it's funny i just had i thought after posting my last blog(for thoses that have read it i'm sorry for the length).

but for as long as i can remember i have wanted to offer c absolutly everything that my boys have had even though she doesn't live with us and her visits only work out to about 23% of the year and i always wanted her to feel she had a place at our home no matter what happened. c was also the reason that my hubby and i had decided not to have anymore kids just incase she ended up living with us, we didn't have the room for 4 but also the costs etc.

i feel that i have invested so much time, effort everything to have my investment bust. i am drained by my efforts but yet i still feel obligated.

i have always felt that i need to do this as not to be the evil step mother like those from our fairytales and been the one seen to take the bio parent away from their children, i didn't want to be cruel or nasty ( or an ugly old witch but hay who can fight time) but i have come to think it may not be the step parents fault for the bio parents walking away and it may not be the evil step parent who mistreats the stepchildren but that it is the actions of the evil stepkids and the exs. i have felt that for a very long time now c and her bm have taken my hubby away from me and my children yet i still try to not look like the evil one. am i crazy for still trying to save c when she has turned into the very thing i was trying to save her from or am i just trying to save myself....