It's one of the reasons I resisted moving in, and even said I can't have friends over because of your kids. I also refused to host any work dinners for him if his kids were around. THey have zero social boundaries and have flicked, pinched, and insulted my family and friends that they have been introduced to. No more. I don't make people in my life suffer just because I have to.

I feel the same way. I don't bring the stepkids around my family or friends anymore. I try not to go out with them in public unless it's really important  to DH, and those occasions are rare. I've really disengaged a lot with the step kids too. I don't think you are alone, unfortunately. I'm proud of my bio kids and glad to be seen with them. But not the stepkids. I don't want to be associated with them. They are so annoying, loud, weird, embarrassing, all of it. Like another person mentioned in another post, they could use a personality transplant, lol. I never thought I'd think that way, but I think all of us in this situation get it.

I cannot stand the fact that my kids are half siblings to sullen, spoiled SS12. I console myself with the fact that we are long distance and that they don't see him very much at all- maybe once or twice a year. And that DH doesn't see the need to force or facilitate a relationship between them. 

My skids have these silly switches that would get turned on in the most in appropriate places.  They would feed of each other.  The whole in-law clan would complain about them too but they didn't do much to reign them in.  That are adults now so I don't know if they out grew it but I suspect my OSD and YSS did not.    
 

You have to remember the worst of the worst end up here so you are with kindered souls.  

Their behavior is embarrassing and awful. They have no consequences whatsoever at BMs house so they do what they want and think it's ok.

It's everything from acting up when we're shopping, (they play hide and seek in the stores, they run through the aisles screaming like animals) to the way they behave in restaurants (they snap their fingers at waitstaff, constantly call out for more drinks, attempt to return perfectly good food because "it doesn't taste like it did last time"), to making racist comments ("why are there so many Chinese people in here?!" - we have spoken to them about this more times than I can count, I wanted to smack the shit out of SDteen the last time she did this, I have never wanted to hit a child so badly). Not to mention doing things that put others in danger, like SStween building a "pit of daggers" at the bottom of a slide at the park with sharp sticks!
 

All of this has led to me and DH not taking them anywhere in public, or being very careful and quick. I personally won't take SStween anywhere without DH. They have not met our friends and never will. We take them out, but it's 1-1 with DH, go kick a ball at the park type stuff or go to the beach, find a rather empty spot on the beach where we're not near other people, hiking and fishing are good ones too. DH and I do shopping on our own or with Toddler. Their behavior is disgusting and I am embarrassed that DH and I have to address things that they should have stopped doing long ago or never been allowed to do in the first place. My SD almost takes it as a point of pride how often she gets in trouble at stores when she's out with BM, whether she's making some of it up or not, I don't know or care, I've told her if she's proud of that behavior or how she treats workers and other people, she should be ashamed.

I've been embarrassed before to say that adult ss was my ss. If I have to refer to him it's always said that he is DH's son. I no longer attach any verbiage that would implicate I had anything to do with the way he turned out.  

100x yes, I don't take SKs in public at all anymore. I have even thought about getting a tee shirt made up that says " these are not my children" to wear. 

I make snide remarks all the time. If SKs try to justify their actions and say I wouldn't care if DS did "X" I always say I absolutely would.  I would be embarrassed to have DS behave like he is ignorant and has no manners. 

Be at.

The day i set eyes on Chef's three feral pachyderms.

No way was I raised like that nor any of my family, including my bios.

Yes. It's the 5th and least important reason why I didn't change my last name to DH's - don't want anyone thinking I was related to BM or SS21 - DH's name is relatively uncommon around here.

I'm not embarrassed just to be seen with him, he presents well. But when he was a crap student in high school and being treated by therapists I knew (I'm in the child mental health field), I didn't want anyone knowing I was his stepmother.

I am extremely embarassed of my SD.  She is greasy, has a bad attitude, is awkward all around.  Just not pleasant to be around.  I've mostly stopped taking her around any of my friends or family due to these things.  

This brings up memories for me. LOL

The first time I met the SKs, they were 5 and 7 and we met at the place with the golden arches. DH went up to get the food while I waited with the SKs at a table. The SKs were so out of control that they were belly surfing on the table and both were on top of the table several times. Even other kids were looking at them with the WTF look on their faces. I was gently trying to get the SKs to simmer down, but they just wouldn't. I was appalled at their behaviour. Grocery shopping was pure hell. The SKs would constantly run and bump into people who would then get pissed off. It was humiliating. Even DH admitted that he was embarrassed and started doing the grocery shopping when the SKs were at BM's.

I used to enjoy going out for lunch fairly frequently. DH never took the SKs. I took everyone out for lunch and when the bill came, SS (5 at the time) snatched it and yelled "holy" at the top of his lungs. Everyone turned and looked. I remember promising myself that I would never take the SKs out again. I would never be in public with them again. I was able to accomplish that and I'm sure DH knew. 

At family gatherings (DH's side of the family, thank God!) SD was about 12 and while at the dinner table during TG dinner, she decided to blow raspberries. She was tossing spittle everywhere and I'm sitting there looking really uncomfortable and cringing. My BIL finally lost his shit because DH was not correcting SD at all. She also always wore shoes without socks and would kick the shoes off under the table and sit with one foot up and her legs spread wide open with her flouncy shorts on. You could smell her feet from a mile away. Of course, DH said nothing to SD. Anyway, BIL lost is shit and yelled SD's name and totally reamed her out. Right then and there, DH's family was asking me why I didn't say anything since I looked so uncomfortable and I told the truth. I kept repeating over and over again, "I'm not allowed to say a word. I'm not allowed to say a word. I'm not allowed to say a word." DH's family members were appalled that I was the woman of the house yet I wasn't allowed to say a word to a child who is throwing spit over a dinner table and whose feet stunk very badly and sat like she was awaiting a pap smear at the dinner table. SD sat there with that smug look on her face and DH sat there acting totally oblivious like he does when he can't handle something. He blanks you out if you tell him something he doesn't like, so of course the SK's never got their chains yanked. Then at that same dinner, SD responded to an adult convo that my SIL was involved and stated in her extremely haughty tone, "that's because you're faaaaaaat!" Later DH's family asked what consequences SD got for that and I had to break it to them that absolutely nothing was done.

So, those are the reasons that I was humiliated by my SKs and why I refused to go out in public with them. Oh, and there's the constant staring at people in public too. Or whenever we ran into people the SKs knew like teachers who would warmly greet the SKs and ask them how they're doing and the kids would just stand there staring at the person with a deadpan look. DH would prompt them, especially SD, to say something and nothing. Deadpan continued. 

Yeah, I do not miss those days at all. You better believe I raised DD20 to be the polar opposite of my SKs. I mean DD had her moments but I yanked her bloody chain to rectify them.

Oh and the karma for DH refusing to correct the SKs was the day that DH came home from shopping with the SKs and was humiliated over SS (10 at the time) spotting someone he knew and yelling across the parking lot and pretending to hump the tailpipe of the car. I had to sneak off to go into hysterics at that image and at DH paying the price for never correcting the SKs. There was also the time that SS (proably age 10 or so) hung a moon to a police car with two cops in it driving behind DH and SS. Um yeah. Not my problem. I hadn't been out in public with them in five years. LOL

Yep. I use my maiden name. I stopped bringing them around family. I hate sharing an address with them as when you google my name it comes up may be related to...skids. Also I'm convinced that SS14 is on his way to being on a sexual predator list and he will have to register as a sex offender. At my f'n address??? I told DH no way is a sex offender living in my home.