i am demoted when Sd8 is here
I notice how different dh treats me when Sd8 is here. As we speak, Sd8 and Dh are cuddling on the couch several seats away from me,while I sit alone. I haven't been feeling well,nothing contagious,and I could sure use some cuddling! I am so sick of being demoted when skid is here.
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Ok, I'll be honest, at first
Ok, I'll be honest, at first I thought maybe you were too sensitive, but in reading your past blogs about your SD's miniwife behavior and her attempts to exclude you I don't think you are.
One thing I find helpful when DH starts ignoring me and kissing the skids' petards is just to leave. Leave the room, leave the house, whatever. It helps in two ways. First, you don't have to bear witness to the display. That saps the enjoyment of it some for SD, who, although she likes cuddling with daddy, likes it even more when you are sitting on the either sofa watching and fuming. Second, DH starts to wonder where you are, what you are doing, etc. This is especially good when you say "see ya DH! Going out with girlfriends tonight!" and leave him and his spawn to themselves.
DH's do not like that at all. They will complain. Your response should be that it looked like they needed some "alone time" so you figured you'd do other stuff. Repeat a few times and things may improve!
Thank you,yes, I am not a
Thank you,yes, I am not a needy, clingy wife whatsoever! I am so thoughtful and considerate when it comes to giving sd8 and dh lots of alone time. I am not "all up in their grill". I know sd8 needs her time with her dad. I honor that ,so the miniwife crap blows my mind. I don't know why she has to keep peeing on her territory.I just wish Dh didn't demote me during her time here. I will take your advice and remove myself from the disgusting display!
I was going to say the same
I was going to say the same thing. Leave. Spend the evenings out when she's over - go to a friend's house, start a book club with friends, have a ladies dining night.
If you're DH is anything like mine, once he gets the hint that you're not there waiting for him for attention he'll change his tune.
Wish I couldn't relate to
Wish I couldn't relate to that... Feel exactly the same when we have Ss7 over; nevertheless, I'm the one who is accused of being petty, jealous and a "really strange person". If our Hs knew how to balance family relationships, we wouldn't be "petty"...
I'm only blaming sd8 for her
I'm only blaming sd8 for her blatantly bratty behavior and rude remarks.She is entitled and clingy because of dh and bm. I am very aware that she is a little kid who behaves this way because of her parents. Regardless,it isn't easy to like any kid who is whiny,demanding,and rude
I've read some of your past
I've read some of your past blogs and it seems like my SS6 could be your SD8's little brother. I too feel pushed to the side when Skidly is here EOWE. It drives me crazy that the entire weekend has to revolve around Skidly. I don't think the world needs to stop because you have your kid for the weekend, especially when we have so much around the house that needs to get done. And on those weekends, there have more often than not been times when my feelings have been ignored because Skidly is DH's focus. Fortunately, there isn't as much cuddling as there used to be as I believe that DH's starting to realize that Skidly's too clingy. But I still have to put up with some noxious displays of affection and the constant, "Daddddyyy." Not to mention the constant nonsense noises and stupid songs.
I'm not a clingy wife either and I have plenty to do elsewhere when Skidly's here. However, my DH wants me to be around so I can bask in the wonderfulness that is Skidly. I've always been polite and kind to the skid, but I'm definitely not going to bend over backwards for him, especially since he can't be bothered to talk to me or even say "hi" or "goodbye." He also does the creepy creeper staring thing, usually at the entrance to our bedroom.
And we've just had 5 blissful Skidly-free weeks due to vacations and holidays, which means this weekend will be all about Skidly to the nth degree. Vomit. I'm so dreading it. And I'm dreading the Xmas extravaganza even more.