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Kicking out In-laws

newbiestepmom25's picture

Submitted by newbiestepmom25 on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 8:19am

The after math of yeaterdays pot luck. In case you didn't read my blog yesterday I found SS with his finger in my apple pie filling after digging in his butt after I told him to wash his hands. Then I sent him to DH and an hour later he came back in the kitchen asking what S-H-I-T spells and I said its a bad word he kept asking so I said go ask your father (DH). Then FIL came stomping in the kitchen yelling at me telling me what I should have done, and that it is my job to parent SS not just DH's. Then he went in the living room and started talking crap about me to MIL and my mom yelled at them to stop it. After some great advice from {dtzyblnd}-thanks :). I asked my mom to take SS to the park for a few minutes. I went outside and Told DH what happened and He walks in and says " You don't come in my house and disrepect my wife you are my parents and I love you but I am going to have to ask you to leave". MIL's mouth about dropped to the floor and she started crying saying she never liked me that how dare he choose me over his family. Then FIL chimed in about how I am a horrible Stepmom and don't know how to be a parent worth crap. I yelled at them its time to GO!. Then DH said That's enough I love you guys but she is my family now as well and I will not let you come in here and disrespect her its time to leave. Then MIL says " well we will leave the baked ziti cause SS5 loves it and he should atleast have one good thing to eat". I wanted to strangle her. Then FIL just starts yelling and cursing at DH. My brother walks in and says do you guys need help leaving I beilive they asked you to go. Then they started walking away and FIL pushed DH and called him a pathetic excuse for a man. DH said I respect you enough to not hit you back and I love you enough to not insult you good bye. So they left and we eneded up having the potluck with DH, ss5, Ds , my brother and his girlfriend and My mom, my dad who showed up 3 hours later from work and we watched the All-Star game and had a good old time.

Comments

MJL2010's picture

Submitted by MJL2010 on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 8:58am

OMG, how stressful. I'm sorry that this happened to you. Reading your post brought back feelings of my former in-laws- exFIL is verbally abusive to his wife and to his son. He's the emotional age of maybe 7. Brutal. I am so glad that your DH asked them to leave and made sure that he acted with respect and dignity.

HungryEyes's picture

Submitted by HungryEyes on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 9:43am

Good for your DH. He responded just the way he should have. Anything less and I would be out the door!

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 9:51am

Horrible IL's suck. I have ones that are not allowed in our home. DH knows it and understands. He has stood up to his mom, plenty. His Dad is great, but has no backbone. I am so glad they moved across the country so it is a non-issue.

Good job on your DH having your back. I would just no longer welcome them in your home. Mine have not been here in 4 years and they are not asking to come back. We get "psycho mail" from her and just read, laugh and throw away. DH calls his Dad all the time. They have a code, he calls when she is out of the house and then leaves a VM and DH calls and lets it ring. He makes an excuse and leaves and calls DH. Totally nuts, but it works for them.

DH is planning on visiting them this summer and BS17 and I are taking a trip somewhere else. I do not want to go. I would love to go visit DH's hometown, but they are a package deal, so it is not happening.

whatwasithinkin's picture

Submitted by whatwasithinkin on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 9:54am

This is so sad. My inlaws cant stand me either.

Ready for this. I had a diary on a private paid websight. I liked their fb page and one ofmy sis in laws saw it. She had a diary on the same sight. Can we be friends...no sorry Ive had that diary from 2000 and my whole life is in there.

She searched that sight for a year and a half through thousand upon thousands of diaries. My fault I had nothing locked down as private. Hell id been there for 11 yrs and noone knew. She gave the whole family access.

Needless to say, dh knew how i felt abt his family but i had bit the bullet for him, until they invaded my private thoughts and life.

My diary has never been mentioned to him but they certainly took aim at me.

One good thing came out of it. I have had to see those wretched people ever again. And they have never set foot in my house again

bi's picture

Submitted by bi on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 10:32am

don't you love how people snoop and then think they have the right to be pissed at you for how you FEEL? stick your nose up someone's ass and you might find some shit there. it's their own fault for being so concerned with your innermost thoughts. you do not owe anyone an apology for having feelings. i'm glad you don't have to deal with the toxicity anymore.

bi's picture

Submitted by bi on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 11:48am

i don't understand that way of thinking. i love my son dealy, and yes it will suck when i have to release him to the world. however, i want him to find a woman who loves him and who will always be there for him, as someday he will be in the world and i won't. i don't want him to be completely alone with no one to love him or take care of him when he's old. i guess i just don't have a selfish heart.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 12:01pm

Exactly. That is what is supposed to happen. The parent/child relationship evolves and eventually shifts.

LittlePanda's picture

Submitted by LittlePanda on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 10:13am

Wow..that must have felt REALLY great!! Good job, good job DH!

We have been there with my husbands parents and family too....don't worry, eventually they will come around, but, don't ever trust them as far as you can throw them. Obviously.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 10:15am

how dare he choose me over his family

I will never understand this argument. If you ask my husband who his family is, he will say, "hereiam" without missing a beat. Isn't that the way it is supposed to be?

So, by their logic, MIL and FIL are not really family to each other since they are just married and not "blood" related, right? Are a certain number of years together required? Children born? Why do people like this think they can so easily disregard and disrespect their son's/daughter's spouse or SO? In their own home, even!

Then FIL chimed in about how I am a horrible Stepmom and don't know how to be a parent worth crap

Yeah, 'cuz he's parent of the year.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 12:12pm

In my opinion, people using that argument are just using it as an excuse to treat a family member like crap. 'Cuz it's ok if it's BLOOD. They'll forgive me 'cuz I'm BLOOD. Whatever.

StarStuff's picture

Submitted by StarStuff on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 12:58pm

I was just wondering what became of your situation. I'm sorry that you had to go through that and all the stress involved. I would have dumped her damn ziti in the garbage right in front of her! I'm so glad that your DH stood up to his parents for you, as he should have! It's great knowing that he's got your back.