SS Soccer Party
My SO is the coach of his 6 yr old son's soccer team. Biomom signed him up and found out that she could get her money back if my my SO coached (we didn't know this at the time, my SO and his ex were fighting at the time and he thought she was trying to be civil and that is why she asked him to coach - should've known she had some motive about it that benefited her - stupid us.) Regardless, she missed my SS very 1st game which is crazy to me cause I couldn't imagine missing my son or daughter's very 1st game to their very 1st sport they ever played. Anyways, I was the one who went to the meet and greet to hand out the kids jerseys and water bottles to all the new teammates before the season started with my SO and SS. I didn't miss a practice, let alone any of his games for thr 1st half of the season.
Well Biomom found out that I was going and so she decided that she was going to start going to every game. So I stopped cause we DO NOT get along and it is her son's soccer games. I left it alone. Well now come tomorrow is the soccer picnic cause the season is over. It's at a park so I was gonna bring my kids. BS2 and BD4months and my SO said that he would rather me not go cause he is FINALLY getting along with his ex and he doesn't want to give her any reason to argue with him. But originally (3 weeks ago) he invited me and said he didn't care if she got mad or not. Now he does? So I will stay home. Whatever. Not gonna argue about it.
Should I be upset? Cause I am.
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I would be ready to show up
I would be ready to show up with my children any way just out of sheer spite...but then again iam pretty spiteful lately and spitting nails at just about any indiscretions but no I don't think it' at all unreasonable to be upset at all
Hell yes!!!
I would be beyond upset , my husband(he coach my SS and SD as well) stopped telling his ex wife when games are being held , he just tell her the sundays that she have custody, because he rather for me to be ok than his ex. She can go and see them play on her days . He got fed up with all the drama she carried around every time she showed up to a game . I'm the wife, (you are the wife as well that also has kids with him ) so I think you deserve more than the ex .
I would be livid. And upset.
I would be livid. And upset. Your DH's priorities are VERY screwed up.
I would be irritated with him
I would be irritated with him, but you did set up a precedence that you would be out for the sake of peace before. You’ve shown him the path of least resistance and now he’s expecting you to keep playing the part. I’m not saying he’s right and I would go, but then again I have never not gone to something to make BM feel less insecure or better about herself. That’s not part of the role I took on. I long ago figured out that it will never matter how cooperative I was for the sake of BM, I would always be the enemy so why should I run myself ragged trying to please someone who is unpleasable? No point. But I can support my husband. I can be there with for my SS so we can build our own memories and he will never doubt that I care about him especially since bm (even with here tier one brainwashing) can’t say I was never there for him.
Your DH should NEVER be okay
Your DH should NEVER be okay being somewhere you aren’t freely welcome. You’re super involved.. you should be there. And your DH should NEVER tell you not to go somewhere, let alone on BM’s behalf.
DH is perfectly ok with
DH is perfectly ok with upsetting you instead of BM. I'd make sure he never made that mistake again .
I am very easygoing, but this
I am very easygoing, but this would send me through the roof. Right or wrong, I would probably completely quit doing for your spouse and stepkid; if I didn't completely leave. This kind of disrespect...I just cannot deal.
me too
Yep, I'm super easy going too and I would have - as OP did - step out of the way for the games themselves. But end-of-season FAMILY picnic when you have been giving up FAMILY time with your DH for training and games? no effin' way. I have coached kids sport and I know what kind of committment that is. My ex, my BS's dad, has showed up to a grand total of two games EVER - then he said it was 'boring'. (And young kids' sport is a bit boring, but that's not the point.)
Even if you weren't around for the 2nd half of the season, you put in time, too - so you're bloody well entitled to that family picnic and BM can eff right off. (Sorry this makes me really angry!)
Agree that you have every
Agree that you have every right to be upset! I hope he feels pretty stupid when the other parents are asking where his wife and other kids are..