To think, once upon a time SD8's Kindergarten teacher thought she might have been gifted...

We are now on year 3 of the same terrible school behavior from SD, and I don't see it stopping anytime soon.

Since SD was in Kindergarten I've noticed issues with behavior, concentration, etc. I'm not a doctor though. Other people have noticed it too - mostly in my family. I've told this to DW a million times. She just either didn't see it, or didn't want to do anything about it. I don't know. It is incredibly frustrating. We've had four. 4. FOUR! teachers across two different schools now allude to the fact that SD likely has ADHD. Nothing has been done by her parents.

Last year I pushed the issue because I was sick of listening to the homework battle every night. Plus she's setting a terrible example for BS3. DW promised me that she would speak with the Pediatrician about it and get SD8 tested this summer. Guess what? It never happened. I'm not surprised.

So here we are, about a month into the school year, and SD8 is rocking a 1.33 GPA. She is failing every single subject except language arts. This is a repeat of the last two years. DW keeps saying "BioDad or I need to set up a meeting with the teacher." It hasn't been done yet, and frankly I don't see the purpose. We've had these meetings several times over the past few years and they produce NO results. The teacher tells you basically she has ADHD, and you don't do anything with that information. So what is the point? She never finishes her work, she "loses" things (I suspect she just doesn't do them and then doesn't turn them in), she constantly gets in trouble at school...etc.

DW finally this week spoke with BioDad about SD's problems with concentration, sitting still, behavior and told him she wants to get SD tested for ADHD. (I doubt this conversation would have ever happened if I hadn't brought it up. The fact that she did it is also surprising since I haven't mentioned it in a couple of months). Anyway, BioDad actually agreed it was a good idea. So that is a positive, even if it will now be on DW to follow through. Despite this, they both mutually agreed that they absolutely will not put SD on any medication. I think that is short-sighted. I'm not an advocate for overly medicating any child, but I think the option should be on the table. DW said to me "I know you feel the same way.... right?" I told her no. I said if the doctors believe that she would really benefit from it, it should be tried. We can try treatment without meds first (counseling, diet changes, etc), but I told her I don't think anything that could help SD reach her potential should be written off. DW's response was "well I'm not medicating her."

It's frustrating because I don't think the kid is an idiot. Things she finds useful (like manipulation), she is an expert at. She just does not have any semblance of work ethic, like her father. In fact, DW said to me the other day how much it pisses her off that SD is so much like her father in that respect. DW is a very hard worker and it has paid off for her - I wish she could impart that to SD.

So here we are again, with no resolution in sight. I'm done with being tough on SD for this stuff though. If she fails and gets kicked out of her school or forced to repeat a grade she can suffer the consequences. It's only going to get worse.

I just throw my hands up anymore. There is clearly nothing I can do, and why try when my advice is never taken?