Commiserate please!
Like most I'm here because I'm frustrated and don't know where to turn. My insurance won't cover this type of counseling - believe me I'd be there if it did!! SO has a 17 year-old granddaughter. I've known her all of her life and we had a quite good relationship (I never tried to be "Grandma") until she hit her early teens. From then on it was total scorn and lies. Her mother (SD) has never cared for me (partly jealousy??), and is willing to believe the worst, though she knows GD is a liar. MY SO has 5 grandaughters total, but this one is a favorite (SD is probably favored more than SO's son). After being banned from our house (by SO!) for about a year because of the last big fabrication, GD is living with us because she can't get along with her mother, stepdad and younger sisters. She's attended two high schools in the last year because she can't get along with classmates, teachers and though quite capable, is nearly failing. SO, and everyone else! seems to be having a tough time giving this girl any accountability for the trouble she creates and now its in our laps. GD has no incentive to cooperate at home and SD (mom) has no incentive to work with her because grandpa is the bailout. . GD and mom are going to counseling but I don't know why - they are not together to mend anything (counselor has said GD likes the attention this is creating). I'm treated like a non-entity except when she wants to snot at me, out of SO's ear and eye-sight. I'm trying to remain calm for his sake (heart surgery last year) and be supportive as he's asked me to be, but its hard. Oh, did I mention I have a 20 year old son in the house? College and the economy make it unlikely he can move out on his own - he's a good kid. He and SO actually have a very good relationship. She has said she wants his room - we have none for her (long story - but when we built SO wanted to keep house rural and small so his daughter wouldn't move in/out, in/out, etc. with us). I'm scared to death GD will invent a story about my son approaching her - SO has acknowledged this is not farfetched. Am I blowing this out of proportion or what??? I swear this is no embellishment!
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WOW.
I don't think any insurance would pay for all the thearpy you must need for going through all of this!
My advice, buy the book Stepmonster. It's the best 20 bones I've ever spent in my entire life.
It's hard enough to deal with SK's, please don't tell me I'm going to be dealing with bratty SGK's as well.
~All you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust~
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Thank you - I'll check this book out. Even if there's one paragraph in the thing that will help - I'm ready for any lifeline!
I think you are going above and beyond
Why are you raising Step Grand Daughter? I would send her back home to SD. At some point, you and SO deserve a little happiness without all this drama.
"I know God has a wonderful plan for me, I just wish He would tell me what it is"
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Thank you Abigail. Her mother won't keep her because she is so disruptive to their lives - she (SD) doesn't have a "revolving door" to keep taking her back (and we do??). She wanted to send GD to a "scared straight" type camp but SO thought this was too harsh and because GD begged, "promised to be good" etc. (after she called her mother filthy names I'm uncomfortable thinking, let alone saying aloud - and to my mother no less!) We (SO and I) took a few days last week to visit my family in another state and left GD with her mom because she didn't want to come (thank goodness). SO's phone started ringing on our way home. GD's mom was so anxious to get shed of her, she met SO halfway (we are about 50 miles apart). In our absence, GD had a physical fight with one of her sisters and I don't know what all else. SO has a kind heart and wants to help but it has really disrupted our household. He keeps telling me she won't be staying and going to school in our district - but I'm skeptical to say the least. She may not even meet the graduation requirements (different state - different school district) or be able to "catch up" to do so. Its very frustrating - trying to be supportive of him while she disrupts our household. I feel like a ghost - I just stay out of the way and come out to cook - not for her - she's too picky (I do let her make her own "meals" aka - hot dogs). My son works, attends college summer session and when not busy with friends - now stays in his room. We all used to enjoy each other's company - a lot of kidding around, teasing. Conversation is impossible - she looks for reasons to be insulted or argues the smallest point with me and since she's never wrong - I just let it go. SO has asked me to be patient. Last night I got about 3 hours sleep because of phone calls. He went out to "chew her ass" after her new "boyfriend" called at midnight - then he went back to sleep in his recliner with her on the couch - lights on - she's afraid of the dark - so I'm not sure how badly she was chewed. Well - I better knock this off - I'm too tired and will do nothing but unflatteringly whine. Thanks for your input. I'll take my deep breath now and telling myself this is only one day and I can get through that. They have another counseling session this week - maybe they'll put her on meds (maybe she'll share).