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I Just Need to Vent

overitall's picture

Submitted by overitall on Sat, 04/21/2012 - 3:59pm

I just need to vent...The other day, my DH and I had an arguement; I did not back him up when he yelled at our 5 yr old daughter. He had to ask her something 3 times... the first time was nice...the next 2 times were monitone and vervatime, and comes across extremely rude. (Somewhat hard to explain) He has done this before and it is just not an affective way to speak with children. I told him if we would never allow someone to speak to us this way, and we would never allow our daughter to speak to anyone this way, then he should not talk to her this way. Teach her by our actions.
So today he has to tell his son(16) 3 times to do something. Do you think he spoke rudely to him? No, of cousre not. He was very polite the 3rd time, stopping makig sure to get his sons attention.
So, I point this out to DH and of course; that he did not yell at his son as he would have our daughter. Where is the rude voice, etc. Of course, he doesn't want to talk about it; he doesn't want to argue with me.
He never has answers, will not discuss anything when ss here, and let's ss get away with everything. DRives ne crazy!!

Comments

imthewife's picture

Submitted by imthewife on Sat, 04/21/2012 - 6:14pm

I hear you and understand where you are coming from. It is very frustrating.

My DH has done the same thing. The precious SD, poor child of divorce, who is now over 18, still needs to be handled with white gloves...when our BD10 and BS3 can be spoken to very differently.

It does drive you crazy! Hang in there!

B22S22's picture

Submitted by B22S22 on Sat, 04/21/2012 - 7:31pm

Yup, same here. Had to remind my DH of that tonite in fact... not only how he speaks to my children vs how he speaks to his, but the "rules" in place for each family. Maddening.

All I said was, I would appreciate if you talk to your kids about 'x'. But if you choose NOT to, please remember the really thin line you're walking since you've already made it clear to my kids that 'same x' is not acceptable to you. Of course he refused to make eye contact with me for about 15 min, and tried to act like I wasn't in the same room.

During dinner, he mumbles to his kids, "please don't do 'x' you know that's B22's rule"

Gee thanks, DH, way to support me. Especially since it's my kids who hear YOU complaining about 'x' to them.