The results of crazy making.

I posted a blog quite a while ago about a term that I had just heard, Crazy Making, in reference to the sister of a dear friend of ours. The sister's husband had faught a dedicated campaign for most of their marriage to gaslight her, kept her pregnant for the better part of 25 years, separated her from her family, and had repeatedly driven her to a state of mental and emotional instability, brutal depression and had her in and out of the state Psych hospital on and off for most of their entire marriage.

This was not a secret campaign. He was very open and overt about it. He had lost his kids from his first marriage in the divorce and he swore he would not let that happen again. He and his brother devised the strategy for him to be in the driver's seat and keep the wife in a state of instability just in the event she decided to divorce his abusive ass.

They have 5 children. Ranging in age from 25 to 4. She has been in and out of mental institutions while attempting to fight to maintain a relationship with her children. The demon evil husband has PAS'd the older kids to the point that they refuse to see their mother during CO'd supervised visitation sessions which are a couple of hours every two weeks or so.

Our friend's sister had committed to her treatments, was diligent in taking her meds, had added a pet to her life and was by all indications was improving significantly over the past few months after years of tragic abuse and stress related mental and emotional illness.

Our friend texted us less than an hour ago

Her sister successfully committed suicide.

If there is any good news in this situation, it is that the sister had been making significant improvements over the past few months, had moved into her own place, was engaging with her family and friends and some of her kids had been seeing her during supervised visitation. There are some pleasant memories to cap such a tragic run of many years.

There is a reason why I take a no tolerance stance against toxic manipulative evil people in the blended family opposition and extend that zero tolerance to crappy behavior from SKids. The opposition has no place in the life of an X in a post divorce or ended out of wedlock breeding experiment relationship. None. Reasonable behavior has to be a given and deviation from reasonableness has to be met with such unpleasant consequences that it ends rather than builds. Kids need the facts regarding the actions and behaviors of an evil parent and in the case of that evil parent's family being evil, the facts of the history of characterless evil bullshit.

Our friend's father is a representative in the state legislature and had been driving aggressively to get h is daughter help and to aid her in protecting her rights to her kids and access to her half of marital resources.

It would not surprise me if the evil XH will now go under the hairy eyeball of all assets the deceased's family, their friends and State officialdom can bring to bear in destroying that evil POS. If I were her dad, it would be game on and I would have him in court every possible second for the rest of his miserable life, every time he left his house or work he would see people watching him. Those kids would all know the facts of what he had done to their mother and to them. My GKs would know that I would do everything in my power to protect them from their evil POS father. I would show him crazy making. He would be a drooling blathering idiot by the time I got done with him. Grrrrrrr!

Zero tolerance and full confrontation from day one when evil is at play strikes me as the only logical way to minimize the evil that people like this can foment. If it is never allowed to go unpunished then there is no need to get to a point where it is too lake to do anything about it.

From great news of not having Leukemia to losing her sister in a single week. Our friend is undoubtedly crushed. Good people should not have to deal with evil people and their crap.

Live well all. Take care of you, and let the evil in your life know that it is game on and will always be game on when they crawl out from under the slime covered rock that they should remain under at the bottom of their shallow and polluted evil gene pools.

Hug your loved ones. The next hug is never guaranteed.

End of rant.

Rags's blog
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Comments

That man sounds like pure

That man sounds like pure evil. I feel horrible for the woman who was lost to suicide and her kids, friends, and family.

Do you feel comfortable sharing some of the things he did to contribute to her declining mental health? If not, i understand. It's just that some people here may benefit from knowing what type of behaviors to watch out for, or may recognize some from their own relationship.

My knowledge of the situation

My knowledge of the situation is through our friend who is the sister of the victim. Things she shared included the husband regularly confronting the wife in front of the kids with "You are crazy!" and drawing the kids into things that a responsible parent would not expose their kids to. Constant gaslighting the wife by turning any of his behavioral crap around on her. He treated his wife as a junior child in the family and sponsored the kids to have authority over the wife. He kept her regularly pregnant though she had repeated problems with post partum and would not allow her to use birth control or get her tubes tied. He isolated her and their kids from mom's family and kept that pressure up so assertively that even when there was a periodic reconnection with mom's family he would pressure his kids to retract from their maternal GPs and extended family.

I am now hopping that with mom's demise that her family will nail his ass in court and get GP visitation rights.

Interestingly their eldest started engaging with mom and mom's family over the past couple of years as she engaged in a relationship with her elder half brother. The elder half brother and his mom were very supportive the eldest daughter and confirmed some of the eldest daughters fears about her dad and helped her to interpret what she was seeing from her dad through their experience with her father. The 4 younger kids are far behind in knowing the facts of their father's manipulations.

No doubt there are any number of evil toxic details and of course there are influences associated with mom's mental illness issues even if those are caused by the husband's toxic and evil actions.

Our friend's family tried to maintain a level of neutrality and to not become too involved over the years. Sadly this in all likelihood just left the deceased exposed to her toxic DH without effective support until the husband had accomplished his goal of getting full custody and limiting any interface between the deceased and her kids. Her family was very supportive of her during the final several years of struggling with mental illness and had advised her for years to get an IUD and quit accepting her husbands domination of her and the kids. Sadly there is little anyone can do to force help onto others once the other is an adult..

I would say that if a partner behaves in any way other than a fully engaged supportive equity life partner that those behaviors have to be confronted. Whether the behaviors are in how a partner engages with an X, addresses the behavior of their failed relationship children, or how they engage with their partner. Wrong is just wrong and wrong cannot be tolerated without choosing to accept the consequences of that wrong.

I won't do that in my life and relationships. My parents know they have my love, loyalty and support. My bride knows that she has my love, loyalty and support. My kid knows he has my love, loyalty and support. I know I have the same from them.

That is the situation as I understand it and my opinion on the need to deal with this kind of thing assertively and regularly.

Any whiff of gaslighting from your significant other or second guessing yourself (when normally you do not), should be huge red flags.