THis weekend has been especially trying. I am pretty good at disengaging for the most part. Many weekend with kids leave me feeling keyed up and in need of serious unwinding but this is way more. I'm not sure I can even put my feeling into words. DH has asked me what's on my mind because he can tell I'm bothered but I can yet discuss it, maybe I won't ever be ready since it usually comes to no good.

Both SD and DD are playing all star softball which is a huge time requirement. THey play the same level but different schools/leagues. SD is big for her age and athletic. SHe is a good player. DH helps coach her team and is very involved. DD is extremely small for her age and a so/so player. SD's league has barely enough players to fill a team and most everyone gets selected for all stars. DD plays in an area that has tryouts and not everyone is selected to play. SD is playing her second year at this level, DD is playing her first as she is a year younger. THose are the facts, and I am VERY able to be objective about their abilities.

Soooo, SD's team is done with their season. I went to a few games, cheered, supported them as did my kids when schedules worked out. DH and I had many conversations where their game, team, schedule, performance was the topic. DD is now just starting their tournament season. This weekend was the first, all weekend tournament. We had kids so SD and my DS went along too. Friday night, first game, SD sits and mocks and makes fun of all the kids playing. She is so critical of EVERYONE else. And when she gets going my DS joins in. DH says nothing. Day 2 I start by telling them both that I expect them to support their sister and not make fun of any other team players. tHat lasted half a day and then started in again. Again DH says nothing

I have to sit and listen to SD say , Oh, I could have made that play. I hit better than that. I"m faster than that. All of this I ignore but it grates on my nerves. All day it's playing down DD's abilities, making her seem unworthy to even play. All day it's making fun of a player on the other team that was 'chunky'. Btw SD has no room to talk about other kids weight.

We didn't bring a tent to sit under so were sharing with some other parents. SD always angles for the best chair, in the best spot, never with a care to anyone else. Again DH says nothing. Is it so hard to teach your child some consideration of others???

On the way home we stopped, before SD got back in the car, I told DS with DH there that I did not like the way he was talking about other players and I didn't want it to happen again. I explained why and how rude it was. DH reiterated my thought to SD when she got in. So on sunday she sat and didn't say a word to anyone. just sat and bit her finger nails and texted on her phone looking borded all day.

DH sat at the games and didn't really cheer. It was like he was there because he had to be not because he wanted to be.

So sunday evening I find SD's phone sitting around and deside to take a look at it. Bad idea, I should learn to leave it to my own mind, that's bad enough. But I'm nosey ! So there are texts back and forth between her and BM discussing my DD's softball abilities only as they compare to SD.

SD: It's boring
BM: I know, are they winning
SD: yeah but she isn 't even in playing much
BM: oh, does she play in the outfield?
SD: yeah and she hasn't had very good hits
BM: not like you huh?
SD: no not at all

I know typing it out now it seems like very little but it bothered me soooo much. I think it just irks me to have my child the object of their discussion. And it confirms what I think SD feels. That she is better than everone else and her mother supports it, even feeds it.

And then everytime I tried to talk to DH about the game, he acted completely not interested. I was left with the feeling that if it's not him or DH he doesn't care.

I'm hoping that I feel better getting this out there. Am I overreacting?