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Left alone

peachymom's picture

So the "boys" went camping. It makes me mad that every time I try to talk to DH about this he gets all upset. He thinks I'm trying to keep him doing things with his son. But it;s not that. I just don't think it's fair that every weekend there has to be something special planned for SS. Why do we have to bwend over backwards to make sure his weekend are do dam special. While durning the week it just the same old thing. It like come the weekend me and our daughter get ignored. Nothing special is planned for DD. Right now, she doesn't know what;s going on, but soon she'll realize that on the weekend her dad has mroe importnat things to do. I know I sound like a bitch...:) but it's fustrating. Like how hard would it be to do things as a family. Like just go out for the day or something. Ug, I'm just upset.
And his parent just pissed me off even more. DH dad is his stepdad but raised him his hole life. (biodad gone since he was born). DH dad said to his son20, "when are you going to make me a real grandpa?" right infornt of SS, DD and me, and DH. What an ass.

Comments

Soniagood's picture

I hear ya peachymom... I work at a hospital - 12 hour shifts. WE have been talking about going to see Shrek 3 as a family for weeks. Seems like my DH decided to give me a break from the kids (while I was at work) and took the kids. Would be nice to be "included" in some of these family outings. Pretty petty, yes, I know, but dang it... I need to feel like I belong!

OldTimer's picture

Oh, I solved this and nipped it right away.

It's one thing to go out on a trip, 'a guy's trip' every so often, but not all the time, or not even bother to THINK about the ENTIRE family. So, anyway, in the beginning, my DH wanted to take my SS camping. Now, I don't believe that it was my DH intent to exclude me purposely, but more of a means to bond with SS, but I was the one that had all the info, knowledge and experience of camping to begin with and he asked me where should 'they' go. I made some suggestions, and figured that I leave it up to him to 'invite' me, but of course, dumb me... of course he's not going to invite me... geesh, that would mean that he would have to think about someone else for a change. LOL.

Well, being that my feelings were hurt, and I didn't say anything to DH, stupid me, I left it, let him plan his trip- without me. They packed, were all happy as a clam... I was miserable. They left, I waved, I sobbed on the couch... then it hit me. Why am I sitting here? I KNEW exactly where they were going, I KNEW exactly how long they would be gone for, I didn't have school due to holiday/vacation. So, I packed myself a duffel bag, grabbed a sleeping bag, and burrowed a tent from my parents (because damn if I was going to sleep with DH!), pulled out an extra map, mapped my route, filled my trunk with extra food- s'more fixings, etc. Of course, extra booze for the night, called a girl friend, and off I went. They arrived afternoon, early evening at 'their' campsite, I arrived late that night... and weren't THEY surprised! I have never had a problem after that! Oh, and I made my DH set up MY tent for me (and laughed the whole time...), and I had a FABULOUS time! I think DH learned a few things since I, um, grew up hiking in the mountains with my parents since I was 6 years old. Since then, he's never complained except when I DON'T go. Yeah, honey, there was a reason why my college buddies call me 'MacGyver'....

Now, when the good ole camping trip comes about, I kinda cringe. I don't necessarily like going with just my DH and SS... it take FOREVER for my DH to relax. He cusses and cruses everything that 'doesn't work', when really all he needs is a little patiences and wadda know... it works!

This year, he's planned a trip that I absolutely CAN'T STAND, but it's all we can afford this year, and I sigh... now I have the opposite problem... how do I get out of it!?!?!? LOL. The place he's reserved is a wind tunnel off a jettie and believe me, it's COLD. All I am going to do is stay in the trailer the entire time, how fun will that be? Pack some books, take the tv/vcr and stock up on some good ole movies, but I rather do that all at home. Yeah, wohpee... can you feel my enthusiasm? I'm hoping that I will get a new job just in time to say... oh, darn honey, I can't go. I got a new job, and well, you know no vacation time yet...

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

Cruella's picture

The buying the tent and showing up is soooo funny. Sounds like something I would do.

Growing up my Dad took us camping all the time. I loved it when I was a kid but now my idea of camping is ROOM SERVICE LOL! If the kids and dad want to go camping they can go right ahead.

OldTimer's picture

I'm one of those spontaneous, no guts- no glory kinda people...
I once made a one day California road trip, and I do mean a complete one 14 hour day, solid, total California road trip, driving the complete time... it started out a friend and I were heading to the coast, but once we got there, we changed our mind, headed south to the Mojave dessert... don't know why on earth we would do that! By the time it came morning at 9am, it was already in the 90's and at a cross roads to either go forward to the dessert, or we could take the chance and turn, and we decided it was too hot... no air conditioning DAH!!!!, (I tell you, we were pretty stupid! I admit, it was totally and utterly stupid, but that was why we did it. Just to let our hair down and get out of dodge.) decided we better change, and headed to Yosemite, except we took the wrong route... someone couldn't read a map back then... my great navigator... then corrected it, got to Yosemite, crashed at a campground for a few hours, then decided, lets go home.... All the while running on the mere fumes of Mountain Dew and Snicker bars... LOL.

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...