This isn't exactly stepchild related but I thought I'd ask nonetheless. My SO has been divorced for over 6 years. Although the marriage was faltering for some time he didn't really see it coming when his wife asked for a divorce. Shortly before that he lost the job that he absolutely loved and was forced into a career switch which led him to living abroad for the past two years. I know that in his current position he is not fulfilling his potential. Since his divorce he has had two serious relationships including ours. We are happy and committed to one another and have both been very vocal about our desire to make this relationship last. He has 2 teenage boys and I am the only woman they've been introduced to. Finally, since moving back to the US nine months ago he has been very nonchalant about his living arrangements, "renting" one of his friend's unoccupied homes. I must explain that this man in the past has been such a proud homeowner. I have seen two of the houses he has owned, one of which he was building himself as a surprise for his ex before knowing she was filing for divorce.
I say all of this because I feel like he has lost his drive since his whole world came crumbling down six years ago. To me it seems like a long time and I do believe that he has moved on from his wife and his home and his job but I feel like he has lost the desire to attain that level of happiness again. I care about this man very much and even on a platonic level want to help him overcome whatever it is that is preventing him from beginning a new, fulfilling life. I get the feeling that he has had the wife, the house, the job, the 2.5 kids and because of that he feels he can die happy, any additional successes in his life are bonuses. There is no sense of urgency for him to reestablish his life. Whereas I am in the opposite boat and as someone who wants to spend my life with him it sometimes feels like I am the only one in this relationship with excitement and drive. What I am saying is that it's not that he doesn't WANT these things, he just doesn't want to work for them like he had to 20 years ago.
Has anyone else encountered this? Is there anything I can do to help him realize his potential and support him in finding happiness again in all aspects of life?