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Not sure if this is where I go to vent..first time

raggedyann1973's picture

Submitted by raggedyann1973 on Thu, 09/30/2010 - 12:28pm

I am a first-time user....I have to vent about my 14 yr old step-daughter. Is this the place?

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raggedyann1973's picture

Submitted by raggedyann1973 on Thu, 09/30/2010 - 12:38pm

Thanks...I was reading some posts and while my issue may be mild compared to others here...it still bothers me and I'm not sure how to handle. My step daughter is 14, her dad and I met when she was 2...her parents were divorced when she was 2. My husband and I have been together/married for 12 years. Here's the problem....she's 14 but acts like she's 5. If husband and I are talking, she wants to interrupt (all the time). If we are all together watching tv and something is funny, she only brings it to her dad's attention. It's as if they are the only ones in the room. If we are walking in the mall, she will wedge herself between us and walk in the middle.

If I ask her to take her bag/shoes..whatever up to her room (in our house) she looks to her dad for approval. Her dad and I have talked to her about this behavior and it has improved some but I feel at 14 she should be acting her age.

He has visitatiion every 2 weeks.

She calls him while he's working about 5 times a day...they really don't talk about much. she may call him to tell her a funny part that was on I-Carly or something.

I hope I don't sound too mean, but I'm just not getting it.

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Thu, 09/30/2010 - 12:44pm

clingy ass baby.... it's not mean... she should be showing some level of maturity at this age.... and dh is at fault for allowing her to disrespect/ignore you...

my ss11.5 calls dh at least 5 times a day usually more for no f'n reason ~~ drives me batty.... but what can you do?? now dh secretly takes the calls outside ~~ like he thinks i don't know.. dh is just embarrasses b/c his kid has NO social skills or friends...

icarly, isn't she too old for that??? there's another st member on here who has sd who acts 5 and she's like 14/15 ~~ hopefully she'll see your post and chime in!

raggedyann1973's picture

Submitted by raggedyann1973 on Thu, 09/30/2010 - 12:48pm

Okay glad it wasn't me being mean. Its hard to deal with....One tme she called him twice..he was in shower..she called me twice..i ignored the call then she calls MY daughter who was at work...all becasue she says she can't sleep if she doesn't hear his voice...i'm like wtf!!!.....very immature person here....husband will cut the convo short with her all the time..bc he knows..or sometimes he doesn't answer his phone

dakotamom's picture

Submitted by dakotamom on Thu, 09/30/2010 - 1:23pm

***husband will cut the convo short with her all the time..bc he knows..or sometimes he doesn't answer his phone****
I'm laughing at this because there's proof that your DH doesn't like the crap she's doing either but is guilty for whatever reason so allows it.
DH's ....sometimes we don't understand them but love them anyway.

Good luck with your SD. i have a ss15 who does the same shit. irritates the hell outta me!

zenjetset's picture

Submitted by zenjetset on Thu, 09/30/2010 - 2:32pm

Wow! If this is your only problem after that many years I would like to know your secret! Wink

yes, sounds like guilt on the part of your dh. The walking in-between and the mall, the looking for approval from daddy, I don't know that sort of stuff doesn't bother me. My skids do it sometimes but not always. I take it for what it is, they want to be close to their dad. However, they always hold my hand too or all three hold hands if we are watching tv. The will be in the middle with us on either side, that doesn't bother me. Sometimes they too deserve their alone time with daddy, I'm ok with that.

Guess if you're not feeling included that would be a problem.

raggedyann1973's picture

Submitted by raggedyann1973 on Thu, 09/30/2010 - 2:48pm

actually yes he did tell her that..he is ALWAYS on my side and shows it in front of her...but the more i read the posts, the more i think theremight be something mentally wrong with her...like she'd rather play with her 10 year old male cousin then "look-up" to my 17 yr old daughter

Bulletproofvest's picture

Submitted by Bulletproofvest on Thu, 12/31/2020 - 5:20pm

Your SD was a very immature and needy girl. My SS9 behaves exactly like this and I HATE it! But he is 9 (and a young 9 at that)....im

guessing she grew out of it at 16...