I've been hemming over posting this for a week now. I'm not really sure why, I guess because I just need to get it off my chest.

First things first. This school year we've noticed a change in SD8's behavior. She's been much better at school, less flying off the handle about little stupid things, in general much less touchy. She also sits at a desk by herself, which helps her greatly. However, DW and I have also noted that she seems much more downcast lately, which for SD is very unusual. She's generally a pretty happy kid. So we have tried to get to the bottom of that, but SD wasn't telling us anything.

The week of Thanksgiving rolls around and things got very annoying, very quickly. It started with SD8 suddenly telling DW that she wants to cut her hair short (to her shoulders, currently it is mid-back), she also wants to have it straightened, and to die it black. All of this stuff blew DW away. I will admit that SD8 has VERY good hair. She has light brown hair with slight waviness to it - not curly at all. DW's hair is extremely curly. So I was also shocked about this sudden change, but she's 8... I guess that is the age when little girls start thinking about these things? I dunno.

Also during this time we've notice when she is at our house she is CONSTANTLY wanting to text her father (using DW's phone). At first I thought she was doing it to talk to her soon to be step-sister (14), who she absolutely loves (though I do not think is a great influence on her), but it turns out it is just to text MachineMan. The texts are sickeningly disgusting... same thing every time (I love you so much daddy, I miss you so much daddy, I can't wait to give you a hug). SD literally asks every day she is with us to text him. DW has started to get a little angry.

I dawned on me, as an arm-chair psychologist, what is going on with SD8. She's not getting attention from Daaaaddddy anymore, because he is infatuated with his fiance, and doesn't give SD8 everything she wants (because, for what it is worth, the soon-to-be-stepmom actually parents her kid and SD, and has started making BioDad do it too). The stepmom's hair is straight, shoulder-length, and black. She is also short. SD8 was complaining to me just last week of how she wishes she wasn't so tall. So, clearly SD8 is confused... or at least that is the way it appears to me. She's trying to make herself like the stepmom to get closer to her father.

I even mentioned this to DW, who just blew it off. Whatever, not my kid, right? Riiiight.

So then my parents came into town Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and we happened to have SD this week. Immediately as soon as my parents walk in the door, SD starts with her extremely rude behavior to me, talking back, arguing, generally being a little shit. DW, of course, did not notice... at least until my MOTHER finally said something to SD. I had asked SD to do something, and SD had a smart-ass retort that essentially was a challenge to me. Apparently my mom was sick of hearing it and she let SD have it. Go Mom! Anyway, DW was in the other room but heard the entire thing happen. I sent SD to her room and went to speak with DW, who was in our bedroom. I was livid and basically told her I'm sick of SD speaking like this, that I'm going to take her to her father's house for the rest of the week if she keeps this shit up. I was definitely raising my voice at DW, which in retrospect probably was not a great idea. But I am so DAMN frustrated. This happens constantly, SD has no respect for adults, we've had this conversation 1000 times, and DW doesn't DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I pretty much ignored SD the rest of the time she was at our house - she left in the middle of the day on Thanksgiving, and my parents left the next day.

But it gets better. DW decided to speak with SD about why she was "acting out" while my parents were here. SD told her that it was because she "feels she is not wanted at out house." When DW told me this, it was everything I could do not to not blow my damn lid.

#1 - this is the exact same bullshit she pulled when her father and gf first got together and she started having to act like an actual human being at HIS house. Suddenly his house was terrible and nobody paid attention to her there.

#2 - i have worked my ass off to pay attention to this child. I have signed her up for everything she has asked to try: soccer, swimming, softball, basketball, and now violin lessons. I even coached her on the softball team. All I got in return was a constant stream of complaints, whining, and telling me she didn't want to be there. We've even had days when just she and I do fun stuff... and she complains or treats me like shit.

She complains that BS3 gets all of the attention. Bullshit. SD8 actually gets more attention because she is CONSTANTLY ACTING OUT!!! I mean for christ's sake... while doing her activities, BS3 had to come along and watch. He is always incredibly bored, but I've told him "that is what you have to do in a family. Support your other family members." So, we signed BS3 up for teeball next spring, and SD found out she was going to have to come and watch him play, and just sit on the sidelines. SD, of course, had a meltdown. DW is all "oh, but honey, BS3 had to do this at your things too..." SD doesn't care. She is such an entitled, manipulating little brat - she will probably get what she wants.

I suppose it is very difficult for a parent to tell when their child is manipulating them, but man can I see SD8 doing this to DW to get what she wants. It will never change, and I know in just a couple of years I'll have to come up with an answer for BS when he inevitably asks why SD gets everything that she wants, and he gets told no.

Rant over. Feels at least a little better to get it out.