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Face to Face with BM

New Stepmom's picture

I just wanted to updated you all that read my post last week. As a lot of you are aware, BM has never been nice to me in the three years that I have been with DH. She made it very well known that she didn't like me and did not wish to have anything to do with me. So, every time we are in the same place, we just ignore each other - it has been very awkward.

Well last week, she sent me an e-mail extending the olive branch - stating that other mothers & step-mothers get along and she didn't see why we couldn't. She said that from now on, she would be speaking to me when she saw me and wanted to let me know so I wouldn't be shocked.

So yesterday, both SD's were in a dance recital. At the end of the recital, we met out in the lobby to see the girls and BM was there. We said hello to one another and she saw me holding my camera. She asked if we wanted her to take a pictures and I said "sure". She took a picture of the 4 of us together. Then I asked if I needed to take any for her with the girls but she had already gotten all of her pictures taken. We were nice enough and then went about our business. I don't think DH really said more than three words to her. But still, it felt a lot better knowing that we could be civil, versus seeing her and then getting so angry and worked up over her normal bitchiness. I hope this is a sign of good things to come! I was very proud of myself. Smile

p.s. When I got home last night and downloaded the pictures I just had to laugh. You should have seen the look on DH's face in the picture that BM took of us. He has this really awkward smile. When I said something about it he was like "It's hard to smile when I'm looking at her!".

Comments

happy mom's picture

that's hilarious, he must have felt awkward. when we are all in the same place, bm and i don't speak to each other cause my husband is around. when he isn't we speak to each other. i don't know what it is i think it's because i know he doesn't like her being around him. it's good to hear that you guys can carry on a normal fashion when you see each other. i hope that will continue and not fall back to bad times.

-happy mom

Nymh's picture

I can understand him being uncomfortable with both of you there. I don't like it when one of my ex boyfriends is around me and my current boyfriend, and I've never even been married to them OR had any kids! So I can see how it would be a little weird for him.

Congrats on the civility. I hope it lasts! It may be akward at times but it's so worth it when everyone can work together and not have to worry about bitchiness and drama.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Mocha2001's picture

I can only hope that the olive branch I recently extended will result in the same thing with BM. Like you I get worked up over her attitude and bitchiness. I know she is jealous, but that's her problem, not mine.

Funny you mentioned pictures. I regularly send her pictures of some of the things we do with SS (I cut myself out of course) like him learning how to ride his skate board, or going for 2-wheels on his bike, or riding scooter, swimming, tennis, whatever we do together I'm always taking pictures. If there are cool ones of SS then I send them to her. I NEVER get a thank you, and we NEVER get pictures in return. I asked DH if I should stop sending pictures, and he said, "no, I want her to know we don't sit around and watch TV all day. We do things with him." So, I said okay ...

But I do hope she accepts my olive branch to meet IRL. If she doesn't, I have a 4-page letter drafted to send to her ... so either way ... I'll get out what I want to say. LOL.

~ Katrina

OldTimer's picture

I can understand that. Took 7 yrs for my SS's BM to be civil with me. My SD's BM has so far been okay too, so I'm am totally thankful... thought I was heading for another 7 yrs with another bitchy BM too! LOL.

I hope it continues! But the way I look at it, smile smile smile, be cordial and polite, but I will never trust them if it started out bad. If it was great from the get go, fine and dandy, but I tell you, it's really suspicious to me when all of a sudden, you didn't give me the time of day before and now you want to bury the hatchet... okay what's the bottom line, why now? LOL. I don't know... makes me nervous when they start to play nice. LOL.

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

New Stepmom's picture

Yes Step Mom, it is way fishy! I accepted the olive branch and will do my part to be friendly and civil, but I will never let my guard down. For three years, BM has acted like I didn't exist and then after we all had it out over something concerning the kids, she sends me this e-mail, trying to play nice? Yes, it's very hard to not be skeptical of that. I guess we'll see! It is nice to finally get along for a change - like last night, she called and I answered the phone - instead of automatically asking to speak to DH, she actually said "Hey New Stepmom"...I just hope it lasts.

And congrats on the wonderful weekend you had with SD. That was such a lovely story!