need your opinions.
hubby and i have been fightin every other weekend w step kid. 7 yr old. and i have 2 year old and baby on the way due this april.
i told him. i want 3 seperate beds. and he said you are retarded they are sisters. I said, i grew up sepereate my family does and yours when your mom is very poor. and cannot afford a bed.
I said i got 2 year a bed, and when this baby born she will have her own bed as well.. and he said no it not going to happen. and he wanted all in 3 in 1 bed. TWIN BED? no.. and I told him i grew up seperate and i dont want 7 yr old sleepin w us rest of our life in our bedroom. and 2. get her own bed and plus you never got her a bed at all but sleepin on the floor. my 2 year old sleep on my old twin bed. i got it for my child.
he too lazy not to get his elder daughter a bed. but want to use my old bed which i have told him. no i give to my own child.
and i do not know what to do.. and we fight every other weekend. 1. she makiin faces, and i am very depress, 3. not happy, 4. trying so hard to be nice to his 7 yr old brat, 5. hubby sleep on couch and made me watch his 7 yr old. which its no tmy responsbility. and he told me he take care of her for all a-z. i responsible for my own 2 kids. and 7 yr old never respect me and i tried. she run around the house she jumps on the couch, and yelling and screamin at me and hollering and think this house a playground. and i tried to wake hubby up how upset i was. because, i tried so hard. he got really pissed off at me and said stop bugging me. i take care of it when i get up. its gets on my nerves!
1. i ask myself 2 questions. do you love randy? YES 2. i awnt a divorce yes. he doesnt listen to me and help me and displine his older daughter.. and my 2 year old acting like 7 yr old. and tellin me im not her mother, you are a monster, you are mean.. im not i am displining you to respect people. sighs.. anythign else? i guess i have to find another counselor.
my other counselor betrayed me.. they told me they accept medicaid for me. and few months later said no they dont accept yo uhave to pay full price and cost me 300 bucks total. that i dont have. and we fought finally got me down to 100. and i will never go back to that counseling ever.
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We have 8 kids and they each
We have 8 kids and they each have their own bed. There is less fighting, and the kids are all comfortable. I don't see anything wrong with you asking for separate beds for the kids. A 7 year old doesn't want to sleep with a 2 year old. And for kids to sleep with an infant is dangerous. If it's money he's worried about, you can find nice beds at yard sales, craigslist or thrift stores. And many good mattress stores sell used mattresses after cleaning and/or rebuilding them. We didn't pay full price for any of our mattresses.
i tld him what you guys said.
i tld him what you guys said. and he said you all think are so retarded. and i know im not over the line. and its a very simple thing. and its not nescassary for him to call me retard over that. and.. ugh..
honestly, tonight i will talk to hubby.. and i need some my own space. and i don tknow if i can live with this anymore.. not just because of beds.. included his daughter 7 yr old.. she have no respect. and first of all.. im tired.. that what i am going to say.. IM TIRED OF THIS SHIT!
its been 3 years agrugin over abt step kid behavior.. and how she treated my daughter pass 2 years.
i have clients wh ohave kids ages under 3. she threw a cat at little girl face and stratched. right before the photoshoot. and 7 yr old thinks its funny. she have no respect. see her parents stinks! they cant displine her? wtf
i will have a baby shower. i told hubby i wont allow ur 7 yr old messing with my baby shower. and he said its my daughter and i do wahtever and i said knw what fine if she here.. we go somehwere elese without her. she hurt a little girl... and no respect and pushing my daughter and being so rough. i have friends kids are 3 under..
ugh.. im too upset i think its time for me to have a long bubble bath.. and go straight to bed.
Well tell him 'Nu uh! YOU'RE
Well tell him 'Nu uh! YOU'RE retarded!'. He really should grow up and think about his kids and his wife. Life is not all about what makes things easier for him.
B I N G O! sighs... that
B I N G O! sighs... that really on my nerves.... UGH.. If he wants to do that.. he do on his own. I aint going to let it happen. if he dont care what I say. I can move on my own. Im tired.. really.. not just BED part. a-z w 7 yr old brat. expect me to watch her while he naps. and i hate that. she never respect me at all. when i need him. he gets really angry and yell at me for wakin him up. and I was hurt because i need his help because his daughter 7 yr old disrespecting me.
sorry i dont like his daughter. at all.. no way.. should i shut up or what?
A 7 year old needs to respect
A 7 year old needs to respect her elders, whether it's mom, dad, stepmom, aunt, uncle, teacher, grandparents, older sibling.... Sorry, but it sounds like hubby just wanted a nanny, not a wife. I'm not about divorce if a marriage can be saved. However, marriage is supposed to be about family, spouses working together for the good of the family. It does not sound like your husband has the family in mind. Only himself. He reminds me of my ex-husband. And he's an ex-husband for a reason.
does he do that to you? How
does he do that to you? How can you handle that for couple of years and had enough?
I know I told hubby that.. and he said i need to respect her. i said i tried to be nice.. NICE.. will you put the dishes away and clean your spot and put your clothes away, shoes.. she always says.. you are a monster, you are NOT my mother, you cannot tell me what to do.. I am not doing it. my room and I do whatever i want to.. that kind of attitude really pisses me off.. big time.. i tried so hard. and its been almost 3 years in my marriage with my hubby... ugh... I told hubby.. what i told her and he made her.. once while not really.. its nothing.. ecuse me. having a baby on the way and get into the habit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
see she so grrrrrrrr....
You may not be HER mother,
You may not be HER mother, but you are THE MOTHER of the home. It's not HER room. It's YOUR room, she is only borrowing it. My SS6 tried the 'you're not my mom' with me ONE time. When it was dinner time and I didn't fix a plate of food for him, he looked at me weird. I told him, I'm not his mom, I'm not making him dinner. This food was for everyone else. He said 'sorry' so I made his plate, and he never said that again.
I was married to my ex and put up with his shit for nearly 10 years. Like I said, I don't like the idea of divorce. But everyone has a line, only so much a person can take. If he crosses your line, you will do what needs to be done I'm sure.
yeah, i understand completely
yeah, i understand completely what you meant. and she never apology to me what she have done to me. and can you believe he told me to wash her clothes feed her etc. since he told me at the first time. dont do anything but i do all for her. a-z. and knw what he did.. RACHEL! where is her SOCKS? i said huh, umm not me and first of all you told me once dont do anything so not my problem you and her. not me.
he got so mad at me and think im a bad step mother. i was like. wtf!!!! I follow the simple instruction from him. and he cannot keep that for himself? whatever. I dont know how to STOP right there and HAD enough... I repeativity 3rd time wanting a divorce. within in a year.
I honestly had enough, but how can I say it in a right way. I told my closest friends they think its my choice to decided to feel its right for me to leave. its my 3rd attempt to leave. and my friend told me.. if 5th just leave. no reason to stay and keep on going and make it worse for you. and your daughter and new baby.
So, i guess have to talk to hubby again.. about the issues. i dont like divorce but all i can do is to ASK GOD for help.. and he can only guide me where I should go....
His daughter is his
His daughter is his responsibility. If she's being a brat, he needs to take over. I wouldn't waste my time on skids who treated me like shit, especially if their dad didn't care.
if u are in my shoes.. what
if u are in my shoes.. what will you do? i already start packing few stuff.. i dont know how long i can handle this shit. hubby dont care if he divorces me. and he said he wont leave his daughter for me. and doesnt matter. he did not spend time with them. not even my 2 year old. i always say ily and give her hug and kiss before night time. not him.
i am going to figure out. since i am tryin to apply for medicaid but im still married and waitin on hubby to get his ass bank statements done adn get my medicaid asap.. due to baby. and myself. when we actually divorce.. i get all the help i need. and put my daughter in day care.. and such and on. and i already plan ahead.. if happens. i took all xmas stuff down. im not interested to spend christmas with him or 7 yr old during that xmas weekend. i b at with my daughter. at my parents.. and go to my bros. and stay there as long we can. til we are done. who cares. i and trin already opened early xmas gifts. today. she loves it and hubby said you are nut case.. and physco on my child. i was like. me and my daughter only not you i aint involved you. just me and her.
im in the wit end..
we have 7 kids and they each
we have 7 kids and they each have their own bed!! you are the one that sets the tone. he told you to be in charge of the kids. you don't have to ask him every little thing. do what you need to do, what we did and get them kids some beds! thrift store, garage sale, w/e. train that 7 yo now, she will be worse when she gets older. don't let her say you are evil monster. that's disrespectful.
Depends on my situation, what
Depends on my situation, what I would do. It's a scary world, being broke, and trying to take care of kids on your own. If you are set on leaving, you have to make sure you can work, because you will not get enough child support to live off of, and you won't get anything right away either. This will mean kids need a sitter, nanny, or daycare since they are not yet school age. Your local social services may be able to help you with job placement, housing, and you will be able to get medicaid and most likely food stamps. But their help is not a fix, it is there to help you get on your feet and be self-sufficient.
I left my ex husband after someone in my family died and left me a small inheritance. It was only $2000 but it was enough to get an apartment and put deposits on utilities. I didn't have a job or a sitter. I was about to be approved to receive help with daycare for my youngest when my mother came to live with me, to help me with the kids. It's a difficult road, being a single mother. But I'd rather my boss treat me like shit and get paid for it, than a 'husband' treat me and my kids like shit and only get grief over it.
Again, I do not like the idea of divorce, especially when kids are involved. I would never encourage someone to do it, unless they or their kids were being abused. But you are the only one here who knows your situation, and you are the only one who knows how much you can take. You do what you gotta do for yourself and the kids.
This morning, Hubby talked to
This morning, Hubby talked to me and he said. you know how much i love you and i just want us to work it out and i dont like the idea you put me on last night saying divorce. and I get really upset. i said well. you think im retarded, you think im bad step mom and wife and all that crap and i got stuff in my room was little packed up. and i had enough. he said will you try to work it out with me? I said last chance.. if again i cannot do it. I am not going to deal with your daughter treating me shit like this and over and over for past 2 years. and now i have my own child saying that to me.
i told him if 7 yr says very disrespectful i smack her face. he said that is against the law. if you i will call the police for the child abuse. and i said look at other people on tv. realitiy. step mom or dad spanked them or smack thier face if they being very disrespectful and they respect them 70 percent.. some dont and first of all.. 7 yr old tend to lie snd saying that i hit her and such.. i didnt hit..
i scold her right her in her face.. that all i always do. and she said you are mean and monster, etc. honestly i will be willaing to give him another chance.. but God will only lead me where i should be. if God wants me to stay. then I stay. If God wants me to go and I will go.
How many times.. attempted divorce so far? 2 or 3... who says divorce. me twice, hubby twice.
IMHO kids get their own beds.
IMHO kids get their own beds. They can share a room but they should all have their own beds.
As for smaking the face of your SD-7. I do not believe in slapping a child in the face. In fact, the only free smack zone on a kid is the ass IMHO.
Next time she gets in your face, grab her by the scruff of the neck, bend her over your knee and light her bare ass up. If she does it again, blister her ass again.
It is highly unlikely that the authorities will have a problem with you spanking her for misbehaving.
As for your DH and his crap, let him know in no uncertain terms that if he does not like how you discipline SD-7 that he better get it done before you have to.
Good luck.
And Rags is spot on, as
And Rags is spot on, as usual! Smacking in the face is not a good thing to do. I know how much you want to, my BD13 is testing me in that department. Sometimes when she's smart-mouthing me, I want nothing more than to slap her and shut her up! And sometimes I do beat her butt (I think I was still smacking the back side of their hands at 7), but a slap in the face is not discipline as much as it is an insult, and emotionally damaging...