Well, if my biokid asked me about a ring I was wearing and I replied "Daddy gave it to me", nothing more would have been thought about that or commented on and my biokid wouldn't have felt entitled to have a similar ring because she's not an adult and she's not in an adult relationship with my DH. However, in the case of a skid asking that question - it's always way more loaded - isn't it.

I've actually had the first part of that conversation - FSD9 saw my engagement ring, said she liked it and asked where I got it. I said the same thing, "Your Daddy gave it to me." but all she replied with was, "Oh. It's very pretty."

If she had said he never got her anything like that, I probably would have said something along the lines of, "That's because these kinds of rings are given to girlfriends/fiancees/wives. Daughters get different gifts from Daddies, and when they grow up and fall in love someone will get them a ring like this then." It sounds a little entitled, but it partially sounds like she doesn't understand that they're wedding rings, not just pretty rings. If your DH and her mother were never married that could be why. -shrug-

Either way, I might have said it a little differently but your response wasn't terrible. I wouldn't sweat it.

My sd12 would say something like that. I'd say, "that's because you're not married to him. Find a husband and you'll get one too."
When we came back from our honeymoon (she was 9) she asked where he was going to take her, lol. Sorry kid, it's just dh and I or everyone, good try though!

I would have told her that its not her dad's place to get her a wedding ring or any other expensive jewelry, its her future husbands place and someday when she falls in love and meets a wonderful man who treats her with respect, he will get her her own beautiful ring and expensive jewelry. That there is no reason to be jealous because you have a different relationship with dad than she does and someday she will get to have that kind of relationship with someone too.

My BF daughter expects to get an equivilent to anything he gets me. I don't get anything from him except for gifts for special occasions or holidays. It is irritating that she is so selfish....he dumps anywhere from $50-100 or more anytime she goes with us to the store and she still expects to get something anytime I do and that is even if I buy myself something....Crazy I tell ya.

Yes, it would have irritated me. When FDH and I got engaged a similar comment was made by sd11 and I responded simply by saying when she has a boyfriend that would like to marry her she will get a ring from him.

I don't think steps understand the father-daughter relationships boundaries and limitations. They feel you are the other woman, mom is the wife and they as kids are entitled to adult privileges.

They are so wrong it's not funny. But in my case, I blame crazy BM because she says and does a lot of things to confuse these kids. We have been engaged for 8 months and bm still refers to me "girlfriend". BM also refers to herself as "the spouse" or "the wife" because that's how it's written in the CO. She's an idiot how doesn't realize that by saying those things she is impacting those kids. She also does it to be annoying!

Oh well soon enough I will be the "wife" and she will be what? Hmmmm, the xwife, wonder what title she will give herself when that happens? Interesting...

When I first read this, I agree with raggedyann that maybe you could have explained it a little bit better to your SD -- but we all say things sometimes without really thinking through them especially if we feel the other person's comment had some other motive.

Then I thought about the ring that my dad gave me. It was just after my parents divorced, my dad had moved 3 hours away, with another woman. He bought me a small, classy little ruby with two diamonds on the sides. I loved that ring. It made me feel like even though my dad had moved out of town and was with someone else and not our family, I could just look at the ring and be reminded of his love. However, my dad and I are pretty close and I harbored very little bad feelings for him and his new girlfriend (who later became his wife).

But I also remember holidays with him and his new wife and seeing the magnificent jewelry he would give to her and feel little pangs in my stomach for a few different reasons. He never gave my mom any jewelry to speak of...so it made me feel a little bit bad for her (even though she didn't know of hte jewelry my dad bought his new wife). I also felt like he was spending so much money on her and by then I was having a hard time making ends meet as a college student paying for everything on my own that I felt like I wasn't as important because he never would give me money for things like car repairs or a dentist appointment. NOW I see that he was trying to make me more responsible with my money...

I thought I'd explain some of the mixed feelings I felt about this same thing, coming from a step-child's perspective.

OMG...you too...the scary movie thing really ticks me off...I enjoy scary movies and so does BF but of course the Princess cries and whines...."why did you pick this movie jojo...I'm scar-e-d...daaaaaaaaaaaddyyyyy...I don't want to watch this movie" Movie gets turned off. AND THEN....few days later her friend is over and they are watching ..ORPHAN! So from now on...I will go to our bedroom to watch a movie I really want to see and she can watch cartoons in the other room. I refuse for this friggin 10 year old child to run my life!

At least you got a ring....

Huh? I don't think it's unreasonable to keep the t.v. kid friendly when young kids are around. We have four older kids and one who is only 8. We don't watch anything other than G and PG type of movies until after his bedtime. That's not letting a kid run the house...that's just common sense parenting.

yes it would bother me!! it's none of her f'n beezwax

Crass, I know, but my first thought was "Well, there are certain things I do for your dad that you don't do and shouldn't know about until you are married to your own husband. Those things I do entitle me to certain privelages that someday, hopefully, your husband will bestow onto you."

As long as I'm the one providing certain "services" around here, I'll be the one sporting the bling, thanks very much.

Hello it is an engagement ring and unless you are living somewhere where fathers and daughters marry - I actually come from a small town where there are a few fathers dating their daughters very disgusting - but I don't think it is the case here and quite frankly she knows who gave it to you and why she over 10 and every girl over 10 knows what a diamond means for the love of pete my DD5 knows what an engagement ring is - she does want to marry her daddy or big brother or a few boys in her daycare but I give her a break she is only 5 - lol (plus she does not live full time with SS and really does not see the full picture once she gets a little older I am sure she will not want to marry him!!!

Exact same thing happened when we got engaged and SD now almost 10 said "(hands on hips...well daddy never bought me anything like that" and I said "Well I guess not, you are his daughter and while he loves you, he asked me to marry him and be his wife, when you get older and find the right man he will then ask you to be his wife and give you a beautiful ring..until then it is what it is"...my SD laughed and said ok that works for me...end of story...lol...it was actually very cute, SD was curious and was not being rude or disrespectful..just curious...