Seasonal Transition as a cause of family stress
I don't know if someone has posted about this, but in case you haven't noticed ST has been under a lot of stress lately. I think we members are reflecting the stress that is happening in many of our families.
Summertime is transition time in step families and almost all of us experience stress just by the change of the calendar and where skids stay. Skids often act up when they come or go from one parent to another. It takes time for them to adjust to a new house EOW. Summertime is the same way - plus the hormones really kick in during summer vacations.
When I was a kid I thought summer vacations were invented for kids. I had no clue of the agricultural seasons our school year was originally based on. I felt entitled to have a good summer vacation from school - many of you probably did too and our skids are no different from what we were. Many families on ST are under stress because of this seasonal change.
I guess my overall point is that sometimes it's helpful to have a reason we can point to as the cause of our current stress. Sure, we may have ongoing issues with our spouses, but even if they were perfect we would still have the calendar and summer vacations to deal with. It does not matter if your skids come or go from your home at this time of year, it means change and change is almost always stressful.
Maybe we could try being a little kinder to each other since so many families on ST are going through the Summertime Blues. Maybe we would be less likely to jump on each other if we realized that the source of the extra stress some have at this time of year is outside of our control. We can't control when school gets out and I am certain the changes cause major stress in our families both coming and going.
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i agree with you old timer.
i agree with you old timer. since school let out early june, i have been in a funk.
Whatever is going on with the
Whatever is going on with the site, I don't know, but in terms of the summer bringing stress, I agree. Part of why I'm so upset right now is because this is the first summer I'm not working or in school and I'm going to be taking care of the kids during the day. It's really only for 2 weeks, but already, with them out of school for just a week, I'm trying not to lose it. I'm dreading spending time with them because it's just going to mean complaining about being bored and SS11 whining. As I sit here and type in bed he's outside in the hall giving his father attitude. Lovely.
What I don't understand is that my skids are generally well-behaved. They would never think of talking back to their teachers, coaches, or even other adults. But what the hell is it with my SS11 that he does this? Is it just because we let him?
You're right to say that kids think summer was meant for them to have fun and god forbid they are asked to help out with the daily chores that are usually done when they're in school. I guess I thought this, but I also came from a family where my dad would tell us about his life, having his first 'job' at age 4, picking blueberries because he had to help the family. If things needed to be done, we did them. The kids are good enough about doing the things they are used to, but anything new and you'd think I was torturing them.
with today's economy, some
with today's economy, some parents cant afford to give the kids an adventure every day of summer. to adults, summer is still a regular day and regular things have to be done. i know that i dont get to sit around all day. there is still cooking, cleaning, laundry, child-rearing.....everyday stuff. now if i had the money, i would be at some resort where i had room services, and all day to be at a beach or pool or water park with the kids. but i dont, so our options are the park, backyard, or family's houses who have pools. sd can go to her friends houses but she refuses so idk, but kids today in general (not just steps) think the world owes them fun and adventure with no hard work.