Yes, it often happens that a truly inept parent retains custody or visitation even with impeccable witnesses against them.
In a now deleted thread asking if a custody or visitation can be stopped due to a person be a poor parent it was asked if teachers, school officials and other impeccable witnesses condemn the individual as a poor parent. In my research and direct experience it takes a truly incredible chain of events and heinous behavior by a parent to take custody or visitation away. To the detriment of the child. IMHO.
The answer is often yes, it is extremely difficult to take custody or visitation even from a truly bad parent.
In my SS's case we had Police officers, CPS, certified foster parents, BioDad's own friends and girl friends, and countless other witnesses stacked up to testify as to how much of an idiot and poor parent he is.
Police officers - Testified to BioDads arrest record for carrying an illegal hand gun in SS's diaper bag and how he ran from the Police leaving SS alone in a car seat in the back of the car. How BioDad frequented known gang hang outs and was petitioning for entrance in to an African American steet gang. He is not African American (he looks like Opie Cunningham) though several sources testified that he frequently told people his mother is Black. (She looks like Mrs Cunningham or Aunt Bee)
CPS and Certified Foster Parents and previous underage girl friends - Testified to BioDad's targeting foster children as one of his preferred sources of statutory rape victims. He had a long and distinguished history of inappropriate sexual relationships with minors. (though never charged or convicted).
His own friends and teenie-bopper girl friends - Testified to how BioDad frequented parties attended by underage girls and provided alcohol for those parties. He was witnessed on many occasions giving SS (then an infant) whisky to get him to stop crying at these parties. All while my Wife was at school or work.
Many witnesses of standing the community - Testified to the abusive nature of BioDads family and the risks they posed to SS due to SpermGrandPa hitting SpermGrandMa and his abusive treatment of his children.
My Wife and others - Testified to how BioDad kept SS and my Wife isolated in a wreck of a travel trailer and would not stop on his way home from work to pick up formula, food and milk because "he did not want to be seen by his teenie-bopper GFs in his Plumber Clothes". He would not go back to town for formula, food and milk after he got home, showered and shaved because he was to tired. He would not allow my Wife to get a drives license because he wanted her dependent on him and isolated from any support she could get.
After all of this the Judge ruled "I hope everyone feels better now, any child would be truly fortunate to have the love and support of a family like this".
So, even with impeccable witnesses against them a truly inept parent is unlikely to lose custody or visitation.
This is my only experience with this type of thing but it is accurate and direct.
Unless a parent is a blood sucking, axe murdering child pornographer it is next to impossible to take away custody or visitation.
Best regards,
- Rags's blog
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Comments
My Wife has always been the CP, but BioDad has always had
visitation and we have always lived more than a 1000 miles from BioDad and the evil SpermClan.
Apparently the courts nearly always give sole or primary custody to the Mother in unwed childbirth situations. That has been the premise of my SS's case from day one.
So, our deal has not been all that bad. Though like most Blended Families we have always had associated drama to deal with.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)
OMG
WOW you and your family have been through hell! It is really almost impossible to completely take away custody. We recently delt with CPS over BM possible molesting SS9. She gave him a hickey on his jawline that lasted for 2 weeks!! Who the hell does that to a kid? :sick: Still CPS said that BM was in her right mind and was "only trying to make SS9 feel better by kissing his face" Yeah so when is it that they made sucking on a kid okay?? I must have missed that memo!! It really disgusts me that we have these agencies to protect children and they only seem to come to the rescue when it is to late. I actually had a CPS investigator tell me that they cant do anything unless the child is hospitalized!! :jawdrop: It is disturbing that these "donors" are allowed to be in the lives of these innocent kids. It is so discouraging sometimes but we keep on going to try and protect them..
It is better to be the hammer than the anvil.
Emily Dickinson
We have been there, but luckily
The threat of a psych eval coming to fruition caused BM to cave last minute. Ever since she has continued to bow out more and more to the point that she sees SD a few nights a month, and barely at all over the summer months. With my SD's BM, it seems that she just has to think it's her idea, and she'll do whatever you need her to.
I agree the court tends to just drag things out trying to get both parties to resolve it without making a judgment.
By the way, in my city, a man just murdered his children and MIL. He was found guilty of domestic violence last year and his sentence was converted to probation. He was allowed to keep his unsupervised visitation even though he threatened repeatedly to kill his exW.
I sincerely hope the judge in that case is throwing up daily since the murders and his arrest.
I will not vote for any judges who are lenient on abusive parents. I don't care if they've never been convicted of abusing anyone other than their spouse or exS. If they would have put him in jail for 2 years, the kids and their grandma would still be alive today.
"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?" ~Hamlet Act III scene I
Why can't Judges be found criminally negligent for their stupid
decisions? Or even sued for damages for the results of their stupid decisions and rulings.
When a Judge puts a child with an evil parent or lets a career criminal out on the streets why can't that Judge serve the sentence for the crime that the Judges poor decision resulted in.
I have a family member who was a Brig Chaser when he was in the Marines. Brig Chasers are clearly instructed that if an inmate escapes while under the direct control of the Brig Chaser then the Brig Chaser serves the remainder of the sentence of the escaped convict. There is a reason that very few Brig Chasers have ever had to serve the remainder of a convicts sentence. The Brig Chaser will shoot the convict if there is so much of a twitch indicating that the convict is attempting an escape.
If Judges had to bear the consequences of their own stupid rulings they would tend to make the RIGHT decisions far more often. Say for example, when a Judge rules that a Sparents income can be applied to reduce the CS owed by an NCP. If the lost CS dollars came out of the Judges pay check you can bet that the Judge would more consistently rule in favor of the Kids best interest. If a Judge was financially liable for the pain and suffering of a child forced to be with a manipulative parent (either custodially or for visitation) then Judges would consistently make far better decisions than the idiots seem to currently.
Just venting of course.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)