Ready to put SS16 on a bus
I feel like I am trapped in my own home. I don't want to live here as long as my SS16 is here. I seriously can't stand him as a person. This is round 2 for me, I already dealt with SD when she was 16 and I don't want to do this again. Basically he is living with us because BM didn't parent him at all and he was getting into drugs and doing what ever he wanted, same crap his sister did 6 years ago and the. Came to live with us for us to "fix". I told my DH I wished we had never met today, I love him with all my heart but I want his kid gone! His children are the most selfish, manipulative, shady people I have ever met in my life. SS16 basically said he could care less if we both died and he didn't t ask to be part of a family so he isn't going to do things we ask him to do unless he agrees with them. My DH got me a weekend getaway for my birthday and we were supposed to go away this weekend, 45 min from where we live. I made arrangements for SS to stay with extended family on my side and he refused to get in the car and go, my DH tried to reason with him and convince him it was not in his best interest to behave this way since he wants to earn our trust and get a DL so he can drive and he didn't budge. Saying that it interfered with his plans for the weekend and we did consult with him about staying elsewhere for the weekend. That we should leave him home by himself, NOT! I hate my life!
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Did you cancel your weekend?
Did you cancel your weekend? If so, that was a big mistake. The kid now knows how much power he has. You should have gone alone and left DH home to deal with his kid. What are his consequences for not going?
Yes we canceled, what choice
Yes we canceled, what choice did we have? It was a romantic weekend with couples activities planned, I don't want to be there alone. He can't stay home alone and we can't physically make him get in the car. We have turned off his cell phone and he is grounded but not sure for how long and will also not be getting his DL to drive anytime soon if at all. Like I said we have already been through this type of defiant behavior with my SD who is now 22 and we DH nor I have anything to do with her. SS16 has only been here since June but his pattern is the same so I know living here isn't going to result in any sort of change in him so I say send him back to his creator and let her deal with his ass!
Oh and I'm not doing shit for
Oh and I'm not doing shit for him anymore. No rides, no lunch money ($40 a week so he doesn't have to eat school lunch) he can brown bag it or go hungry. Everything has consequences, and I'm going to introduce hi to the school of hard knox. }:)
How frustrating. Sending you
How frustrating. Sending you hugs and positive energy.
He will have consequences for
He will have consequences for sure that are equitable to the offense. The great part about this is that DH and I are on the same page, we learned our lessons the first time with SD, so SS can't divide and conquer or go running to BM because she is 1800 miles away and she sent him here so we don't have the interference either. Truthfully even BM is better ans it's a team effort, but I don't trust her because she talks out of both sides of her mouth.
2 words.. military school. I
2 words.. military school. I know.. not a viable option but that's the first thing that comes to mind. You'd think BM would have learned to parent SS after SD became a loser.
Yeah you would think that
Yeah you would think that since they are 6 yrs apart and he was 9/10 when she broke bad but BM didn't change her ways and what's worse is allowed him to hang out with his sister and her bf all the time and he now has the same attitude. Oh and they were the ones giving him the drugs. Nice right. As for military school we thought about that and while we could afford it, but it's not worth it to me at $40k a year because I don't think it will make a difference.
Sometimes history repeats
Sometimes history repeats itself. OSS was 10 years older than YSS. YSS was the product of a ONS between DH and BM years after their divorce (both were single though). OSS was a hardcore asshole from an early age - took a gun to school (stolen from a neighbor) in elementary school. Was a criminal gang member involved in everything up to and including murder - mean as a snake. He's now deceased.
YSS - SS30 I think suffers probably from being bi-polar. He certainly inherited a genetic affinity to alcoholism from his maternal grandfather (BM is a teatotaler). His first psychiatric hospitalization was prior to 1st grade. He has extreme rage issues when drunk. He also abuses drugs.
I also think he is an obnoxious self centered asshole - which I am sure stems from insecurity. SS30 was in juvie for 3 1/2 years, has been to jail, went to boot camp and other treatment programs. He's now hooked up with a naïve decent young women who is now pregnant. I honestly don't care what happens there.
ETA - as long as he does not abuse or kill the baby.