SS15 Broke My Heart Today
So yesterday...Yes, YESTERDAY, MAY 5th, my SS15 received a package from his BM. I was kind of confused when it came. I looked at DH and said, "What's this about?"
SS15 says, "Oh, I bet it's for Easter. You know she always sends things really late."
But that's not what broke my heart. That just make me chuckle inwardly because he is figuring her out.
Before I go any further, the package was a bunch of typical basket stuff: jelly beans (which he hates BTW), a chocolate bunny, two stuffed animal peeps, and a superhero action figure. There was a card that said: "I know you are getting old for an Easter Basket, but we are all allowed to be kids sometimes. I love you. Love Mom."
This morning, he approached me and said, "Pecan, I re-read the card from my Mom this morning and I got sad. I cried a little bit. I miss her."
I looked at him, and thought, "Oh god...what do I do with this........"
"Well, SS15, what do you miss about her?"
"Just her."
"Do you remember the last time you saw her?"
"No."
"Do you Miss your Mom or do you miss the idea of your mom?"
"Both, actually."
...
"Okay...Well, Listen to me. I want you to know; that even though you don't get to see your Birth Mother very often; that you have a Mom right here. I love you unconditionally. Yes, I am tough on you. Yes, I want you to grow up to be a strong, functional adult. That is because I love you and want the best for you. You will always be my PunkinHead. I will always be your Momma. Okay?
"Yes."
I gave him a hug, but I have no idea if any of it helped. Sometimes it is hard to tell with him due to his Autism.
This is when I really wish I could slap the shit out of that waste of human DNA that gave birth to him.
- Pecanflower's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Awe poor child. You do a
Awe poor child. You do a great job with him
The kid will likely always
The kid will likely always miss his BM. It has nothing to do with if your a good SM or not. If she's gone then he will most likely always want to know why he wasn't enough or why she didn't want him.
He might feel that he lacks the 'normal' relationship.
Continue to be the amazing mother figure in his life. Offer him all the love and support you clearly are so he continues to know that he does have two parents that love him.
The teen years are full of all sorts of struggles for kids. Identity is really taking shape and some of that may come from knowing where he came from. Who his family is. I don't know your full story but if mom's gone then what about the rest of that part of his family.
My SO never know his dad. When he was an adult he was finally able to meet his father's family and it helped him understand alot of things. Who his dad was and in a way who he was.
It might also be a good idea of letting him speak to a therapist or find some other support outlet. By no means am I saying something's wrong with him but he may be at a point where he needs to process stuff and may be struggling. He may have question he doesn't even know how to ask. This would give him a space where he can talk freely and say whatever he needs without fear of hurting you. If you've pretty much raised him he could even feel some sort of guilt over missing a BM who is for the most part never around.
You did so good. I always
You did so good. I always make sure SS17 hears from me & his dad that none of BM's antics are SS's fault; that he is a lovable, smart, fun & good-looking kid who is one-of-a-kind & 100% irreplacable. He knows this in his head but his sweet heart will always ache for BM to be nice & loving to him. Something she is unwilling to do, and we can't change her but he can show love for her by being respectful even when she's being a B.