Soooo.. there's 'golden uterus' women.. and perhaps for men, we can refer to them as 'golden ball sacks' ... sounds like your DH could be one of em eh?!

LOL! I can SOOOOOO relate. My FDH is an amazing wonderful man but sometimes he's jealous of my kids either in relation to their accomplishments vs. stepkids or in their taking my time away from him. He would never admit it in a hundred million years but it's true. He recently took it too far with some comments about my BD and I honestly thought we were going to break up over it.
Then he read my blog and told me if something was still bothering me so much I was telling strangers on the internet then I at least owed it to him to tell him how I feel. He said it was easier to see my point in my blog because he could read it without feeling attacked. So we worked it out.
Maybe that would work for you? Maybe you can try telling your DH to read your blog or if that would not help, maybe write it out in an email or letter for him to read?

"I was rebuffed by dh to the tune of "It's only Kindergarten. It's not Harvard.""

He should've just said a polite "that's nice" or "that's nice that they're doing well."

I think that, if anything, these conferences remind him on some level that he is a bad parent. Maybe even uncaring. If he truly cared about his son he'd parent him and at least try to get him the help he needs. Maybe going to these conferences makes him a bit resentful as well? Although your ex isn't in the picture, your bios aren't DHs kids. Even though nobody is to blame for this but your ex, maybe your DH feels resentment that he's doing what, in his mind anyway, your ex should be doing. I'm not trying to be hurtful, but this is what he may be feeling.

That said, I also think you should tell him that if he cannot say something nice he shouldn't come to these things.

Ye Old Double Standard rears it's ugly head once again! I don't know how you ladies do it when you have similarly aged bios in the house with the golden skids!!

I'm glad that my kids were pretty much grown when I met Guilty Daddy. But that has not stopped the Double Standard. All three of his children get CRATER grades in school and have been "ever since the tragic breakup of he and the BM" (TM). The BM uses the breakup as an excuse and never had any standards or expectations of her children. Both of them have given all three "pet status" (watered, fed, toilet trained--barely, given lots of material goods) Did I mention the "tragic breakup" (TM) was over ten years ago and that BM is remarried to a well heeled guy?

My bios always got high marks in school. Guilty Daddy mocked out my bioson for being on the Chess Club in high school. He sees his children as "athletic" (they are not in the least-just HUGE for their age) and thought that they would be major league sports players :barf: :barf:

Funny thing is that YSS couldn't even catch a ball at age 6 1/2 despite having it slowly lobbed five feet away underhand. I had to stop watching after the 43rd attempt otherwise I was afraid I would break out laughing which is a capitol offense in Guilty Daddy's eyes.

My dh has his moments with my BS9 but nothing really extreme but I do admit...I LOVE it that my BS9 is sooo much better, smarter, etc than dh's kid. }:)

My son does very well in school academically and behavior wise; his kid got in trouble for calling another kid a "fag" and seeing nothing wrong with it, my son is athletic, active, tall & skinny - skid is a fat, lazy, video game junkie.

I think on some level we are all in one way or another competetive when it comes to our/their bios vs. skids.

This is my favorite thing in the world: So all I can say is dh is a douche canoe who can go sail himself down Dickhead Stream in the town of Iwannapunchyourfacein..

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But anyway, I can see how you would be irritated, but also think about everyone on this site bitching about their skids. To your husband, YOUR bios are his skids...mind blown? I think so.

I have similar issues, but not in grades. My bio is 33, his skids are 24 and 19. My daughter calle me daily, sometimes twice a day. We are very close. Drive SO crazy, he would never admit it either. Skids never call him, never text him. He sent youngest just turned 19 a BD card with money in it (I'm sure it was at least $100 or more) to her college apartment. Never heard anything, finally he text her and asked if she got it. 'oh yea, thanks'. He did tell her that she should have acknowledged it. Oldest same thing. Honestly, how hard is it to text someone, 'hi dad, doing great, busy working, love you'. That is all he expects, but they don't have the time to do that. But WAIT...if they wanted something ($) or a flight home from college, then they could reach out. Sometimes I don't tell him I've talked to my daughter, sometimes he asks, and I'll say yes, but I don't tell him I talked to her 2 maybe 3 times that day.

But really, secretly, don't you think your children are better than DH's

Wow...Sueu2 - Back off!

Mofo, my DH does the same exact thing...his kid truly doesn't accomplish anything in school, is barely on average track for his grade level...my girls on the other hand are BOTH reading at least a grade level above the grade they are in now, can spell a grade level above, etc...let me say one thing about my girls and DH tries to say something "special" about spawn...*gag*..