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How did you guys explain SD leaving to biokids?

overit4tenyrs's picture

Submitted by overit4tenyrs on Sat, 11/21/2009 - 1:06pm

Well we are two weeks away from D-Day. DH is feeling the worst of it right now. I think he really thought that she would change so she could stay living here after she turns 18. Problem is DH has to face the fact that SD17 doesn't want to live here, so she's not going to change. She rather storm out of the house, make a big scene and tell everyone we kicked her out. I know that is how this will play out. So that brings me to my question...I don't give a rats behind what other people think, except for BD12 and BS6 who are living here. I know they will ask questions, especially the six year old. The 12 year isn't clueless. She knows how SD17 acts and hears for herself. She will even make comments to me if she hears DH and SD fighting. So Im not worried about her so much. What do I tell the six year old? I don't want him thinking you just get booted when your 18 but I don't want to say the wrong thing either and give him too much information. Any thoughts?

Comments

Angel72's picture

Submitted by Angel72 on Sat, 11/21/2009 - 1:25pm

You tell him the truth. She doesn't want to live here and shes acting rude , disrespectful, not resposible , so you guys asked her to leave earlier. Nothing wrong in telling him that when a person is so disruptive to the entire family, that you cannot live with them, you tell them to leave and have you own home.Tell him, dh and you gave her rules , to help her etc.e.tc...she didn't want them, she doesn like them and that is not how it works in this house. Teach him about respecting another human being. I think this can be used as a great learning tool for your kids. 18 is not the golden number to boot people out. I know it seems like it but i'm sure if she did turn 18 and was a completely responsible adult and helpful and was mature, i'm sure she would be staying in this family. She was givne the choice. she decided. Its her fault, no one elses.

Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Sat, 11/21/2009 - 2:49pm

OverIt - I agree with Angel. Tell your son the truth... but I would also suggest one more thing. I would ask him how he feels about it? Has he noticed anything? Has he felt uncomfortable, etc? The reason why I am suggesting adding questions is because I am pretty sure that your 6 year old is also aware that something is "not right" and probably feels more stress toward SD than you realize. You can make this into a positive.

And one more thing (I guess that makes 2 more things?) Wink ... make sure that however you phrase it - at least in my opinion - it's not too "against" SD... because she could come back to living with you guys again. And you don't want to give your kids mixed messages. Smile

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