Responsibility
My SD is home alone all summer babysitting her half brother who has ADHD and is only 7yrs old and SD is 11yrs old. I totally disagree with this, but this is her mother's house so my hands are tied. What are your opinions of children this age being home alone all summer. They also live on a main road next to a farm, only two other house on this main road.
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Depends on the kid. I
Depends on the kid. I personally think it is a little to young, to be babysitting a 7year old all day long.
I don't have in issue with
I don't have in issue with it, did it with my own who are now 11 and 14 BUT and this is a very big BUT. I believe it depends on how mature the children are, the older one more so. My some is very mature and responsible and my 11 yo is a good kid. I don't know if I would do it with a child how had ADHD or some ohter issue. There also rules to be followed and I only worked 10 minutes from home and had a friend who lives close if I should have ever needed her.
I thought it was illegal to
I thought it was illegal to leave a child under the age of 12 alone in a house... maybe that's just in Canada though.
In the US it varies by state.
In the US it varies by state. In my state there is no "legal" age it depends on how the mature the child is, here you can take a baby sitting class at age 11 and get a certificate. They teach you CPR how to care for infants ect. I personally would not leave an infant with an 11yo, a 7yo yes.
It is but BM does it anyways.
It is but BM does it anyways. Even though we pay half of daycare. It doesn't make sense.
Ya, or even family. We could
Ya, or even family. We could take her full time during the days in the summer, but mother didn't like that. We also pay half for daycare so i don't know why she is being so cheap.
we learnt that lesson early
we learnt that lesson early in life to never give BM money. So we always pay our half separately, but BM is suppose to find her kids daycare and we then pay half for SD. Well since SD took babysitting course and was able to be home alone, she started using her for daycare. We are supposed to have thursday night with our sD, but still have to take her half brother to his dad or another person to watch her, which isn't our responsiblity. we even use to watch her half brother till BM and SD were off work at 9pm. Not only that we live in a different town and takes 30 mins each way to pick up SD. BM seems to take advantage of us.
I would be ok with it for a
I would be ok with it for a few hours after school, but not all summer.
It started as just after
It started as just after school and then now it's summer she thinks it's alright to leave BD at home all day from 8:30 till 6pm
In Canada the age is 12 to be
In Canada the age is 12 to be left alone. If it was just the 11 yr old it may not be that bad depending on the child of course. But to have the 11 yr old responsible for a 7 yr old to me is asking for trouble and way to much responsibility for the 11 yr old. Check out what your state laws are in regards to what age a child can be left at home alone. I personally would be making a call to CPS.
As per CAS it is illegal. to
As per CAS it is illegal. to be under the age of 12 and watching another child. The 7yr most also be at least 12 yrs old to be home alone.
I have called to clarify that
I have called to clarify that guideline that was on the website with my Mother in law that works for CAS as well as a couple of friends who work for CAS.
From your post, so anyone
From your post, so anyone less than 16 ( I think both are under 16?) I would think you would have a hard time convincing a Social Worker that an 11 yr is capable of watching a 7 yr old with ADHD everyday all day. Having to provide meals etc. What this mother is actually doing is parentifying her child!
The Child and Family Services acts leaves this as a broad statement for a reason!
"The Act says that a person who has charge of a child less than 16 years of age cannot leave the child without making provision for his/her care or supervision that is reasonable under the circumstances. Anyone who contravenes this provision is guilty of a provincial offence and if convicted is liable to a fine of up to $1,000 and/or imprisonment of up to a year."
I would love to call CAS, but
I would love to call CAS, but i am too close to the situation and I don't want to lose the extra time we have with my SD. As per court order when she was born her mom had sole custody and we were to only have her one night during the week and every other weekend. BM reminds us of this every time we piss her off. Then she takes SD away from us except for allowed alloted time. We are afraid to do anything to piss her off. She has a history of taking men that piss her off to court.
So be prepared to go to
So be prepared to go to court. If DH wants more time, and she's leaving the kids home alone unattended, I think he could easily fight and get more time.
Just because she takes him to court doesn't mean she's going to get what she wants. He needs to stand up to her .. for the sake of his kids. She's a bully and she'll just continue to do whatever she wants as long as he allows it.
yeah, where do you
yeah, where do you live....that kind of bullying is frowned upon in court. You can't hold your kid hostage from their parent just because you're pissed off at them
yes my DH has an issues with
yes my DH has an issues with it, but BM told us the farmer next door would be home, but he isn't always there and he certainly doesn't check on them, so BM lied to us. This babysitting only happens 3 days a week, but still isn't good. Its also illegal in Canada to be left alone younger than 12 years old }:)
If you're concerned call CPS
If you're concerned call CPS and have them check it out. That's what they're there for.
If you think DH can get through to her and have the situation changed, maybe go that route first, but it sounds like that didn't work.
can someone please tell me
can someone please tell me DH/SO what do they stand for??? I'm getting lost in the family tree
No neither route would work.
DH - darling husband and SD -
DH - darling husband and SD - step daughter
(No subject)
Rachel81, I would suggest you
Rachel81, I would suggest you call CAS. You can ask to remain anonymous or you can tell them who you are and ask they do not tell BM who called. My concern here is that something bad "could" happen and the 11 yr old will not know what to do and you and your DH would be wishing you did something before hand. Has she taken any type of babysitting courses?
yes she has taken 2
yes she has taken 2 babysitting courses, I worry every day. I call her during the day to make sure they are alright. Even if I did call and they didn't expose my name we would take the blame and lose our SD. Mother is very muniplative and controlling. I am happy that she doesn't babysit for 5 days, just 3.