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Not doing another damn thing!!!

newbiemommy's picture

So I had a conversation with my SO about everything I do and have done for his kids. From caring for them to paying for things to literally cleaning up their pee on a nearly daily basis. His comment, "I dont see the big deal. If something needs to be done you SHOULD do it. And I don't ALWAYS get a thank you for doing normal stuff." No matter what I said our how I sliced it he didn't see how cleaning up pee or spending money on his kids was going above and beyond at all.
So my solution... I'm saying thank you for EVERYTHING. Literally rubbing every little thing he does in his face with a big THANKS BABE. AND, I'm not doing SHIT else for his kids. I'm not going to stop what I'm doing with SD10 because she is making real progress and I'm starting to not cringe at the sight of her most of the time. As far as anything extra for her shes sol til her dad pulls his head out of his arse.
The REALLY f'd up thing that he did this weekend, his car broke down and he needed a credit card for his road side assistance. Suddenly he's calling me "my wifey" this and that to total strangers and he's again driving MY car after he had already driven it for 3months I just got it back from him last week. But GU (golden uterus) STILL doesn't doesn't know about me OR our daughter. And of course he will be taking MY car by himself to go get kids from GU. Oiy. The things I put up with for this man! Dont worry I'm sure theres going to be a big ugly fight over this one.
I sure hope he has fun doing all the grocery shopping, cleaning, finding them things to do, ect. Oh and we are ALL stuck in for the weekend because like hell is he taking my car anywhere but to get them without me. And the ONLY reason I have to allow that is it doesn't have near enough room for everyone.

Comments

ms.blessed.n.distressed's picture

Wait BM doesn't know about you or your DD??!!!!!!!! I'm sorry to be so blunt but wtf r u doing with him still?!!! That's not even ok. Sounds to me that something fishy is going on. Why else would he be hiding you and your DD from his EX?? That is so wrong on so many levels. Not only is it wrong but he's letting everyone know esp BM that u and your daughter are not important enough to him to tell ppl u guys exist. And u r allowing it. I would've never stood for that and I've put up with a lot. That would be the end for me. Jmho.... I wish I could smack ur bf for his selfish ways. I'm sorry. This must all hurt u beyond belief...

Doubletakex3's picture

Yowza. It sounds like he's had his cake and ate it too, but you're the one with the upset stomach. I'm sorry but he really sounds like a jerk. I'm sure there are redeeming qualities but...

Why in the world does he hide your existence?! I can't think of any justifiable reason.

I'm sorry he's being such a jerk. It sounds like you are doing the right thing by backing off and not giving him the benefit of your generosity that he's clearly taken advantage of. Make him earn it back by showing you respect and demonstrating maturity & gratitude.

Hugs.

skylarksms's picture

Tell HIM the things HE "should" be doing!

1. Parenting his OWN children
2. Playing maid to his OWN children
3. Buying groceries for his OWN children
4. Cleaning up his OWN children's PEE
5. Getting his car fixed so he isn't using YOURS
6. Telling his EX he has another CHILD with another WOMAN WHO ISN'T HER!!

Disneyfan's picture

It sounds like he's using you. Some men are just jerks.

How can BM not know about you and BD? I'm sure the kids told her you were both there during the visit. I'm sure she asked SO about you? He had to tell her something.

smileygirl's picture

:jawdrop: BM doesn't know about you or your daughter!?!?! I've put up with just about everything at one point or another but how the hell is that okay and how has he even pulled that off? My SS's tell BM every little thing that happens...hiding humans wouldn't be possible. This is beyond disrespectful. Bottom line, I would be introduced to the BM and she would be told about my DD or he would be walking to his new home alone.

Auteur's picture

He's hiding from the BM b/c, like GG (the biodad I live with) he's scared shiteless of her! And he's afraid of "losing" his crotchdroppings to her if she finds out he's moved on.

File under "having my cake and eating it too"

I'd seriously REconsider this one sided "relationship."

newbiemommy's picture

Ok I probably should have made sure I had some of the back story on this post. GU took his younger kids 2 and 4 for almost 2 years and went to another state where he had NO contact with her while me and our daughter came into the picture. She suddenly decided to prance her little ass into my picture and our first visit was the weekend before last and this will only be the second visit. Skids could have cared less I was there and had no clue who DD was. Even though my SO tried to reiterate it everything was to new and they were too young to understand.
Im NOT excusing his behavior at all!!! He should have told her the second they were talking again. But that's how hes managed this one. SD10s BM Icky knows and has known about me. HER kids tell my SD10 that they want to come home with her and her new mom. Whenever they see me they beg me to take them with my SO and I.

newbiemommy's picture

I would LOVE for my SO to get his nuts back from this evil witch!!! THIS IS NOT the guy I met who lets this thing run his life. She says jump he asks how high.