And I do believe the circus has come to town..
And I knew it would happen eventually..but dang!!!
Came in last night from work, got started on dinner and DH rolls in.
Said he spoke to SD19. I asked, "She called you?" No...DH called her.. Ok, cool. To discuss what she wants for Christmas. Good grief! Give her 50 bucks and call it done. Why is this a big deal???
My suggestion.."Why don't you pay to get her hair fixed?" (because she looks like shit..)
No, supposedly thats what GMA is doing for her...Oh. Okay.
Then the next sentence>
"I guess SD19 wants to go on VACATION WITH US."
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKK?
So she disappears, has nothing to do with noone, never answers DH's or GMA's calls. Shows up with a box of friggin chocolates and suddenly wants to go on vacation with us?
UHHhhmmmmmmm. THATS A BIG FAT NO!
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I don't understand young
I don't understand young adults wanting to go on vacation with a parent and step parent (who they don't have a great relationship with). She knows that you would rather she not go on vacation with you.
I know they figure, hey, free vacation, but still, just weird to me. It's also weird to me that they expect to go for free, with the parent picking up the tab for them.
He needs to tell her no, just because, but he should also mention that she really can't afford to go on vacation if she's saving for a car. Just to let her know that she's on her own now and would need to pay her own way, even if she were to go on vacation with you.
I'd like to know what your DH said to her when she said that.
Go on vacation where?
Go on vacation where?
That's a big fat HELL NO!!!
That's a big fat HELL NO!!!
Gads, Please tell me your DH is not entertaining this craptastic idea.
Go on vacation where?
DUP*
The conversation ended. I
The conversation ended. I THINK, he was testing me. I'm not even entertaining this idea. Personally, I have been thru hell the last 3 years. Both my parents passed away, dealt with their estate and my 2 asshole brothers, bought and remodeled their home which most days I really regretted. AND cost us a fortune!!!! We're finally getting somewhat back on track and I just want a little down time. Maybe take a few trips, enjoy the house a little and adding in some new projects, etc etc.
This is my take on this. My bios came down to the house at Christmas to help us get the house done as we had Snow Birds arriving in mid-January to rent it. We were in a BIG push and had lots go wrong, learning curves of taking on such a big project and so on. LOTS OF WORK! So the kids came and their "payment" was to go to Disney World and Universal. Which was also their Christmas present as well...
My guess is SD19 more than likely saw these photos on social media and thought WOW, I want to get in on this. I could be wrong, but this is my guess. My kids WORKED for those tickets!!!
My guess is, he is suddenly
My guess is, he is suddenly not remembering the work... just that they got Disney for Christmas and she got nothing. Also...she would have helped toooooo if she was there!
Major eyeroll. If he insists on taking her on vacation, you take a separate vacation and don't let him use your parents house!
My SD17 has just done the same!
We haven't seen her much since Oct 2018, other than to collect her birthday or christmas gifts. Literally in our house 10 mins max each time. Always an excuse why she can't stay.
She put a letter through the post box a few weeks ago and ran away. She was complaining about me not inviting her on holiday with us last year. Previous years she decided if she was coming with us based on what hotel we were staying at, and basically if the destination was worthy of her. Not one thought about spending time with us and her 3 younger siblings. Why on earth would we take her with us when shes not even talking to us! I think the letter was more about making DH feel bad so we invite her this year. No chance!
This sounds very typical of
This sounds very typical of SD19 as well. Especially when I know SD was aware that we were at the house working..Its funny that she suddenly appears after work is complete and now wants to "vacation" with us. Bullshit!!! Last time we went as a family to Disney World I clearly remember her standing in the middle of Animal Kingdom and stated "I'M BORED"...Really? The THOUSANDS we spent on that trip and she's freaking bored. Last time we ever went. I was livid!!!!
Stand your ground
I just don't get the entitled view most our step kids seem to have. Our last trip with SD we went to Vietnam. We stayed in the most amazing resort I've ever been, we had a 2 bedroom suite with private pool right on the beachfront, and all SD could do was complain that she didn't have her own room. Not an option when theres 4 kids.
I've suggested to DH that he take her on a mini holiday by himself. Leave me out of it!
Just say NO
You don't want to have SD around you when on vacarion. You don't need to pay for drama from SD.
why do these snowflakes
think they deserve a vacay? It's not like they have actually worked other than lying on their back.
And how did that subject even come up? DuH is trying to buy her love yet again?
Supposedly she said she
Supposedly she said she wanted to go. I'm trying to figure out what vacation? We have some plans to travel down to the house...Is this the "vacation" she's referring to? DH's parents are going with us in May. Is this when she's planning to tag along? Guess what? There's no room at the inn. This house is small. Dang, go on your on vacation, far far away. Leave me alone.
Maybe the solution is to
Maybe the solution is to always loop these convos back to your H and his daughter doing things together? Take yourself out of the equation and make it JUST about him and his daughter. "Oh yeah DH, you should take your daughter camping. Just the two of you together, so you can work on your relationship". Use his emotional laziness against him.
Many of these men want us there as a buffer. Mine certainly did, and like your H, outsourced most of his parenting. Since the onus is now on my DH and he knows I won't be involved, he hasn't lifted a finger to manage his relationships with his kids.
I totally agree. And I have
I totally agree. And I have done this in the past. I think this is a good start should this come up again.