My dad is a cheater
My dad finally came to see my daughter and I thought he would have drove down with my mom to get here as fast as he could to try to make it to the delivery but he got tied up at work. I knew something was weird because my mother and father are glued together and he barley even spoke to her when he called and I believe he could have easily taken off of work. Last night I heard my parents arguing and that is a rare occurrence. They tried to use hush tones but my mother is the world's worst whisperer. I found out my dad has been cheating and having an affair for the past three months and he plans on marrying this women as soon as the ink dries on his divorce to my mother. They were arguing about when is the best time to tell me. I don't want to talk to him. How dare him. I know people get divorced but this is my parents they have been together 32 years. How can you throw that down the drain in 3 months? I don't know the whole story and I am avoiding him like the plague there is nothing to talk about. Hell I wonder if he was too busy with his mistress to come be there when his daughter was having complications giving birth to his grandchild. He was probably too busy screwing around with his skank. I'm sorry I need to vent my chest hurts and I feel hurt he didn't just cheat on my mom he cheated my trust. He gave me three thousand dollars and told me to go have some mommy retail therapy. What that means for him is that he knows he screwed up but rather than admit it or talk about it he throws money at you. This can't be happening. It’s one thing if your parents have a failed marriage it’s another thing all together when you find out one of them is a cheater.
- porcelian-doll's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Wow! What a bombshell... i am
Wow! What a bombshell... i am sorry you are so upset, PD. Please take care of yourself - and your baby. Go spend that money... have some fun. This is not your problem to solve.
Your dad did not cheat on you. I hope you will be able to have a relationship with both your parents now, without taking sides. Won't be easy. Bad timing too.
The irony is, you did not think being a SM is a picnic in the park?
Looks like you will be a step-daughter soon. Trading places for a change.
Could do wonders for one's perspective (I am both a SM and a SD - without
much of a relationship with my SDs/SM).
Welcome to step-hell, the double whammy variety! Some of us get THAT lucky...
I know you will be hurting
I know you will be hurting now and yes what your dad did wasunforgivable but only for you mum. As hard as it is for you please remember he did not cheat on you. His and your mums relationship is between them and has nothing to do with you. No matter what happens he is still your dad and will still very much love you even if he no longer loves your mum, the 2 are completely separate. People make mistakes and while i don't agree with breaking any marriage vow and cheating you can't know truly what their relationship was like behind closed doors and sometimes only the 2 people in a marriage can break it up it very rarely has anything to do with anyone else. Nobody has the power to break up a happy marriage IMHO.
I'm speaking from experience. My dad cheated on my mum (with her best friend!). While I was angry when I found out I had to accept that my mum and dads relationship was between them and completely separate to me. He didn't cheat on me. When I got older and realised how adult relationships work I found that I can somewhat understand when things like this happen. I don't agree, but I can understand.
I understand how adult
I understand how adult relationships work so I hope that wasn't a dig. I am hurt because I always wanted a marriage like the one they shared. If it could happen to them it could happen to DH and I. This may sound selfish but I feel like apart of my life has been ripped away and now I understand sort of what step kids go through especially adult stepkids. Honestly it is going to take a very long time for me to met this woman. I will treat her with respect but I do not respect her honestly because she slept with a married man and it is not ok. I love my dad. I am mad at him but I love him. I'm shell shocked.
Yes I agree with the above.
Yes I agree with the above. He still your dad he still loves you. He may have been embarrassed to see you or your mom may have said that she doesn't want him there. I'm sure he was trying to not rain on your parade. Keep in mind you just had a baby and your hormones are out of whack, they are it's just a fact. Try not to be irrational.
There's never an excuse for cheating but you don't know what was going on with thier relationship. Many parents put on a brave face in front of their children and their marriage could have been dead for years. My mom cheated on my step dad and left him mentally when I left the house at 18, he 'd been my step dad since I was in 1st grade. She moved out two years later literally a month before I give birth to my son so that when I came home from Italy for maternity leave I went to a completely different house with a person I've never met before. It was awkward to say the least. I don't agree with her actions but I realize that her relationship nothing to do with me so I can't hate her for it. Finally years ago she confided in me that they been living like roommates for a long time, and while it doesn't excuse her actions I get that everybody just wants to be happy. If this happened with my husband and I would kill me for the children to hate one of us.
Take your mom out for that
Take your mom out for that retail therapy with you.
I'm shell
I'm shell shocked.
+++++++++++++++++++++
I would be too girl!! There is no way to NOT be. Sorry...no advice. I would behave the same way you are. PISSED at my dad. And there would be NO way that it won't change your relationship with your dad.
But that is what he gets for bring a cheater.
I realize that he cheated on your mom...BUT...he actually changed the whole dynamic of your entire, extended family life now. Sad that some people can not keep vows.
I hope it doesn't change the
I hope it doesn't change the relationship it shouldn't she's an adult.
She needs to have a conversation with your dad and tell him how much it hurts her but it shouldn't change them and it shouldn't change the love between a father and child. Especially an adult child. She's not part of their relationship or their marriage She's a byproduct of it. Too many people feel the need to choose sides instead of accepting that everyone's human everyone has faults and to accept the things you cannot change.
Not sure how it can not
Not sure how it can not change the relationship she has with him?!
He cause her mother a lot of pain...he will be marrying a woman that has caused her mother A LOT of pain. There will no longer be any family get togethers. She will now have to have a separate relationship with him. She will not ever look at him the same. He is a lowly cheater now. Not just her dad.
I think his cheating will forever change the whole family. there is no way it can not. Very sad for all of them.
No It wasn't a dig at all.
No It wasn't a dig at all. Sorry if it came across that way. I was just explaining my situation. My dad left my mum when I was 6 so I meant when i grew up I understood a little better. When I was growing up I was very angry at him and wouldn't entertain the woman he cheated on my mum with. I was right not to though because when she found out she couldn't have kids of her own she made my dad choose between her and me (I was 8 at the time) and I have had little to no contact with him since. Have I forgiven him for cheating on my mum? No that is not my place only my mum can do that. Do I understand? Yes I know relationships fail and sometimes it works out for the best. My mum moved on and was a lot happier than she ever was with my dad. I hope the same for your mum.
Take the money and then slam
Take the money and then slam the door in his face. Avoid spitting in it first, or not.
I could not immagine the hurt that you are experiencing. I would be hard pressed to have anything to do with either or my parents if they cheated on each other. Mom, or dad, loss of character and breach of trust to that level is not tolerable IMHO.
Keep taking dad'd dollars. If it makes him feel better and you profit ... let him feel better. At the core of his being he knows that he has no character.
Take care of yourself and make sure to let your mom know that you are there for her.
I found out when I was almost
I found out when I was almost a teenager that my mom was cheating on my dad. It was horrible because I had no clue if my dad was aware or not. I didn't tell him because I didn't have any concrete proof.
But it did change my relationship with my mother. They are still together but I lost respect for both of them over time. Although I still love them both.