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Dh says we can't go where I want because sd is with bm

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Submitted by onstrike on Wed, 06/07/2017 - 12:42pm

My birthday weekend was this past weekend and so was Bm''. Sd9 was with her mom for her bday and Dh asked what I wanted to do. I really wanted to go to the zoo,I figured it would be fun for bs10 as well. Dh said we couldn't do it because that's something that sd9 would want to be included in on. What the heck!! I told him we could go again when we have her. I didn't end up getting to do what I wanted for my bday with my family. When sd9 got back from her weekend with her mom she told me that they went to the zoo together. I'm fuming. Dh makes me sick. Am I out of line being upset here?

Omg! Am I being unreasonable?

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Submitted by onstrike on Mon, 04/04/2016 - 5:25pm

Ladies,I'm at a total loss for words here and am wondering if I'm overreacting. Sd9 has been out of town for a week and came back yesterday. She came to our house and then to a family party with us. Today Dh came home and said "don't take offense to this hon, but I'm going to take sd9 over to my dads house with me for a sleepover there. His dad is out of town so the house is empty. He said he wants to just spend time with her because he hasn't really seen her for a week. I told him I understand he wants to spend time with her but do not agree with him spending the night away from me.

Dh complaining about my disengagement

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Submitted by onstrike on Wed, 03/16/2016 - 9:35pm

I've been disengaged for a while now and Dh is not happy about it. I'm not rude, I still say hi to sd9 and ask her how her day was, but I no longer shop for her, cook for her, get her little surprises,do things with her,or clean up after her. She is the pickiest eater I have EVER seen, which I think is an attention seeking behavior. She is whiny and embarrassing to be out in public with. A few months ago Dh asked me to shop for these skirts that she likes and I went all over the place to find them. I not only got the skirts but a bunch of other adorable outfits to surprise her with.

So glad to be disengaged

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Submitted by onstrike on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 10:08pm

Smile As I sit here upstairs totally relaxing white Dh deals with sd9 who has been whining like a baby all evening demanding this or that I can't help but giggle at sweet sweet disengagement. It has been my salvation! Sd9 is whining and crying because she wants to wear shorts tommorow and Dh said no. It's going to be way too cold tommorow for shorts. She is crying hysterically as usual. Exhausting drama queen. Dh gets to endure all of it.

Sick and Tired of sd8 looking like a ragdoll!

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Submitted by onstrike on Sun, 04/26/2015 - 10:57am

Sd8 had her first communion yesterday. I asked weeks ago about her dress and hair,Dh said bm was taking care of it. We show up at church and sd looks like a buffoon. Her dress was NOT a 1st Communion dress,it was shorter,off white,and she had iridescent silver shoes on,along with a headband~veil that didn't fit her properly,so it hung down on her head like a total mess. Every single other girl had a long white dress with white shoes,as it is the standard. Sd8 stuck out and it was just pathetic. Bm is a moron and I wish I could take over sd8 in the hair and clothing department!

Do you believe you can "love skid as your own,without parenting them like your own"?

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Submitted by onstrike on Wed, 12/31/2014 - 11:33am

Dh biggest beef with me is that I don't "love sd8 like my own bs10". I don't think it is that rare. It's biological and the bond that bs10 and I have is over a decade!
I know that bm is pretty crappy and doesn't mother sd8,the way I do my son. I know dh sees the difference and he feels that sd8 gets the shaft from bm. I agree with dh and I feel bad for sd8 at times.
That said,
however,Dh doesn't like it when I hold sd8 accountable ,and defends sd8 when she breaks rules,but wants me to be lovey dovey with sd8.

Update to "Chocolategate"

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Submitted by onstrike on Wed, 12/31/2014 - 10:58am

I let things settle a bit after last night. I spoke with dh this morning and he said that he told sd8 to apologize to me for breaking the rules and lying. She hasn't yet. I would think it would be intimidating for an 8 year old to do that. I told him I want to approach her together with him,so that she sees us as a united front. Also,so that she can't manipulate dh by playing victim or twisting my words.

I am so upset with dh undermining me

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Submitted by onstrike on Tue, 12/30/2014 - 7:35pm

We had a birthday party at our house for my Aunt today and I caught sd8 trying to sneak chocolates upstairs. I reminded her that the rule is we eat in the kitchen. A little while later I watched her sneak chocolate out of the pantry again and quickly dash upstairs. I followed her and went to her room. She had her hand up her sleeve, so I asked her why.She lied and said "my hand is cold". I replied "please open your hand. She did and a bunch of chocolate,some melted were revealed. I told her to throw them away and wash her hands. I went downstairs and showed dh the chocolate.

So uncomfortable around in-laws..dh went whining to them about me

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Submitted by onstrike on Sun, 12/28/2014 - 10:12pm

Sad Today was just oh so much fun. I had to spend it with my sister in law and dh whole side of the family. I was so uncomfortable because last week dh went whining to sil and bil about our problems. I am still pissed about it,and I was not without my wine glass the whole time. Dh gave me the b.s. line that "family is here to help one another" Sure
Ok dh. Justify your smack talk...

nothing is good enough for sd8

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Submitted by onstrike on Thu, 12/25/2014 - 11:54am

We went to my sister's house yesterday and she worked incredibly hard to make a beautiful holiday for all the family. Sd8 was whining and pouting at dinner "I don't waaaaaant to eat this foooood" After dinner we all put out a bunch of great deserts,but I hear sd whining to dh "I waaaaant a popsicle ". She is such an ungrateful brat. Thank God dh didn't indulge her crap for once. He told her to eat the stuff we made !

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