Am I being cruel? Need advice!
Due to sd8 miniwife behavior and dh constantly making excuses for her crap,I'm mostly disengaged from sd8. I am polite and ask her about her day,but I don't parent her. Dh doesn't like it,but too bad, I need to save my sanity and marriage. Dh and Bs10 are my priorities. During Christmas time I have a tradition where I put up this adorable Christmas village with my son. I can't believe he still likes to do this with me. Last year, I included sd in this tradition,and it was uncomfortable for both myself and bs10. I don't want to be rude,but I want this little tradition just for my son and me to do together. I want to set it up while sd8 is at her mom's. I know that dh will bitch about it to me once he sees we set it up without her. I don't want to do these activities with sd8. She is so domineering and miniwife that I limit my contact with her. I don't want to be hurtful. Any advice?
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EXACTLY! I feel like he tries
EXACTLY! I feel like he tries to shove her down my throat instead of doing his own traditions with her. I don't want to stop doing things the way I do them to accommodate a brat. Dh will make a big deal of this and continue to foster sd8 entitlement."Poor pitiful,mistreated sd8" I will tell dh to start his own traditions with sd8 and stop mooching off of mine!
Right! Why do they push so
Right! Why do they push so hard! Sd8 annoys dh and he gets sick of her ordering him around. He puts her in her place,but next minute he is fetching for her. Dh wants me to adore sd8,but she isn't adorable. Her behavior is gross and regressed.
This is so true. My husband
This is so true. My husband pushes my SD on me all the time and I hate it. The worst is when he tells her, "Give Teas a hug" when he leaves to take her back to BM.
I agree with all this. Do
I agree with all this. Do your own thing. It's up to him to parent and bond with his kid, not you.
Remind him that you find her
Remind him that you find her behavior, thanks to him, unpleasant. You are not trying to exclude her but since he has not taught her to be pleasant nor allowed you to teach her, you are doing the only thing that's left to you. Encourage him to find his own Christmas ritual he can do with her.
Agreed,it is sad that dh is
Agreed,it is sad that dh is too lazy to come up with traditions himself. Easier to shove sd8 over to intrude on mine,as though she deserves to partake in them. I truly think that dh loves sd8,but he is lazy and I'm not. I don't want to enable his nonsense by providing the ideas and materials for him. He has plenty of time to go to the gym and hang with his friends,he can get off his butt and come up with his own activities for him and sd8
Spot on with this! Sd8 wants
Spot on with this! Sd8 wants to call the shots and dominate. Dh told me she is "excited about the village this year" wth! I haven't mentioned it because I have already decided not to include her. Sd8 must be trying to stake her claim already. No,don't think so sd8, this will be done when you are with bm. My son and I want to enjoy it together without her domination and interference.
I don't blame you. The way I
I don't blame you. The way I think about it, your SD does a lot of things without you guys when she's at her mom's house, so why can't you do things without her? Life can't wait for SD to be involved in everything fun.
Exactly! Bm is sort of crappy
Exactly! Bm is sort of crappy and I feel dh wants me to compensate for her,but with no authority! It is not my responsibility to make up for bm crappiness. It is dh's!
SD8 sounds like she's very
SD8 sounds like she's very unlikeable. And I have doubts your DH will never admit his daughter's shortcomings to you or to himself, so that's a tough one. Even if he occasionally concedes his daughter has issues, he's demonstrated he's going to try to pin things on you. Its kind of a defense mechanism I guess.
She may grow out of some of that bratty behavior but probably not all of it.
This is a tough one because SD has really alienated you and if you're like me, you might have trouble hiding your dislike of her.
Its tough I know.