Step mom, step off a cliff more like
Yesterday my SD flat out finally started talking to me the way she does when her dad's not home right in front of him. :jawdrop: he was like Excuse me she was all like you're excused he was absolutely shaking with frustration
She goes back before she's really able to be punished for anything and he won't spank her she's thirteen and her bio mom said it's the thirteen year olds perogotive to call me what ever she wants so no back up no support she says (bio mom) I'm "a blood sucking parasite" even though she never worked when they were together and still doesn't.
Doesn't matter that I work and am helping to support this house she gets over 1000 a month from us since he makes her 600 dollar a month truck payment and still sends out 400 a month plus what ever else in emergency's. Now don't get me wrong I'm not just ragging on there bio mom and she has helped us a time or two and I find her being a stay at home mom admiraible because her son has special needs and all that; but she is also home schooling her son and her daughter they are with her all day and while it's very clear to me it's just not working anymore they are not my kids and while I think that profesional help should be sot so that the at least the 13 year old develops some social skill that's not my call
My Sdaughter started off reàlly liking me too it was weird how for months she was OK and now about 4 months ago really out of the blue starts saying I'm a demon and that I have evil spirits hanging around me until you listen to the way her mom talks about me SD does it to my face like I'm not even there or more like I have NO feelings I know I shouldn't let it get to me but it still hurts
I think if she wasn't homeschooled and left all the time with her disabled brother that she might find a better outlet I can tell she's got all this rage and anger over so much and just have to sit there because I can't force her to face any of it my oldest Stepson and I talk he has told me he to may need to talk about some of his issues but that he's not ready and if she isn't cool by all means wait but don't ignore that she has them at all
- Red_panda7's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Holy run on sentence!
Holy run on sentence!
Why is he making her truck
Why is he making her truck payment for her? I'm sorry you're having to put up with such a bitch of a kid. Your husband needs to put his foot down or his foot in her ass. It may be too late to punish but the punishment can carry over until the next time she is there. I don't advocate bringing up the BM but I think he may need to say something like 'I don't care what you mom says about Red Panda but she is my wife, she is a good person, she has been good to me and good to you. There is no reason for you to treat her like that and I will not stand for it' And then she needs punishment. If he is afraid that she won't want to come visit because she is punished then he needs to make a decision... who is more important in his life because he will end up losing you if she continues to treat you like that.
Completely agree! Your house
Completely agree! Your house your rules! Steroids follow your rules in YOUR house, it's not BM house! I'm SO SORRY that you have to deal with that, I know the feeling!! Good luck!!
Welcome to ST. Remember to
Welcome to ST. Remember to use paragraphs so we aren't all cross-eyed lol. :O
It most certainly is NOT SD13's prerogative to call you whatever she wants, esp in your own home. I have an SD19 away at college
and an SD13 at home who wants to be a boy. SD13 started mouthing off to me last summer when she was 12 and I finally couldn't stand it anymore, I couldn't ignore it any longer.
I would start turning around to face her, asking her to speak up, repeat what you said, etc. She was like a deer in the headlights. I took all of her electronics, and I mean ALL, to work with me for 10 days when DH was out of town. I told DH I had a right to be respected in my own home. SD13 wasn't saying things because she was in a bad mod that day, but rather she would say them after I caught her red-handed doing something wrong.
She would "shower" for 45 minutes and come out with dry hair. She would text DH out of town and say that she brushed her teeth when he was away on business. I could see the texts on my laptop and I knew she hadn't been in her bathroom to do anything, so I'd call her out on it. She would usually be scared and go do what she was told by me - immediately. Guilty as charged. Then I started to disengage. Everything I do regarding the SDs goes through DH now for the most part.
My skids are about 6 years behind in maturity level from the days in the 80's when I was a teen, so a lot of their oblivion and stupidity is hard for me to comprehend. SD19 acts more like a pouty, moody, disrespectful 13yo and sounds like your SD13, sassing back, thinking she can say whatever she wants without consequences. DH has let her do this for some time. I finally told DH I had had it with a snotty SD19 running my household during the 4 months out of the year that she was here. Let her go be a bitch somewhere else. This is my home.
The only way I got things to change was to go batshit crazy and stand up for myself. I would argue sometimes with SD19 when she had a meltdown. DH and I would ask her to take the trash out of her room and it would turn into a pissing match. SD13 doesn't want to shower? On day 5 I tell DH to ask her when the last time was? And remind him that she hasn't asked us for soap or shampoo in 3 months.
I would most certainly take SD13's cell phone if she has one. Give her a list of chores to do as punishment when she's at your house for the rest of her stay. Be a drill sargeant with her and ride her ass. You have to have DH on board. If he is like mine, he will start making excuses and try to dismiss her behavior. The next time something happens, you try a little harder.
It's a fine line knowing how far you can go when you have a DH with his head in the sand. Maybe he's on board? Then have SD13 do the dishes, mop the floor, wash the windows, sweep the garage/driveway, shovel snow. Put her ass to work. Yes, she will be a snotbag with a full-on attitude, but she will be put in her place. She has an attitude anyway, so what the hell, right? She needs to know that disrespect and a bad attitude will not be tolerated in your home. Start with consequences NOW while she's only 13, because my SD19 is a piece of work.
Don't tolerate her shit.
~ Moon
Wow!! It sounds like your
Wow!! It sounds like your talking about my life! The calls to DH, skid not showering or brushing teeth! Always an excuse from DH about skid getting into trouble at school. Not skids fault... Skid said skid did not do it...skid was trying to cover it up because skid didn't want skids friend to get into trouble! No
Matter what grade, what school, what teacher...what coach....everyone's picking on poor skid! Skid does nothing at the house unless I totally loose it a lot!! Skids room stinks, dirty, nasty, the smell is so horrible that you can smell it all the way into the living room!!! I could go on and on!! But skid got a vehicle to drive that is expensive, gets to play video
Games, gets to spend the night at people's house, ride motorcycles.. YA!!! Not a fun way to
Live!! I really feel for you and anyone else that has to deal with that!!
Windee, we are livin' the
Windee, we are livin' the dream, ain't we? }:) }:) }:) }:) }:) }:) :jawdrop:
Moon, I think I soundly like
Moon, I think I soundly like your reasoning and she started off her time doing chores she didn't disrespect me or my son. Something changed I don't know what it was it was like a light switch. She just came back one weekend and *poof* I had the evil SD. Maybe she was only pretending to be nice before? I don't think that's it.
Yes I think that was just venting. Next time maybe there should be more back story. I'm thinking maybe I should give a full long explanation of was has happened up to this point
I'll post it and then everyone will see I'm a little nuts for jumping head first into the family I'm in but to be fair my own family life was unconventional too.
Bawhahaha
Bawhahaha
My SD13 changed with the
My SD13 changed with the onset of puberty. At age 12y9mos she had her first monthly visitor last May, around Memorial Day. By the first week of July SDthen12 had turned into a little shit because of the hormones and no self-control. That's when I found this website and started to disengage some from SD12. No more periods all summer, just the one, but lots of weird tween behavior.
Before the first day of school SD13 said she wanted to be a boy, last week of August. Ten days later she got her second period. She has become a juvenile space cadet and has regressed into I don't know what. Someone referred to her as "dwarf monster baby" in another post here. LOL I think it was ChiefGrownUp. That describes SD13 to a T. Head in the clouds and getting younger everyday. She acts 7. It's my SD19 who acts like a tween now. Tantrums and all. It's become entertaining at this point. }:) Crazy bitch.
~ Moon
Time to get stricter with
Time to get stricter with SD.
Let it slide and she will only get worse.
Tell dad to Parent Up.