Help Me!!!
Where to begin! My husband is a wonderful father of 2 great kids! They now live in WI and we live in MI with my daughter who is with me every other week. We have his kids once a month for a weekend and then almost all summer! We have been married for four years and all of this just came about in the past few months - His daughter who has just turned 13 has really become quite awful to me and it seems like out of no where. We were very close from 6-11 and all of a sudden I find her doing things to hurt me and they hurt bad of course daddy says we see them so little that I should just let it go but I can't. The relationship I once had with her is gone and it is seems near impossible to get it back - she seem to be taking on her mothers attitude and lets just say that her mother has never liked me. I need help!!!!! :? :? 
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Im not sure what has changed
Im not sure what has changed - really I have no clue at all. I'm not with her enough to figure it out but yes she still is very close to her dad and everyone else in the house - The first problem happened at Xmas. I had all three kids make me a list and just the same I got everyone almost everything they wanted and I always buy the kids something special from me to them - Well she opened her special gift last after getting almost everything on her list already - I had bought her a Ashton Drake Porc Doll one of the real life ones and she looked at it handed it to me and said TAKE IT BACK! It cost me over 100 dollars and I had put so much effort and thought into it I was crushed - I blew up and my husband asked me if I wanted her mother to come pick her up - I said no because I did not want to destroy my husbands Christmas and from that point on she has been acting like she hates me. I cant figure out if its age or is jealous of me? Thanks for help - tell me what you think please
Been there, done that, burned
Been there, done that, burned the T-shirt.
I have no advice except to disengage since your DH is not dealing with this appropriately.
Are you saying to not speak
Are you saying to not speak to her anymore? Can you explain what you mean - I will try anything if it will help me get through this - thanxs
I clearly remember that
I clearly remember that magical age of 13. I had 3 bio daughters. Raised them alone since their father had died. It was as if I woke up one morning and all 3 girls who at the time were 13, 14 and almost 15 had become aliens. Suddenly there was nothing I did right. Hanging out with mom was unthinkable, The eye rolling and that neck and hand action thing started when ever they spoke to me. They even came up with the brilliant idea that I should let them move into a foster home they could live and be happy. They had a friend who lived in a foster home. According to them the rules were not as tough as the ridiculous rules they were held to and allowance was not based on chores.
Their peer group at the junior high was a lot of the influence. They are now in their 30's and like me just fine. Sometimes it is just the age.
I was god awful to my mom at
I was god awful to my mom at that age. And my son was a big fat jerk to me when he was a teen. It happens. I get it. Now, as a SM, I am dealing with an adolescent that suddenly treats me badly but is attached at the hip to mom and dad. I am not sure how OP's SD is treating her parents, but if it's like my situation, it hurts to be the one singled out. But I agree with you.... chalk it up to the age and give her some room and hopefully it gets better.
Yes, 2 sd and 1 bd - all were
Yes, 2 sd and 1 bd - all were aliens at that age. They come back around to the relationship that you had. This is not a step problem but a teenage problem.
Yes it does hurt and I dont
Yes it does hurt and I dont see her and moms relaionship but I do see her and her dads and everyone else in the house. It upsets me so much and thats just it - its like its only me - I'm the one she hates and she wont tell me why. :?
Stay strong, keep parenting
Stay strong, keep parenting and loving her just as you always have. She WILL come back, and way before she reaches 30.
I have two older bd's - the oldest will be 24 this year, no. 2 will be 21. The oldest was the sweetest, most generous, hard working, thoughtful and kind child. Not just saying that she was lovely.
Then the teen years - OMFG. Devil child. We went through hell with her. Bad friends, bad choices, an absolute nightmare.
She is now 23 as I said, she works, she has a home (rental) she is responsible, and she calls and texts me all the time (she lives in another state now) just to chat, to tell me she misses me and loves me etc.
She may not be where I wanted her to be (university, stellar career prospects, etc etc LOL) but she is growing up, she is happy and she is doing ok for herself.
Your daughters will come out of it too, and may not do the things you wanted but lets face it - that's part of growing up - allowing them to make their own choices.
Boys are very different (from
Boys are very different (from what I have read - and trust me I've read a lot - OBD23 was so hard) Girls and their mums - the teen years are the hardest - it's all about separating from us, becoming independent etc. Only the don't have the maturity to do it in a nice way (well some aren't so bad, no. 2 BD was pretty much the poster child in her teen years, but I think that comes down to following after No. 1 who she could see was hell on wheels)