You are here

Preparing for the worst...

pastepmomof3's picture

This past weekend was the first of a 3-weekend-in-a-row with SS8. No worries about it - he's a great kid and very nice and respectful - no problems. This coming weekend we will also have SD15 for her monthly visitation. Again - no major issues with this, she's a typical teenager.

Here are my concerns though that i'm preparing for:

Last month, my in-laws came up from Florida and stayed a week. We were able to get SS for part of the extended Columbus Day weekend so he could spend a little time with them. SD had already had her month visitation the weekend before they arrived and her BM made it clear that no other time in October was good for SD to visit. So DH didn't say anything to SD about her grandparents coming up. The in-laws brought my FIL's old truck along with them so DH and SS could fix it up for SS when he's ready to drive. Here is where my concern comes in. DH told SD 4-5 years ago that he would get SD a car and they would work on it together and when she was old enough to drive, she could have it. Well, they had a falling out and DH pretty much washed his hands of her and any promises he made, particularly because of how ungrateful she has become. So, #1 issue could potentially be the truck. #2 issue could be that we didn't let her know her grandparents were up visiting.

#3 issue comes in with a conversation we had this past weekend with SS about possibly going on a cruise next summer. BM#1 and DH had a pretty good fight a few years ago because BM wanted to take SD on a cruise but needed DH to sign the paperwork for a passport. DH refused because at the time, ships were getting taken over by pirates, the Holloway girl went missing, etc., so he said No. BM told DH she didn't really want to go on the cruise anyways and that by him saying no, that just made it easier for her to tell SD they weren't going. Now who knows what BM told SD about this whole passport thing. So fast-forward to now, DH is considering taking SS and BD on a Disney cruise next summer. It is inevitable that SD will find out that we are planning this and I know this will open up the can from years past about the whole passport thing. I've voiced my concern to DH and he really doesn't want SD to come, but how does one explain that to a 15 year old?

I'm really just preparing for the worst and hoping for the best here, but it doesn't help my stomach from being in knots until the time comes. I really want to try and keep the peace with SD and i worry that this will put the final nail in the coffin with her and DH's relationship. It's already strained as it is from BM's PASing, but these actions certainly don't help the situation.

I don't know...any insight would be appreciated.

Comments

pastepmomof3's picture

I worry that this is what will happen. I'm sure once SD catches wind of the trip, she will want to go because she wants to travel (not because she wants to spend time with her dad or family). I don't think this would stop us from going but I really don't want to have this type of thing hang over our trip either.