When she informed me, all I said was "Go file."

Between CPEs to renew my professional cert I have been binge watching reels and clips.  One I saw today is a man whose DW is handing him divorce papers which include a CS agreement for a kid that is not his. They met when the kid was 7. No adoption.

They are in a conference room with her lawyer.  The STBXH refuses to sign the papers as written and informs his STBXW he will not support her or her child and he will be moving on.  He raised the girl as his own.   This is all from their back and forth.  Her lawyer is trying to word game the man but basically since the kid is not his and he never adopted the kid, apparently their isn't much merit to the STBXS attempt to get CS.

She gets frustrated and asks him why he thinks she wants a divorce and if he knows what he did. He responded that he did nothing and she is the one who wants the divorce so he is out and she can have her next man support her and her child.

When my XW dropped the D card, I never even thought about asking why. My response was "Go file."  She then broke down in tears crying that I wasn't going to fight for her.  I had been the only one fighting for us for the entire marriage. That is how I responded to her tearful expostulation that I wasn't going to fight for her.

So, those who have been divorced, did you ask why your partner wanted one or did they ask you why if you initiated?

Just curios.

A somewhat step related second reel/clip I saw this AM.  A dad comes home from work, walks in the house, and asks his DW where their son is because he and the boy had plans to go do some activity, I do not recall what that activity was. The DW replied that the son's father had picked him up from school and would bring him home that evening.  The dad who walked in the door looking for his kid for their outing and who lived in that home took exception that BioDad had not been in contact for 2 years and asked his  DW "if this is how it is now?"  She of course was not happy at his position on the situation. He was obviously hurt.

Then the channel host commented. "Let him fail. He will. Be there for your son. Keep doing what you're doing. This is not the kids fault and the kid will need his dad when his heart is broken by BioDad."

The host then went on to talk about how his step dad is not his step dad, his step dad is his dad. They met when the host was 2yo.  The host also shared that he has held his DD every day since he "found" her and her mother 10 years ago.

That reel/clip hit home for me though I never took exception to the SpermIdiot visiting. I never had to. He never did. Though my son does live the repeated failure of the SpermIdiot and he lived the never ending sequence of heartbreak as a child.  The host on that channel was dead right IMHO and experience.

So, ceteris paribus (if our mate is of quality and we are raising the SKid), as a SParent do we keep doing what we're doing and pick up the pieces when the failed parent invariably fails?  I did. However, if my partner was even a fraction fo the problem, I'm not sure I would.  Not something I have faced but if DW and I had divorced when SS was a minor I would sue for as much visitation as I could get but would not have paid a dime in CS. The SpermIdiot was already under a CS order so my assumption is that a BM can't double dip on CS with two different men for the same kid.  He would still be mine but... any support I provided would be to my son directly in that situation.

Opinions?