My partner of 2 years and I have lived together for just on 18 months. Mt son 23 lives with us. He has an 18 year old daughter who lives in another state whom Ive never met and only spoken to to say hello once on the phone.

My partner and I worked together when we met and he was married for the second time. Apparantly the marriage was unhealthy and they had no children together. He told me soon after we met he was going to leave his wife. I never asked for this but once he had said this I did expect him to follow through. Our relationship was more emotional than physical as he is diabetic and impotent.

The day came when he said he would leave and he turned up with some of his stuff but told me some story that he had to sort things out in his head and would be moving in with a friend. he is adopted and has a lot of self confidence issues because of this. HIs wife had been made aware of the situation. We had an argument and I took some time off work. He did not move with a friend. he went home. I told him I no longer wanted anything to do with him as I felt my health was really being jeopardized with the situation. I went to stay at a friends house for a week and he called and messaged me the whole time. He wanted to meet when I returned from the friends. he picked me up from the station he had all his stuff and said he had made the decision and had left (This was a friday night) he was ecstatic and happy. He couldnt stop telling me how happy he was etc. Saturday morning he was different and subdued. Sunday morning i came out of the shower he was on the phone and he said to the person oh no, when? Ok Ill be right there Ill pick you up. He told me his wifes grandmother had died and he would go with their friend Gordana to where the family resided. he then called his parents in another state and arrangements were made for them to come down. He told me he would let me know when he got there. No call came. I knew his facebook login and that night i signed in. The friend Gordana was online and she asked how I was . I posed as him and I realised everything was a lie. There had been no death, no call to his parents it was all staged by him. I told Gordana who I was and what I had done. I then called him told him I knew he was liar and told him to get lost. Gordana actually called me and tried to cover for him. She was aware that he wanted to leave his wife and who I was. Fast forward two weeks and he did leave her and moved in with myselfd and my son and all vey apologetic as to how he had treated me.He asked for a divorce and the house went up for sale straight away. It was sold a month later. He put the funds into both our names... I did not ask for this but he said it proved he was serious about our relationship
The first few months were odd as he lied about things and did things that I feel humiliated me.
removed something on his face book page in reference to me as his parents friends may see?
took money from our joint account to pay his wifes phone bill and told me not to question the missing money as it was for a suprise gift for myself
told me I was not welcome at a birthday party for his god daughter as he was told people would feel uncomfortable by me being there but the godparents would decide when the time was right and then I would be allowed to meet them. I said not to bother, I had enough friends and wasnt looking for any more. He said I was disrespectful for not being grateful for this offer?
The first time his parents called our home he looked shocked and quite sick because I answered the phone to his father. I developed a serious mistrust of him because I found his behaviour suspicious.
Things settled down but I have this nagging in the back of my head.

We are supposed to move to the UK at the end of the year. My son is staying. He has never been much of a parent to the daughter in another state but always paid child support. Last year I sent her an email asking whetehr she would like to visit him for a suprise fathers day gift I would pay for. All hell broke loose. She sent a horrible email to me saying nasty things about her father and I showed him. They got to talkng and she said she had made them up and she was distressed because he was moving away. He told her "Thats ok sweetheart" then she asked could we pay for her and her boyfriend to fly down for the day and so was going to say yes. I said I would like an explanation for the nasty email first. She acted like I was nuts " What email?" so that was that I said no we wouldnt be paying for a day trip so they could have fun day out it hasd been offered so she could spend the day with her father.

she continued to ask for money he kept paying till I said That I wanted my pay to be kept seperate if he was going to continue giving. She dropped out of school, stays in bed all day and hasnt managed to get a job longer than 2 weeks at a time since. She calls and asks for money for presents for her friends etc not what would be considered essential or important stuff. I have now met his parents and sister and we all get on wonderfully. I love them and they me. They are pleased he left his marriage because according to them his wife was not a nice person and they were unable to sustain a relationship with him as she wouldnt allow it etc
It was the daughters 18th birthday last month and we purchased a pandora bracelet for the occasion (Gifts and cards are always sent by us for all occasions)She called a couple of days before hand asking for cash which he refused. The birthday came and she spoke to him said she hated the bracelet and would like the receipt so she could get the cash. This was refused by so. She sold it on her fb page. She also sold the jewellery her mother bought as a gift too. She refused to call her grandparents to thank them for her gift. She speaks to him like dirt all the time thats if she bothers to answer her phone but manged to tell Daddy how much she loves him right before she asks for cash, tells him what the f*** would he know? when he tries to discourage her from sitting doin g nothing. Never bothers on birthdays fathers day not a call or a textetc etc I am riled. I find his attitude quite poor as he always does the "its ok sweet heart" when she pulls the "but Daddy" My problem is coupled with all the other stuff have I made a massive mistake in all of this. His daughter really annoys me but he annoys me more with the BS that he does and Im supposed to be upping sticks to move to the other side of the world with him. I dont know if he is reliable. As a partner he is great does everything round the house without asking and he very very kind but he has a problem with the truth and acts like a doormat. I have all this resentment inside of me from things that have gone on (And I havent listed them all). I dont even have contact with the daughter but his behaviour with her makes me feel like I have no respect for him he thrives on the slightest bit of praise from anyone and cant stand to think someone may not like him.
If we move overseas can I rely on him not to drop everything and leave me there if the daughter pulls the "but Daddy" routine. I think my main worry is a financial one plus I would not be able to tolerate the daughter anywhere in our home whether here or in the UK whilst the behaviours continue (hers and his)

I want to be happy and for the most part am but in the back of my head something says things are not right but dont quite know what?