I know I make sure my DH knows how much I appreciate him and I make sure he knows I think he is a wonderful father. He also knows hes not perfect but who is right? Ask BM though and youd get a whole diff story. Happy Father's Day!

I don't know why the previous posters didn't stick with the topic. (ETA: first two comments)

I think being a father is undergoing a paradigm shift. Remember in the 80's there was that book, Superwomen, about women and the double burden of the then paradigm shift --- women in the workforce starting to be taken seriously and still expected to care 100% for children/elders/spouses and the home?

There was such a backlash - I guess it's still going on - about how women didn't belong 'at the top.' So now men are experiencing it when they want to embrace their lives as fathers. Only instead they're mocked for not going to work, or for parenting/taking care of the home differently.

The paradigm won't shift quickly. I sometimes think society is so fluid. Roles seem so firmly defined, until you look closely and realize that even the most firm are so new and abitrary. Equality is a work in progress. Being respected as a person, whether parent or employee or whatever, shouldn't be so easily withdrawn for choosing to buck the trend. But I guess that's how the sheep try to keep the other sheep in line.

My personal opinion is that whatever makes the family happy is the way to go. It's only recently that SAHD has even been an option, now that American women are generally able to earn 75% of what men earn (source: National Committe on Pay Equity http://www.pay-equity.org/info.html).

I have to give my DH credit on this--he is WAY more hands on than pretty much any father I have ever seen in my parents' generation. I think there also might be something about how in the past, children was kind of expected--like it was just what married people do, have kids, no ifs, ands, or buts, whether they truly wanted children or not. Part of the reason I think my DH is so hands on (and some of the other DH's out there) is because they now recognize that having children are a choice (the final one of which is obviously the woman's) and therefore they put some value to that fact.

When we were deciding whether or not to terminate the pregnancy, DH, who really wanted to keep (vs. me, who was leaning towards not), promised he'd do at least half of the caretaking and all of the financial responsibilities of the baby and that he'd go to counseling for his issues, and I agreed. I think because he truly, truly wanted it that he is this hands on.

In any case, yes, I feel like a lot of men don't get as much credit, especially since we, as a generation, are bombarded with so much media from movies/celebrities/TV shows that show what that "ideal" father/husband is that when they fall short of perfection, we women think they aren't good enough.