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I hate sleepovers

porcelian-doll's picture

Submitted by porcelian-doll on Wed, 03/19/2014 - 8:32am

DH told SD15 she can have a sleepover before even asking if it was ok by me. I don't like SD's annoying friends. At first I thought it was going to be one friend. I asked SD this morning exactly what friend was coming over. She named 6 girls but said only 3 are a for sure coming. I gave my DH the side eye. They should be arriving sometime this afternoon.

I don't like sleepovers. They give me anxiety. I have to worry about them staring and talking about me. I have to worry about them disrupting DD or being all up in her face. I have to worry about feeding them. Telling them to quite down. When SD's friend's comes around her respect and common sense goes out the window. She thinks she can do and say and get away with pretty much anything and DH lets her because he doesn't want to embarrass her in front of her friends.

By the end of the night she gets in a fight with one of her friends. Its just drama. Did I mention she asked BM first and BM said no so she asked DH and he said suuuuuure. I walk through the door with DD and a bag of groceries thanks for the help DH!

Dh: Hey babe SD is having some friends over tomorrow

Me: To hang out or sleep over?

DH: sleepover

Me: What ? Why didn't you call and ask me first

DH: Oh....... sorry. But I already said yes... Are you mad?

Me: A little annoyed

DH: mmmmm I can help you relieve some stress

ME : Ha good one. I have to feed DD

DH: After she's put down for a nap Wink

ME: DH shut up just shhhhh.

I feel like taking DD and myself for a sleepover at my grandmother's and leaving DH here with a house full of teens and seeing if he survives. But I know some parents aren't comfortable with their daughters being left alone with a grown man so I will stay. But I'm giving DH the side eye and he isn't touching me for a while. I'd get more pleasure out of decking him right now. I hate sleepovers!

Comments

goincrazy.com's picture

Submitted by goincrazy.com on Wed, 03/19/2014 - 8:39am

I get it. I've had to have this conversation with FDH multiple times. When Sd16 is around she has to have either 3 friends or her boyfriend with almost every time. I would come home and not have a clue I was walking into a a kitchen with 4 girls cleaning out my fridge and cupboard, drank all the pop-2 12 pks and they are sitting on my counter and don't clean up.
I was irate. I like my peace and quiet and FDH has the attitude "whatever makes SD16 happy" :sick:

Thank God she's not around much but that was a topic in therapy as well- treat me like a partner, I live there, I have a right to know who's in the house and my opinion needs to be respected if I'm not up for a house full of teenage girls. UGH

Unfreakingreal's picture

Submitted by Unfreakingreal on Wed, 03/19/2014 - 8:43am

I don't like sleepovers either. SD is supposed to be moving in with us soon, she is into that type of stuff. She's going to be very annoyed a lot of the time, because it's just not my thing.

tabby yabba do's picture

Submitted by tabby yabba do on Wed, 03/19/2014 - 8:48am

I hate sleepovers too. For all the same reasons you listed.

Shame on DH for not running it by you first. I dislike surprises almost more than I hate sleepovers, ha!!

Disengage as best you can. "House of Cards" is a great binge-watch series - log into Netflix and enjoy an evening in your room hanging with Frank and Claire Underwood. Smile

askYOURdad's picture

Submitted by askYOURdad on Wed, 03/19/2014 - 9:14am

I don't mind the sleepovers too much if I know what I'm getting into. The fact that DH sprung it on you, well I would flip and make sure he is somehow inconvenienced in all of this.

For example: "DH why don't I order a pizza for the girls so they don't eat all of our food?" "gee honey, thanks." "ok hun, it's going to be ready in 30 minutes, oh I said pick up, and I called the wrong pizza place, it's the one on the other side of town with all of the annoying one way streets, sorry" "hey SD, you should have your dad take you guys up to get a movie." "maybe even accidentally unplug something on the TV so DH has to mess with it etc. etc." I could go on and on, I'm passive aggressive so I would secretly just make the night miserable for him and the next day tell him in the future you expect it to be cleared with you.

askYOURdad's picture

Submitted by askYOURdad on Wed, 03/19/2014 - 9:28am

Usually I can talk to DH about something and he will listen, I'm pretty laid back so I'm not on his case much. If that doesn't work, I no longer nag/remind. When I nag/remind it goes in one ear and out the other with DH. BM is like the freaking queen of the nagging, even still it's gross. DH goes into automatic repel the nagging whatever it is about mode if I start so I learned that I get much better results when DH is slapped in the face with consequences for his actions, even if I have to help karma speed up the process lol!

kathc's picture

Submitted by kathc on Wed, 03/19/2014 - 10:37am

Wow, he gives the OK for a sleepover without talking to you (because he knew you'd either say no or limit the number of friends coming over, I'm sure) THEN he tries to "make it up to you" by offering you sex? Does he have a few screws loose? Maybe you ought to smack him in the head a couple times to put things back the way they belong so he can think straight and NOT pull bone head moves like this again!

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Wed, 03/19/2014 - 9:57pm

I would leave & spend the night at my girlfriends or a hotel. You have a newborn. His plans - he deals with it.