Back to school blues
School has started again. It is great that my kids don't have to hang around at home all day again but it means more frustrations from Ss. He started highschool yesterday and it was back to yelling and crying in our home. The kids in school are back to bullying him. He has not told us this but we can tell because he is refusing to go to school. My Dh had to drag him out to the car today.
My Dh will meeting with the principal tomorrow to discuss this. It is ridiculous. I cannot believe the teachers are not able to do anything. My Dh has yelled at many many teaching staff over the years. I guess he should not yell but he gets very upset about Ss being bullied.
And don't even get me started on the dog. That ungrateful (pardon my language) b**** is more interested in playing with my kids than with Ss. We are still making Ss do everything for the dog but she still runs to my kids the moment they are home. Ss was very hurt. He ended up putting her bed outside his room because she was not coming back anymore.
And yesterday I caught him yelling at my son. He usually stays away from them but I think he is getting more resentful of them. Anyone have suggestions on how to make the dog bond more with Ss? I think the dog is picking up on Ss's negative energy and is shying away from him because of that.
- praying's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
SS needs major counseling in
SS needs major counseling in an inpatient setting. Period.
I have thought about
I have thought about therapeutic schools for Ss. For a while I wanted to send him there. But every therapist, including the one Ss is seeing now, say it is better for him to stay with us. This therapist has been a god send. She has done wonders for Ss. We trust her completely. If she says Ss is better off at home, we believe her. But I think that even if the therapist would have suggested sending Ss for inpatient care, my Dh would not have done so. There are times I cannot stand having Ss in my house. And I know that if I push sending Ss away, my DH will move out. I think my marriage would end before my Dh sends Ss away. I wanted to add that not all abuse and bullying victims become murdering psychopaths. I think for what Ss has been through, he has acted very normal in public. I doubt I would have been able to do the same.
This makes me so sad. As much
This makes me so sad.
As much as I hate it, I think inpatient treatment is a good idea at this point. You guys have really tried everything I can come up with.
I don't know your history
I don't know your history with your SS, but in reference to your Ss and the dog.
I watched a show on TV once where kids with disabilities were matched with a dog to help them.
In the process of matching the child with a dog, sometimes a "match" doesn't work with a specific dog. They aren't always sure why, but in one case the young man was very frustrated and disheartened to see that the dog he was given wouldn't bond with him.
They took the dog back and a different dog was given to him. This dog and the boy bonded very well together.
Maybe, your dog just isn't a good match for the SS. Is there a professional dog trainer in your area that could help you find the right dog for your SS?
I have a friend who is a dog obedience trainer, and in taking her class, there were owners that just could not get along with their dogs. The temperament of the dog (often based on the breed of dog)and the temperament of the owner did not fit.
My sister-in-law is also a dog trainer, and in Arizona she would take dogs into prisons and teach the prisoners how to train and take care of the dogs. Some of these men were very tough guys, with a lot of emotional baggage. In the process of training and learning to groom the dog, and learning how to understand DOG LANGUAGE - yes dogs have their own type of communication - these prisoners really bonded with their dogs and learned to love and receive love from another live creature.
I would suggest you not give up on the Ss and do some more investigation into finding him a new dog. He might need a certain breed that is more affectionate. NOT A TERRIER! The are very stubborn and won't mind.
Good luck.
Thanks Not-the-mom. I want to
Thanks Not-the-mom. I want to return that dog. My kids have fallen in love with her now. She is a pretty perfect dog. She just won't bond with Ss like I thought she would.
I know exactly what you are
I know exactly what you are talking about when you say making him a perpetual victim. We have spoken to therapists about this and we have been able to avoid showering hi with pity and guilt. Everything is done behind closed doors. My Dh treats Ss like a normal kid, although he does tend to be overprotective. But he does try and make Ss try new things. It is SS who refuses to leave the shelter of his room. The dog was not a solution to his probles. We just hoped it would help with his loneliness. My kids do not know any better about Ss. Al of us treat him like another family member. It has gotten to a point where do not even comfort him when he's crying except a few words because he hates it. Like you said, Ss has to want the help. He is struggling with that. But I really feel my Dh is doing Ss a big disservice by not having any expecations. My Dh is preparing to have Ss live with us his whole life.