My current hell
I truly loathe my stepdaughter. The back story this whole freak show of an 11-year-old is her parent's fault. I probably could deal more with her if my husband and her neglectful mom actually gave a damn. She was the most unattractive child I have ever met. Let us not forget about the attitude to match. She would ask her dad to wipe her butt still at 7. Mind you I am a mother of 4 boys and I thought they were gross, not even a comparison. Less than a year of her father and I being together, her mom asked could she stay with us. I reluctantly said yes. I had no idea at the age of 8 she already had been kicked out of 5 traditional schools. This troll had the school calling me not her father about her outburst in class, lack of hygiene and so forth. I tried so hard with her and everything failed. Because she is a failure. Her dad felt her actions were because of her wanting attention. Her mom was just happy to have her gone. Luckily her father and I broke up. When I tell you while I missed him the thought of her made me never want to get back with him. Fast forward two years and we got back together. Wouldn't you know it her mom wanted her to come to stay with us again? I put my foot down and said no. I told him that unless both of them respected me and who I was in her life absolutely not. Also, I have teenage boys and though she is repulsive I wasn't haven't her in my house full time again. Now she is eleven, size 22, weighs 280 lbs, 5'5 and dumb as shit. She is the most inarticulate child. Teachers constantly call talking about her odor and personality. The teacher was fired because she told my stepdaughter she was ugly when she cried. Based on this post you would never think of all the things I have tried to improve this child's life. When we have her, I keep us active. Constantly try to improve her self esteem. But nothing works. The sad thing is I will divorce him if she ever stays with us full-time again. It's not fair for me to try so hard and then get told I am interfering. So I have backed off. The thought of what I am interfering boggles me. Now my husband is upset because I rarely ask about his children. Seriously! My husband adores my kids. I assume because they are well mannered, educated and can walk around the block without crying. He also knows when it comes to discipline my ex and I have that covered. He is a happy stepparent. I am in hell.
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Sounds like hell. Do you
Sounds like hell. Do you really think that your SO will side with you? Even if they promise to respect you, that promise can be an empty one. I'd tell SO no way is she moving in. Let biomom take care of the nasty, malororous kid.
So true
Truthfully hell was the first time and every single time I was her shit stained underwear and have to listen to her cry when I don't feed her endless amounts of sweets. I am already shutting down because I will be tormented by her this weekend.
Your husband is just as nasty
Your husband is just as nasty and disgusting as his daughter. How you can stand to be around, much less touched by a man that clearly doesn't give two shits about his child is mind boggling.
Your SD's mom isn't the only trash in this situation. Your husband has place in the trash bin right next to BM.
Can't say I disagree
Do I feel my husband is part of this horrible mess? Absolutely! He is the good time dad. Not the dad in the trenches of hell when shit goes south. He doesn't want to deal with the bad stuff. He wants to enjoy his kids. So not fair. I have talked, rather yelled at him about this often. But here is the thing. What he deals with I have to too. Shit, I feel like this girl needs to be taken away from her mom. But then go where? To our house. With my kids! Hell no! I am sorry actually not at all. I don't want that shit under my roof. I completely agree with you. Hell judge him, I judge him too!
^^^This. 100%.
I will never, ever understand how women can be so critical of their SKs and the BMs and not also make a connection that both are a very DIRECT reflection of the man they are dating/married to.
You obviously skimmed through
Did you read my post? What about my replies? I 00% believe he is just as much to blame as the BM. 100%. Take the time to read before making comments.
What I don’t understand is
What I don’t understand is why you got back together with him in the first place. You knew this child was the result of shocking parenting, yet leapt back into the fire anyways. Why do that to yourself?
You can judge your DH all you want for what he’s helped do to his child (this is absolutely, 100% his fault too), but the reality is it’s unlikely this will ever change. Was there any change in the two years you were apart? My guess is no if you’re still complaining.
Oh there is more!
When my husband and I were broken up I continued to see my stepdaughter. We are an old school family. All the kids were still close and we still spent holidays and at my parent's house. My ex and I stayed in our neutral corners. But outside of the holidays I still spent time with her. She seemed to have grown up, at least that's what she projected. Also, I was hearing through the grapevine she was also excelling in school too. Come to find out excelling for her was not yelling through halls screaming. Excelling was the light smelling like poop odor and not getting kicked out of school. Yet again I was duped. Her behind was on her best behavior around me. She was able to chill out for a couple of hours a month. I wondered was it me bringing out the worse in her. Nope, it wasn't, matter a fact her uncle told me I was the best thing to ever happen to her. That her mom took our break up hard too because she started going back to her past behaviors before I was ever in the picture! I wanted to gauge my eyes out! My husband duped my ass too. Cold part about it, he had his kids every weekend. I am telling you he isn't the typical every other weekend dad. What he is though is the surface dad. Having them on weekends is cute but when her ass would throw tantrums he sent her back home to mom. I would have never gotten back with him if I knew her behavior was worse. He knows that too.
So why don’t you leave him
So why don’t you leave him then? Why were you still spending time with the skids if you weren’t with their father? There is a ton of enmeshment here & you seem to be a part of the problem.
Have you tried counselling?
Valid question
I was part of the problem. I was trying to make up for what my sd was missing, stability. Don't get me started on my ss who I took to go visit colleges only to argue with his dad about how much everything cost. I spent time with her outside of her father because he still kept a relationship with my children when we were broken up too. However, after my husband didn't show any appreciation, I decided to back off. Best decision I ever made. But my hell will start in 3 days when I have to see this troll again. Leaving him..will wait on that. However I 100% know that if I was forced to take care of her again, I would divorce him. I am about to turn 40 and can't imagine starting my new chapter waking up to the actual version of Precious every day of my life. Hell, i can't have play dates with her because she has been banned from the group. Last time I took her to an event she started crying hysterically and pushed two kids to the ground. I truly hate this girl.
I can totally relate to your
I can totally relate to your hell. I have been with my husband for 3 years and we have our own 1 year old daughter. I LITERALLY can not be around her. Her voice, her face, everything bothers me. I hate when she tries to be affectionate or even says a word to me. Her dumb ass mother would interfere with our marriage. She would constantly call him and threaten him to take her away and his idiot ass believed her. During my pregnancy I wanted her dumb ass mother just to take her. My first pregnancy was hell because of them and I will always recent them both. A month before I was to give birth which was supposed to be the best time of my life was ruined by them. Her dumb ass mother finally took him to court and made up so many lies that almost broke up our marriage. Now, he regrets ever putting that situation first. After dumbass decided to take him to court it took one month of testimony and lies for her dumbass to LITERALLY give up her damn daughter. She never even wanted her. not even her own dumbass mom wants her. My husband loves his kids very much, but didn't see how this affected me. For 3 months they followed a custody agreement until there was another incident. This incident finally made my husband and i seperate. A month after I gave birth her dumbass "mom" showed up unexpectedly to our home to threaten me and my newborn daughter. Her daughter lied to her about me. That was my last straw. I left him and moved out. When he realized I wasn't bluffing he decided to give his daughter up to be with me and his newborn daughter. After all that bullshit I had to endure, she realized that she could no longer control him. She has literally not seen her own kid in such a long time. She's a piece of shit "mother" and I LOATHE her kid. She's 8 years old and I still have to teach her to have good hygiene. She eats like an animal and I don't want my daughter learning any of those behaviors. She annoys me so much. I hate her so much. I want her dumbass mother to come and take her for good. I was so happy when it was just my husband and my daughter.