married anymore and the only thing that ties them together are the girls, and that is the only reason he speaks to her now. Period. So that should have been the end of it, right? Think again. About a week later, we had this e-mail sitting in our inbox:

I realize you spoke with M last week about the e-mail you sent, but I wanted to mention it to you, too. Reading it really hurt me. Not necessarily because of the relationship you and I had. But because it was as cold a response as I've ever received from anyone about anything, let alone a harmless e-mail about a harmless subject. I was always of the belief we should be civil to one another and maybe even friendly. I happen to think it’s important for the girls. It's obvious that you couldn't care less about that now. It baffles me to realize you could be that cold to someone you spent half your life with and have children with. Whether that's how you truly feel or outside influences are causing you to come to this conclusion, it is what it is. As much as I hate the fact that we act as though we don’t even know each other, you won't hear from me unless it deals with the girls.

-C

What is wrong with this woman??? I love the sentence about "outside influences" causing him to come to this decision. Why didn't she just call me by name because it's obvious that is what she was illuding to. You know I wanted to jump into this and send an e-mail right back to her, letting her know what I thought, but I didn't and my husband didn't respond either. He convinced me that she always has to have the last word, so just leave it alone and let it be - he honestly felt like he had gotten his point across.

Even though she has remarried, I don't think she will ever move on. And you would think her new hubby would be a bit concerned about his wife sending e-mails to her ex that are completely irrelevant to the children.

Does anyone agree with me here or did I blow this way out of proportion?